Hi! My name is Robin. I am a married 50-yr-old mom of 4. I haven't always struggled with weight (although it seems like it ...). Until I married at barely 19 I was a stick - literally, eating whatever I wished whenever I wanted with no thought about what was going in my mouth or how much was going in either! Very nice to be able to do!

I gained 10 lbs right after getting married - figured it was that "happily married thing." At 22 I gained 40 lbs with our first baby and lost it all ...

Hi! My name is Robin. I am a married 50-yr-old mom of 4. I haven't always struggled with weight (although it seems like it ...). Until I married at barely 19 I was a stick - literally, eating whatever I wished whenever I wanted with no thought about what was going in my mouth or how much was going in either! Very nice to be able to do!

I gained 10 lbs right after getting married - figured it was that "happily married thing." At 22 I gained 40 lbs with our first baby and lost it all within the year after delivery. At 24 I gained another 40 with #2, lost it all; at 27 gained another 40 with #3, and lost all but 5 by the time our third baby was 2. Now approaching 30 in the timeline ....

Just short of 2 months before my 30th birthday, my 48-yr-old mother died with kidney cancer. It was devastating to me emotionally because we were very close, but I truly do not believe my weight gain started with her death. It kind of seemed that all the problems one might encounter at 40 hit me at 30 and so much life was happening all at the same time!

I struggled with getting ANY weight off AT ALL no matter how hard I worked or what I tried. I continued gaining until hovering somewhere around 200.

Got surprised with a fourth baby at 35 and lost 20 lbs during this pregnancy without even trying. That was nice! I think it was due to a boost in metabolism (which since baby #4 seems to have gone on a permanent vacation)!

I am at my heaviest ever right now and am dealing with a problematic L5, left knee, left shoulder and swelling in my fee and legs, too.

I read an article on Debra Berney of kickinthepants.com. "Debra's been kicking people in the pants for over 15 years. She holds an M.S. degree in Community Health and is a certified instructor, personal trainer and wellness coach. She is also a speaker and writer and looks forward to spreading the message that there's more to fitness than fat and muscle - there's actually heart and soul. Debra continues to challenge herself to act as an example. By doing her first figure program at 50+ years, stepping outside of her comfort zone (far outside!!) she hopes to show that age is not a limiting factor for attempting any goal, even if you or others think you're crazy to do it. Women 40, 50 and beyond are only getting started to make their mark on the world! So ladies, GO FOR IT!!" I've posted her picture in a purple velvet string bikini here at home to remind me of my goal and that I CAN DO IT!

Debra actually prepared for and entered a body building competition!! She's a mother of 5, ladies!! After reading everything I could about Debra, I decided to find out what it would take to prepare for a body building competition, not to actually enter one, mind you, but to get into the kind of shape to be able to do so if I wanted to. =o) I simply want to reward myself with a coral string bikini and parade around the house in it! I want to relish in the emotional satisfaction of "I DID this! I CAN DO ANYTHING! " And how encouraging it would be not only myself but also to my girls and to others to actually accomplish this!

BUT .... I looked into training for this and was blown away. I feel like I am destined to be a fat failure for life since I do not how to afford $360 a month to have someone give me a nutrition plan, spot me from beginning to end of my workout sessions 3x a week, and guarantee results without further injuries! Yes, I need someone's skill, education and guidance because all the learning and doing that I have done over the past 20+ years isn't and hasn't been working! I do not need accountability. I am very disciplined, determined and dedicated to reach a size 12 or better, but am not and have not been getting anywhere close to that size let alone a size smaller and then staying there!! It's very defeating and discouraging. Feels hopeless.

Then my cousin Cathy, ("God, bless her!") sent me to Sparkpeople.com. I am enjoying the motivational success stories, food tracker, fitness tracker .... looking for guidance to success and hoping for results.

To be strong enough to run a distance race is also on my fitness bucket list. I'm not sure that my left knee or right hip will ever let me, but I think about it every day that I wog my 4 miles.

As I update this today (December 28, 2012), I am looking into juicing for the health benefits of it with the hopes of losing weight. I was given a juicer and Weight Watchers material for Christmas.

There will always be improvements to be made, goals to add or change. But right now, I am loving the hope and all the potential that I have found in SparkPeople! I'm giving myself room to grow. When I make poor choices due to total "duh-ness" I know that resources are now available to me, and they are going to help me realize the changes that need to be made and HOW to make them! It's AWESOME!!

I believe this is my year!

Read More About AWESOMEIN12 (Updated December 28)

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