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ANDI1984 SparkPoints: (13,581)
Fitness Minutes: (13,174)
Posts: 312
10/5/13 8:19 P

Flowergirl150 - Friends and family can be saboteurs without meaning to. Like Archimedes said, tell them that you appreciate the concern but that your weight is not a topic to be discussed. If they keep pushing, it may be time to hang up the phone, walk out of the room, or what have you. I know that can be difficult but you are doing what you can and if they can't see that then they have the problem, not you.

I started (again) my journey at 300 pounds. As you can see by my ticker I've only lost a little. But, everyday I weigh myself first thing in the morning (as per my dieta) and even though I may not see the number move or if it moves two-tenths of a pound, it's something positive. As long as you are setting small goals for yourself and are working to achieve them, whatever they may be, then you are doing amazing.

Try to find friends to be around who are supportive of who you are now and who you want to become. This site is a GREAT place to find those kinds of friends and many areas have their own spark teams so that you can meet up and exercise with people in your own town.

I just want to let you know that I have faith in you that you will achieve your goals! Feel free to message me if you'd like to chat or vent or anything else. I would love to help support you!

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JOYLJL Posts: 392
10/5/13 10:27 A

Have you ever watched the movie "Fat Sick and Nearly dead" by Joe Cross?

I watched it yesterday. It was a fascinating piece with some really great tips, that you and I could incorporate.
Check it out. It's free on this link

www.fatsickandnearlydead.com

ALLEYCAT12380 Posts: 625
10/4/13 9:51 P

Take one small step at a time. I started at 225 pounds, I just consintrated on losing 25 pounds or so at a time. Hopefully you think positively, and hopefully others will follow on how you are positive. It can be hard, we on spark are more than happy to be here for you when you need it. The gym is awesome, I've met really awesome people there, some are even customers of mine of where I work. I only met one a$$ there, haven't seen him since.

FLOWERGIRL150 SparkPoints: (9)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 3
10/1/13 8:26 P

Thanks Everyone for all the wonderful advice and caring thoughts. :) I especially appreciated seeing the tickers (I think that's what they are called?) showing how much weight everyone has lost, etc It was very inspiring. I will definitely try some of the ideas that all of you have suggested. (ie. creating a spark page, etc.) I also just joined a gym and am going to try working out (which I haven't done for quite a while) You are all so right when you said that I shouldn't worry what others are thinking / or saying and concentrate on getting healthy! I hope to do that. I will definitely get more involved with SP (I'm a newbie - in case that wasn't obvious - lol!) And I will keep everyone posted on how I'm doing at the Gym. There are some very kind people on SP; and I look forward to getting to know you all better! Take care!

MAMA_CD Posts: 1,498
9/29/13 7:03 P

At some point, in order to be healthy we have to go beyond what others think and others say to us, especially the negative stuff. Someone once said to me, we need to become like a duck and just let all those comments and life events just run off us like water off the back of a duck. As for your weight, just don't look at it, you know you're a great person, you just want to improve for you, and all of us can improve. You're the only one you can change, so you're the only one to focus on, the relatives may never change, whether you have excess weight or not. Perhaps they feel badly about themselves, for why else would they want to look at you? You do what is good for you, don't listen to the naysayers, you're worth investing in.

AMDODSON12 SparkPoints: (14,576)
Fitness Minutes: (9,059)
Posts: 585
9/29/13 5:55 P

One thing I did and still do is just look at it as two pounds at a time. For me the big weight loss number was/is like a mountain that was too scary to climb but when I told myself to loose two pounds it made all the difference. To me two pounds was/is achievable and not so scary. I wish you the best of luck on your journey!

ANGELCITYGAL SparkPoints: (28,360)
Fitness Minutes: (15,786)
Posts: 1,609
9/29/13 1:23 A

Others have given you some great advice.

You asked how to deal with the family members who constantly want to talk about weight and weight loss. If they are giving you advice, telling you what to do, etc., I would give them five minutes to get some ideas out (they may truly feel they are giving you love by giving you unsolicited advice!). Then say, "Okay, I will discuss this with my dietician," or "I will take that into consideration as I plan this week." In other words, let them feel they've given you something to think over.

You're of course under no obligation to do anything with it.

