MALCONTENTION   28,609
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Me pre-Spark





April '09 at 138





Me on top of the podium at my first mountain bike race.



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Taking Control Again

What a journey this is! In 2008, I committed myself to weightloss and fitness. I achieved some really exciting results. And then I let go, prompted in large part by my mother's cancer diagnosis in 2010 and death in 2011.

As of 6/12 I'm pretty much back where I started. It doesn't feel great, but imagining how I'm going to feel when I'm strong and fit again does. It's time to recommit to myself.

These are the lessons I'm trying to learn (this list is a work in progress) ...
What a journey this is! In 2008, I committed myself to weightloss and fitness. I achieved some really exciting results. And then I let go, prompted in large part by my mother's cancer diagnosis in 2010 and death in 2011.

As of 6/12 I'm pretty much back where I started. It doesn't feel great, but imagining how I'm going to feel when I'm strong and fit again does. It's time to recommit to myself.

These are the lessons I'm trying to learn (this list is a work in progress) through my journey:

1. Eat anything you want--just in a reasonable quantity. It's easier to do this when you savor every bite!

2. I can get that anytime. The vast majority of food is not unique, so it's not like I won't have a chance to eat it at an appropriate time.

3. Food is not going to make me feel better. Actually, it will for a short while (:-) I'm a food soother), but then I'll just feel bad again, and it'll be compounded by what I just did.

4. Making healthy choices is very empowering. It feels wonderful to know what you're eating, why, and what the results will be.

5. Regular exercise must always be a part of my life. It makes me feel good and helps me manage my weight even when I'm eating more than I should.

6. My work will never be over. Hitting my goal weight will be just another milestone, not the end.

7. On this journey it's ok to take a detour from time to time as long as it doesn't become a permanent relocation!

8. Food is nourishment, not an anti-depressant.

9. Eat mindfully.

10. Having healthy, appealing food on hand is important. It helps prevent the poor choices that I often make when I'm hungry and frantically looking for something to eat.

Progress updates:
6/28/10: In March I was soooo close to my goal. And then I blew up. I made some choices that compromised my feeling of control over my life. I pretty much binged for 3 months and the scale reacted accordingly. I'm now feeling back in control and the scale is moving back down.

7/22/10: Still here! Doing great with exercise, not great with food. I'm thinking it might be a summer thing--am I on vacation from healthy habits? But having this community here keeps me mindful of what I want to accomplish and helps me avoid straying too far from the right path.

1/15/11: At the end of last summer I learned my mom had cancer and let myself go--"comforting" myself with food and giving up most of my exercise. I gained 20+ pounds from my low of last spring. It's a new year, and my focus is back. I DO NOT want to be overweight. I know how to do this, I'm going to do this!

5/27/11: My mom died in April. It's been challenging in recent months to get myself to focus on healthy eating and exercise. I'm lucky I haven't gained even more weight. It's time to focus on me again. For the first time in many months, I don't really have an excuse not to exercise and eat well.

8/15/12: I'm doing reasonably well. The scale is heading in the right direction, and I'm getting close to achieving my goal of attaining a normal BMI (again). I've been cooking my own healthy food a lot, using lots of fruits and vegetables from local farmers. And I'm almost, but not quite, achieving the exercise goals I set for myself. For some reason, I haven't been feeling the love on this front, but I'm not beating myself up too much as long as I keep at it.
Read More About MALCONTENTION (Updated September 13)




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 current weight: 155.6 
 
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Member Since: 2/26/2008

SparkPoints: 28,609

Fitness Minutes: 70,082

My Goals:
I am 5'5" and my first goal when I joined SparkPeople was to get my BMI down so that I was not technically overweight. I managed to achieve that on 3/14/08, but have done some backsliding. This is my goal again.

Stay below my Fat Ceiling (140)

Low to date of 130.5 achieved 3/11/10

Ultimate goal is 125 (at least I think that's my ultimate goal)

Lower my percentage of body fat
4/09: 30.5%
9/09: 26.5%
2/10: 25.7%

1. Eat well
2. Cardio exercise at least 5 hours per week
3. Yoga 1-2 days/week
4. Strength training at least once per week
5. Get more than 7 hours of sleep each night
6. Take core fitness class 2 days per week

My Program:
Eat less, exercise more.

Bicycling (road and mountain) is my main form of warm weather exercise. I have pretty bad low back pain, which I hope to address through yoga, core fitness, and strength training in my legs.

Personal Information:
I live in eastern Mass. I love to road bike and mountain bike in the spring/summer/fall along with an occasional hike. In winter I enjoy every kind of skiing. I'm mostly a vegetarian.

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Member Comments:
CAROLISCIOUS
4/1/2014 10:12:47 PM

Thanks for the half marathon goodie!
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THECITYMOUSE
3/3/2014 8:00:51 PM

Oh I've been more than AWOL. I've been MIA and AWOL and everybloodythinginbetween. Ugh.
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How've you been, love? You can PM me if you like, if you don't fancy broadcasting everything ...

I started logging food things AGAIN today. I have to have something to keep me focused. For some reason, that's just not happening ...

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JESPAH
10/21/2013 11:51:02 AM

Thanks for commenting on my blog! :)



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CAROLISCIOUS
10/2/2013 11:20:05 PM

I may keep it. It will be nice to have when I am on vacation where I will do a lot of walking. Still thinking about it.



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CAROLISCIOUS
7/17/2013 8:42:25 PM

Thanks for the blog comment...might try it again this weekend!



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