ARTNANRKY
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At Allen Gardens june 2016




Centre Island - June 2016




me at the zoo the day after Canada Day 2016. 280 lbs. here. 1 month or so into BED therapy


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I have just come to terms with the fact that I have a raging Eating Disorder. Binge Eating Disorder = BED. A lot of things are making sense to me: like how I could not possibly know more about food and nutrition that I already do and no amount of knowledge would be helpful anyway... it's like telling an alcoholic 'hey.. you shouldn't drink so much'... thanks. so helpful.
here's another analogy that I'm fond of right now:
-Person 1 and person 2 have an abusive relationship where person 1 hits person 2 in the face constantly
-Person 2 realizes this is a problem: there are always bruises on the face
-Person 2 has tried EVERY THING to deal with the bruise: creams to cover, sunglasses to hide, ice or meat to heal faster... Surprise: nothing works! How oh how can I get rid of these bruises... bruises are hideous and make life hard, person 2 cries.
-Person 2 has to stop getting her face hit: the bruises aren't the problem. The hits to the face are.
fat is the bruise. it is the symptom of the issue, not the issue itself. it is life threatening at this point.
So I have to dramatically change my relationship with food.
Addiction means when you do something compulsively when you are aware of negative consequence... not being able to control your choices. (much different from just really digging a tv show, no?)
I have a lot going for me right now... My DH and I now own our first home! It's a condo we got for super cheap because it was trashed: we will be renovating for the next few years I'm guessing! We have swapped our downtown memberships at the AGO and the ROM for Science Centre and Toronto Zoo.
My DD is now 4 years old and brings unbelievable loads of pure joy to my life. She was Dx as ASD at 16 months so we have been getting all the support and services we could for her since then and she is doing AMAZING. Pretty sure she's an actual superhero..
I am now a licensed Security Guard and work part time as such. And I'm still plugging away at being an Illustrator but most of my gigs these days are more graphic design in nature.
In July, my first book will be published by Asquith press! (PUNK Pourri - The Colouring Book. Not as lame as it sounds... I will post some pix of it when it's done)
And then... as mentioned... I'm trying to journal daily so I can figure out the nature of my disease so I can actually heal up and eat normally and not feel panic and anxiety and stress constantly because I'm obsessing about FOOD.
I would still love to one day have a poker party at our home.. but I'm pretty freaking tired!
sigh...
and that's where I'm at these days...
July 3/16


Member Since: 8/4/2006

Fitness Minutes: 11,800

My Goals:
deal with my eating disorder
deal with my hashimotos
deal with my anemia
enjoy my family
renovate our home
publish book



My Program:
in the interest of normalized eating:
Eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day
don't snack in between,
eat something within 30 minutes of waking
eat something ever 3 or so hours
eat in designated eating places
take synthroid daily
take iron daily
be nicer to Ryan and take good care of both Ryan and Ellinor
get something done off the reno list once per week



Personal Information:
Married to/in love with an awesome guy: Ryan. We have a beautiful daughter: Ellinor.
Interested in getting healthier, making art, and learning and trying new things!

I have a BFA and in the past, I have studied at digital media studios as well as the Institute of Holistic Nutrition.
I was vegan for 7 years, but it wasn't right for my body :(
Just like most people on this site, I'm sure: I have read A LOT of books on nutrition and weight loss. there's lots of ideas out there, but now, i've changed my focus: I'm looking inward and finding what works for me.


Other Information:
visit
http://lesliewalters.wix.com/artworks
My illustration portfolio!

Married to Ryan! Since 2008




Read More About ARTNANRKY - Profile Information moved here. (Updated July 3)




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My Ticker:
51 Days since:  starting BED recovery
 
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