Then, change the subject. Have some things in mind to discuss. Current events, the local sports team, what to plant in your garden next year, an upcoming concert or art exhibition. Whatever it is, just change the subject of conversation and be prepared to discuss something else with them. If they bring the topic around again to weight, etc., get busy in another room. Just walk away. Don't stay there and be part of it. Find something that needs fixing in another room or go for a walk or remember that you have phone calls to make. In other words, you're training them that if they want to talk to you, they have to focus on something else. It will take a while, but they will get the idea.

You're under no obligation to be the topic of conversation or to suffer endless unwanted advice. But you will have to be proactive in taking care of yourself.

Edited by: ANGELCITYGAL at: 9/29/2013 (01:26)
DANCEMOM1970 SparkPoints: (25,872)
Fitness Minutes: (40,164)
Posts: 176
9/28/13 11:32 A

I was where you are for most of my adult life. I started putting on weight at about age 13 and kept it on for over 25 years (and kept adding to it) reaching at one point my highest non pregnant weight of 338 lbs. I felt like I was on a diet constantly and yet, I kept getting bigger and bigger.

In January of 2012, I had had enough and knew something had to change, and that had to start with my mindset. I needed to change my attitude about dieting and exercise. Previous to this, I hated exercise with a passion. It was a vicious cycle...I was in such bad physical shape that exercise was difficult and because of that, I never stuck with it long enough to make changes in my fitness. And to make matters worse, I kept putting on weight which made exercise even harder. So that January I decided that I knew how to "diet" but it was exercise that needed to be made a part of my life. So I started simply with aquafit 2-4 times a week and stuck with it for 7 months. I didn't change my eating habits during that time as I needed to focus on the exercise. By the end of 7 months I had finally, for the first time in my life, learned to love exercise and was ready to add an eating plan. I had used SP several times in the past with limited success (because of the lack of consistency in exercise) so I signed up again. This time with both parts of the puzzle in place, I am having long term success and I love how my life has changed. It is a process, and like others have said, it's not an "all or nothing" thing. That will doom you to failure as it did in every other attempt I've made. Start small and make the changes a part of your life, not a "punishment" for being overweight. It makes things so much easier. :-) Good luck!

APPRIL Posts: 2,238
9/25/13 4:27 P

It's all about creating a plan that will keep you healthy. There's no need to rush. There's no need to make drastic changes. Just make a plan and when people try to tell you what to do, just tell them it's not part of your dietitians plan for you. No need to mention that you are your own dietitian. Your current plan can be as simple as "Take a deep breath and enjoy the day".

Edited by: APPRIL at: 9/25/2013 (16:30)
IDEFYGRAVITY Posts: 172
9/19/13 5:03 P

First, I want to say that I sooo understand. I, too, started struggling with my weight when I was 8 years old. I hovered around 250 all of my 20's, tipped the scales at 299 when I was pregnant and leveled out at 275 in my 30's. When I stopped looking at all of my weight loss as this mountain that I couldn't climb, and started instead focusing on what I could do just to feel better in that moment (because I was miserable!) I finally started to lose. It was a side effect of getting healthy, not just in body but in mind. I have my blog link on my page with a lot of tips that might help you. I'm not selling a single thing. This is not an advertisement. My blog is just something I do in my spare time simply to help my clients and anyone else who is struggling. You CAN do this. Please do not feel helpless! Educate yourself. Learn to love yourself (even if you have to fake it til you make it). Get sleep. Oh and did I mention educating yourself?! Yeah, it's worth repeating twice. Education is HUGE for true lifestyle change. The more you understand everything from nutrition to the science behind change, the easier it is to do this! Good luck!!!!! And take heart. If I could do it, anyone can!

AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (59,957)
Fitness Minutes: (69,653)
Posts: 2,844
9/19/13 4:09 P

You need to learn to ignore what everybody else has to say and focus on what YOU need to do for yourself.

Good luck...it CAN be done!

KARATE_KID SparkPoints: (57,509)
Fitness Minutes: (74,005)
Posts: 1,546
9/17/13 1:32 A

Welcome to SP! You will certainly find lots of helpful articles and tools to help you reach your goals.

The most important thing is to realize you need to do this for yourself, not for your mother or co-workers or anybody else who feels they got a right to stick their noses into your business.

The second important thing is for you to get out of the "diet" mode. 300 pounds may seem overwhelming but with making small lifestyle changes over time you will see success, as have many others on this site. Take a look at the Fast Breaks for some initial ideas.

