I'm the same way. The other day it occurred to be how different we feel about the front size of approaching a certain weight (gaining), as opposed to when we are coming at it from the back side. For instance what used to be my starting weight(years ago)-and seemed sooo bad. Now that same number looks pretty good. In the same way when we gain 5 pounds--that seems like a TON, but if we LOSE 5 pounds we might say "Eh, it was just 5 measly pounds!".
Work on the underlying issues as well as the weight because you don't want to be my age and looking back over all those years of ups and downs and back ups again - as an adult, I have gotten as low as about 125 and as high as 360+ The slide show is a bit disturbing - THIS time I am taking my time.
I completely feel you. I'm 27 now and was also recently looking at pictures of myself in college. I used to think I was enormous because I was hovering around 180. Now I'm at 220 and I have absolutely no idea how the creep kept happening- I would kill to go back to that 5 years ago (heck I'd go back to 2 years ago!)... Now I have a stressful job and my life is completely different. We are in a completely different stage of life, and I really feel my body has changed in shape and metabolism and hormones. Some days it confuses/frustrates the heck out of me. But we have to let go of those old pictures because what we did to lose the weight back then won't work now. Everything (life, stresses, your body) changes so much in your 20s. Right now is a good chance to find motivation to start over in a new stage of life with a healthier lifestyle that is going to change our bodies/habits for the better. Try to find those things that make you a mature person and make your life better today than back when you were young, and leverage them. :) Find the positive in yourself and build a vision for the future and start fresh :)
Fitness Minutes: (4,633)
208 2/25/13 11:48 P
I know exactly what you are talking about. When I lost the weight I was so excited. Health issues came my way and the weight came back. Of course, I can't blame it all on the health battle I face, I would like to, but I can't.
I sit here today, happy to be on Spark People again. It is so motivating and I get to read articles from real folks, like yourself.
Thanks for posting!
Fitness Minutes: (21,115)
1,248 2/25/13 10:46 P
Yes, they are opportunities! I took the opportunity to take a second walk today....but had to wake up my dog! What a life he has! Have a happy, healthy Tuesday!
That's true--I think we're all faced with choices numerous times a day. It helps me sometimes to think of them as "opportunities".
I think another thing to remember is that although we all may be at different stages in our journey, we're all in this journey together. There is something precious that I can learn from each person, whether they're at their goal weight, far from it, or somewhere in between.
Fitness Minutes: (21,115)
1,248 2/24/13 5:19 P
You're all so right. It is a daily, hourly, moment by moment CHOICE to be healthy.
Fitness Minutes: (33,806)
2,135 2/23/13 11:05 P
Your post kind of reminds me of how I felt before I started Spark. I had previously lost apprx 50 lbs twice only to regain it back. At 49, I knew I needed to lose weight but honestly, I just didn't have it in me anymore to go through "dieting" once again. I was just so d-o-n-e! It got so I thought I'd just have to accept my size the way I was or, maybe, entertain thoughts of surgery. Anything but the dreaded diet!
Looking back, I think a big reason I was just so *done* w/ dieting was that when I had done it prior, it was just torture! And I regained the weight back in seemingly no time! So why go through all that again? What sane person would want that?
Flash forward to Sparks...and I am so glad I found this site. I drank in so much, and so appreciated the message boards and seeing what successful people did and what seemed to keep the tormented people stuck in a rut. I decided that I'd try to do what the successful people did....I finally *got* what people meant when they talked about "lifestyle vs diet." I finally accepted that losing weight is 80% nutrition and 20% exercise. I fully embraced vegetables, finding the ones I liked (no bare celery & carrot sticks - too "diet-y" to me!) and upped my fruit. I didn't shun any food group like I did before, but instead tried to learn moderation for if I was to make it succeed this time, it had to be livable, sane and doable for life (ah-ha! that's what they mean by "lifestyle!"). I got a digital food scale and am still learning portioning (man what an eye opener). As for the other scale, I decided to ditch that & go by clothing sizes - this was a huge blessing as I avoided all that scale drama.
I seemed to have found what works for me but if I hadn't have found Sparks and gave it another try, without question I wouldn't be where I am today.
I know what you mean by having doubts and being self conscience, but you simply must push those thoughts aside! Losing weight always starts first in the head - the body follows. And sometimes, you just have to do first, and the pride & motivation follows. You have every right to live your life well no matter what your size; if you just happen to be larger than you'd like right now, so be it. Times when I would look in the mirror and feel overwhelmed, I'd audibly tell myself, "I'm not where I want to be YET, but I'm getting there!" and take pride in the fact that I was indeed doing something constructive to better my health.
Then one foot in front of the other. Aim for progress, not perfection (perfection doesn't exist anyway). Something is always better than nothing.
Oh my, I have my old journals from forever - I was worried about how FAT I was when I was pregnant with my first son in 1967 on the day he was born they weighed me at the hospital and I was 163 pounds - a SHOCKING number but do remember that my son weighed 9 lbs 12 oz and had NOT yet been born. I was thin and sometimes skinny as a kid. At my peak weight, I once got up to about 360+ pounds the scale wouldn't tell me EXACT weight but somewhere over 360. I also do not KNOW how I got to where I was from where I started - in fact, part of my problem through my 20s and 30s was that I could easily drop 10-20 pounds by just making one or two small changes in my habits (drinking water instead of anything else, no chips, or whatever). My weight kept creeping up and up and up. When I left for Africa in the early 80s, I weighed about 180. The culture there was such that men admired BIG women and were forever commenting on why the white men starved their wives - everyone admired me as I started to gain weight - my husband was even offered money to sell me to others and the price was HIGH. I weighed about 250 when I came home. I have lost 50, 75, 100, and even 160 pounds and each time regained it. I am really working hard to KEEP IT REAL and be honest and realistic about this TIME. I still struggle and I still don't fully know how I got this big, but I do know that this time is different because THIS time I am learning to take care of my WHOLE body and mind and spirit, and to LOVE myself and to stop expecting to be perfect - I sure KNOW I AM NOT THAT. I stopped quitting and stopped fretting about minor bumps in the road. I have learned that it is a lifelong journey and I must wake up and make choices every day for the rest of my life and do it CONSCIOUSLY not mindlessly - I must recognize that for EVERY CHOICE THERE IS A CONSEQUENCE and some are positive and some are negative and it is MY CHOICE to make the healthier better choices.
Fitness Minutes: (21,115)
1,248 2/23/13 5:06 P
Threw out my old Weight Watchers journals the other day.
Age 40ish 1990's 180 pounds down to 160 Made my goal and glad that's over! Age 50ish 2000's 190 pounds down to 170 Made my goal and glad that's over! Age 60ish 2012 208 pounds...down 20 pounds since August, 2012 and heading for 155
Gee, I'm seeing a pattern. Maybe I've had the wrong goals. It can never be "over' again!
I have been thinking lately and going through old pidtures of me when I was younger, like between 19 and 21, I I now I am not old by most standards, when I look back at pictures I just wonder how I went being between 180 and 185 when younger to 230 right now, my highest ever was 260. Its a 40-50 difference that just kind of surprises me. I dont really remember or know how I got from there to where I am. It just bothers me in a way that I wonder what happened and am self-conscious, not near as much as I have been, but enough to feel akward around other significantly smaller people. I guess I know what I need to do, I just cant always find motivation and keep getting sidetracked by doubts, worries, and other parts of my life that keep me busy or stressful. Feeling like this is not just a unique weird stage would be helpful, maybe its just me or my stage in life.
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