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word to the wise...



 
 
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X5X52000
Posts: 6,013
11/7/11 3:54 P

thank for the advice trinity



TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
11/7/11 3:14 P

thanks Trinity. I certainly do not need that in my life. I am down another 2 pounds. Fortunately, he's only here about 6 weeks out of the year, so I don't have to be bothered.



TRINITYROYAL
Posts: 2,399
11/7/11 2:49 P

Turtle, the dude at work is a bit of a bully. If you react to him with anything other than mild amusement combined with mild scorn, he will continue to pester you. He has found a button to push with you, and he will continue to push it as long as it pays off. Don't give him the satisfaction. Once he's no longer getting the reaction he wants from you, he'll wander away to find someone else to bug.

Next time he says or does anything, just smile and say nothing. He'll think you're laughing at him (and you should be, because he's being so silly). He'll try a few more times. Just smile and say nothing. He'll give up.

Trinity



BREWMASTERBILL
SparkPoints: (31,080)
Fitness Minutes: (12,713)
Posts: 4,110
11/7/11 10:13 A

Sounds to me like he's simply trying to get under your skin. Ignore, ignore, ignore.



TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
11/7/11 10:11 A

Excellent advice everyone. Thanks. I needed that. I just didn't know how to handle myself around others. I got this one jerk at work who seems destined to sabotage me. He took some kind of sweet out of the fridge, got a spoonful of it and said, "open your mouth". He was trying to feed me. Can you believe that? That coming after he said I had gained too much weight. What a jerk!!



HGSGUY
SparkPoints: (117,967)
Fitness Minutes: (122,689)
Posts: 2,625
11/4/11 11:14 P

No, I am not dieting, I am working out and getting fit, the weight loss is my body getting rid of what it doesn't need. You know (fill in the blank), looks like you are headed for a stroke or a heart attack. We sure would miss you. Why don't you stop by SparkPeople.com and start working out. It will help you with all those medical conditions you are always complaining about! Who knows, work hard enough and you may be able to look this good!

The odd thing is, rarely (I know it happens) do relatives other than very close ones say, "hold on, you better put that plate down, you are looking a bit plump"! My Mother-in-law always thinks I am going to starve. Last Thanksgiving I ate more than I should have. I ate more lean healthier stuff and less fatty stuff. She latter commented that I had hardly eaten a thing! Only about 2,000 calories!



X5X52000
Posts: 6,013
11/4/11 5:59 P

yep



TRINITYROYAL
Posts: 2,399
11/4/11 5:53 P

Turtle, could it be that your husband feels threatened by the positive changes you're making?

If you'r looking better, feeling better and gaining more confidence, then perhaps you'll up and leave and find someone better? Not saying it's true, but it might be what he's feeling. Perhaps he needs some reassurance that you're happy where you are and want to be the healthiest, happiest possible wife for him and mother for your child.

As for the negative feedback though, don't take it on. If people are criticizing your behaviour and you're trying to justify it to them, it's like giving them permission to keep offering their opinions. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your behaviour. If you don't want to hear their opinions, don't give them an opening to offer them.

If someone's pressuring me to eat something I don't want, I just say "No, thank you." Whatever pressure they put on, I just keep repeating "No, thank you". Eventually they'll get bored and move on.

Trinity



TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
10/26/11 12:16 P

yeah, you're probably right.



ERICWS
SparkPoints: (8,307)
Fitness Minutes: (22,220)
Posts: 1,537
10/26/11 12:09 P

He does sound like he has a small overall frame, so maybe that would work food-wise for him. Still doubtful- he must go to Chick-fil-a more than you think!

My wife and I have a rule: our combined weight can never be more than 280 lbs. It has worked for us for the most part, save 2007-09 when I balooned up to 185. Now, we are happily well below our weight total!



TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
10/26/11 12:06 P

he's 5'6, 140lbs, and believe me, he's ALL muscle. He's a plumber. He does stop for Chick-fil-a and things like that sometimes for lunch, but usually a pack of peanuts or a honeybun. He does only eat one plate for supper, cause I'm right there with him.



ERICWS
SparkPoints: (8,307)
Fitness Minutes: (22,220)
Posts: 1,537
10/26/11 11:47 A

I agree. No offense, Amy, but unless you married an 85-lb weakling, which I doubt you did, he must be eating something more.

Maybe he just likes his woman a bit thicker! ;-)

More likely he is saying that out of fear that you would be mad at him for saying anything that might suggest he thinks you are fat, and doesn't realize that you are discouraged by what he is saying.
But, he must be stopping out for food out of your sight, because no guy would survive on that meager diet. Sorry- just don't believe it.



GETNFITGUY
SparkPoints: (23,483)
Fitness Minutes: (25,247)
Posts: 734
10/26/11 11:43 A

That's all he eats!!!! I would be "famished" by the time dinner came around if I was only eating 300 calories before dinner. Does he not work out or have a physical job? I would think he would need at least 1,800 calories to not feel tired and drained at work or while working out.



TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
10/26/11 10:45 A

right Eric, but he doesn't even eat junk food. He has coffee in the morning, a pack of peanuts for lunch, and one plate of whatever I cook for supper. He's never been addicted to junk food like I am.



BREWMASTERBILL
SparkPoints: (31,080)
Fitness Minutes: (12,713)
Posts: 4,110
10/26/11 9:47 A

Aside from ignoring the noise, being persistent and achieving your goals speaks volumes to your naysayers. The people that were on me about my changes now seem to have some level of acceptance. Some even have become a lot more active now than they were a year ago. I'm not going to take the credit for it, but I'm glad they're doing something.



ERICWS
SparkPoints: (8,307)
Fitness Minutes: (22,220)
Posts: 1,537
10/26/11 9:35 A

I already told you what to do! Pat him on the belly and let him know he needs to lay off the cheetos!



TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
10/26/11 9:26 A

hey FIT, I feel you man. You said what I didn't yesterday in my original post. But one question for ya'll. Why the h-e-l-l would my husband be envious of me. He's the main one telling me crap like, "oh, just one meal wont hurt" and crap like that. If anything, seems like he'd want a hot body to make passionate love to at night. I don't get it. Then he tells me, "oh, baby, you're not big, you are just right" Yeah right, I still have belly flab from my 2 year old little boy.



ERICWS
SparkPoints: (8,307)
Fitness Minutes: (22,220)
Posts: 1,537
10/25/11 6:45 P

Understood, but what you are accomplishing is amazing, and you're doing this all for you and you alone- your health. So enjoy what you are doing, and don't let the people who are not brave enough to change their lives for the better sit and eat their boston cream pies and waste their lives away while you get out and enjoy life!

Woohoo! emoticon



FITCHALLENGER
SparkPoints: (7,307)
Fitness Minutes: (10,690)
Posts: 349
10/25/11 5:33 P

That's good advice Eric. I guess I have to get used to it.

I like telling open and honest friends and relatives what I'm doing when I know they are looking for a light at the end of the tunnel, and they ask for advice. I was there half of my life...

It's the envious type the ones that make me feel awkward.



ERICWS
SparkPoints: (8,307)
Fitness Minutes: (22,220)
Posts: 1,537
10/25/11 5:12 P

I'm amazed and shocked that people are shy and nervous about LOOKING BETTER, FEELING BETTER, and being GOOD ROLE MODELS!


Man, suck it up- those fat-arse relatives can learn something from you. Be a beacon of healthy light in this obesity-filled world!



FITCHALLENGER
SparkPoints: (7,307)
Fitness Minutes: (10,690)
Posts: 349
10/25/11 5:08 P

Just this weekend I saw some relatives I hadn't seen about 50 lbs ago.

Just one of them privately mentioned a sincere and positive thing about my weight; I've always known that person for his sincerity. Of all the rest, not one of them... which is fine with me because I do feel kind of awkward when a comment about my weight loss is made in public.

Dinner (greasy and filled with refined carbs) was ready, and I said "Thanks, but I already had dinner earlier (which I had), so this time I'll pass"... I was really having a good time at the table without eating...

And the pressure started...

- "Come on, its just one dinner." Thanks, I'm really not hungry.
- "Have one at least" Really thanks, but I'm not hungry anymore.
- "Dinner is served, come on." Thanks, it sure looks tasty. Maybe later.
- "Here, have my plate". Thank you very much, but I really just come from having dinner (it was true).

And after about 10 unsuccessful attempts by different members of the same table, comes the winner of the night:

- "You're on a diet, right?". NOOOO, I'M NOT. MY MISSING 50 LBS OF FAT WERE ABDUCTED BY ALIENS LAST NIGHT!!!

I really enjoy seeing the reactions of people I haven't seen in some time. You can separate the sincere and transparent ones from the envious kind. It's fun.




Edited by: FITCHALLENGER at: 10/25/2011 (17:19)


TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
10/25/11 2:06 P

ok!! BTW, how the heck do you upload more photos on your sparkpage? I don't see the icon.
Nevermind, I got it!!

Edited by: TURTLESDOVE at: 10/25/2011 (14:24)


ERICWS
SparkPoints: (8,307)
Fitness Minutes: (22,220)
Posts: 1,537
10/25/11 1:53 P

PS- only you can destroy what you are doing. All the negative response and attempts to subterfuge your effrot will fail unless YOU give in!



ERICWS
SparkPoints: (8,307)
Fitness Minutes: (22,220)
Posts: 1,537
10/25/11 1:52 P

I don't give one crappola what anyone else thinks. I am proud of how I am doing, and what I am accomplishing, and am not afraid to tell my friends and family that I am watching what I eat and exercising every day.

If anything, you SHOULD tell them you are doing so, and stand tall against their negative response. You may just inspire them to join you!



KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,787
10/25/11 1:36 P

I give that advice all-the-time. The moment you announce that you're on a diet the envy claws come out to destroy to a.s.a.p.!



TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
10/25/11 1:21 P

NEVER EVER, under any circumstance, tell someone that you are dieting!! I don't have time right now to type the many reasons, but trust me on this one!!



 
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