Emotional eating is a problem for lots of us, to a greater or lesser degree. There are some very good articles here, and as some others have said, you may want to consider some counselling.

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JASMINEMARS Posts: 133
9/16/13 11:23 P

Hi, Do you live at home with your parents? If so, maybe try to move toward having your own living space apart from them (house or apartment). If your family is affecting you negatively, maybe it is time to create some space from them. Also, there are ways you can discourage coworkers from talking to you about non-work matters. Try to get some distance from everyone who causes you pain to be around. It would be helpful for you to surround yourself with like minded people, like a support group.

WHOLENEWME79 Posts: 940
9/16/13 9:18 P

Congratulations on making the decision to join SP and get healthier! I hope you find this community as supportive and motivating as I have.

It sounds like your eating has an emotional trigger- Many people eat to cope with their emotions, it is common and there are sparkgroups dedicated to dealing with emotional eating.

That said, I would like to urge you to find a therapist or counselor that you can talk to about issues in your life. Having my psychologist help me learn coping skills has made a world of difference- I've lost weight, and I have found better ways of coping with my problems that eating a pizza (or a burrito, or fried chicken, or chinese food). Not that I do not slip up, but I find now I am so much better prepared to deal with emotional issues that turning to food just doesn't come up as often as it used to.

Best of luck!

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (131,717)
Fitness Minutes: (32,816)
Posts: 21,641
9/16/13 9:08 P

Hi FLOWERGIRL150 - unfortunately some times others, including family, can have a very negative effect on our emotional well-being and our physical. There is a book "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend which you can get from your library or Amazon. It teaches you how to create a boundary for situations such as this. It has a really good success rate!

Because of the family back-ground with obsession with weight, looks etc., and your own history of having dieted since you were 8, I think you would be advised to speak with your Dr about the issues and ask for a referral to a Therapist who deals with weight/eating issues. Often it is because of something in our backgrounds, and only when that is properly dealt with can we start moving on. If need be, your Dr can refer you to a Registered Dietitian, too, so that you get really good qualified input as it pertains to YOU and YOUR health.

Make sure that you read the articles on SP and read those success stories. Also, below is a link to a member's SparkPage. Indygirl has had wonderful success and is an inspiration to our Members. Read her blogs - they are soooo very good and many have photos for more emphasis.
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=~INDYGIR
L


Whatever you do, make sure that you start this journey with baby steps, changing one or two things to start with, and only when your mind/body has gotten used to the changes, add something else to the mix.

Good luck and take care!

Kris

PS - BTW - if you create a SparkPage and have it open so that other members can visit, you will find that you make a load of really good friends and get even more support.

K.



FLOWERGIRL150 SparkPoints: (9)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 3
9/16/13 1:42 P

Hi Archimedes, thanks so much for your warm welcome & encouragement. I'm hoping that being part of Spark People will help me to get motivated. I've tried reading some of the success stories for inspiration - and I will definitely try the suggestions that you have provided too. Congrats on running your marathon - and meeting your fitness goals. I can't wait until I'm " on the other side" and can reach out and encourage others.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (140,414)
Fitness Minutes: (210,300)
Posts: 20,727
9/16/13 12:46 P

FLOWERGIRL150,

Welcome to Spark People ! I give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction. Every little bit does make a difference.

Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. Remember, you're trying to change habits learned over a life time. That's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year. Change takes time. that's why SP encourages all its members to start with simple changes first. Set some simple goals. Example, if you're not eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. if you're not drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. If you're not exercising, don't try to do an hour a day, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieved these goals, then you set new ones.

As far as what to do with family or friends who are constantly hounding you about your weight, you politely thank them for their concern but let them know that you plan on losing weight on YOUR terms, not theirs. You tell them that losing weight is an individual process then change the subject. You tell them straight that your weight is NOT a topic of discussion.

You may have to say this multiple times to them. they may never even take the hint. that's why you can't let their comments get you down. if they won't support you, the SP community will support you.



FLOWERGIRL150 SparkPoints: (9)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 3
9/16/13 12:13 P

I am 45 years old and have been dieting since I was 8 years old. My family (mom in particular) are obsessed with weight, looks, and material things; and I'm really discouraged right now. I want to be a normal weight - and wish everyone would quit hounding me about my weight! (it doesn't help - it only makes me eat more) emoticon I'm hoping to get advice on how to deal with family members (in particular a mother & a coworker that talk "dieting, weight and food" constantly) Help?

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