A preacher's wife told me to take a piece of paper and fold it lengthwise, then write what I didn't like about my husband on one half an what I did like about him on the other half. When he came home, I told him to do the same. I filled up the part of what I didn't like and had very little on what I did like. He wrote nothing on the part of what he didn't like about me and a lot on what he did like. She counseled me the next day while he was at work and told me I needed to build him up, not tear him down.
The part that I find most interesting about all this loss and renewal is that, if you asked me ten years ago if I could have survived all this, I would have said absolutely not, yet here I am. I guess we don't really know what we're capable of (or capable of learning) until we get in there. Sounds like you've made the same sorts of transitions and discoveries.