toxic household?

Posts: 164
1/8/12 12:05 P

My toxic household is in the definition of dysfunctional. The very one that holds my weight against me is the very one that pushes me to binge with his "helpful" comments. How do I move from allowing those words to direct me to the very thing I do not want to do?

Posts: 178
1/8/12 11:33 A

I used to be in an identical situation, and when my boyfriend and I moved into our apartment when I turned 18 I found that his lightning fast metabolism and constant cravings for fried food were also a challenge, I just can't eat the way he does without gaining weight. It's something I fight to overcome everyday.

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1/7/12 5:29 P

Aw thank you, this really helps :)

I feel guilty for spending so little time with my family, but it's really just a miserable environment.

I like the idea about how, if I need to eat what everyone else is eating, to just cut my portions in half. I guess the trick is to remember that any step in the right direction is still a victory....

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1/7/12 5:15 P

Hi I read each blog and have a different way of thinking. No one can make you eat, talk, listen or react like the "dysfunctional family" they are. Spruce up the house with flowers, fragrances that are appealing and find ways of "tuning" them out. If you have to other choice but to eat their food, then cut your portions in half. Show them that eating less and choosing better, may make a difference in their lives. Have a good journey to great health.

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1/7/12 5:03 P

Living with my grandparents until I first moved out, the only food I was able to get is what my grandmother bought and cooked, which was mainly fast food, a lot of heavy carbs (breads, donuts, pasta, etc.), and basically TV dinners. Living with my boyfriend for awhile, he was the same way. I'm a pescatarian, so my boyfriend and I had a lot of conflicts when we went grocery shopping (I mainly ate greens and he ate meat).

I agree with the last person who gave you advice (which was excellent!) Do this all for yourself. My family has had issues and dysfunctions over the years, but once you know what makes YOU feel good on the inside, then everything else doesn't matter. Pay no mind to the tension, verbal abuse, and unresolved grief, because you know none of that is a part of you. If anything, feel PITY for them for the way they are so depressed! Think about how life is so beautiful and the effort you've put in to feel great. You more than deserve it and you darn well earned it! You know what makes you feel good and you especially know who you are as a person, so don't let others tear that down for you. To be a fighter in an evironment that is less than encouraging is a very strong willed thing to do as a person, and you should use that as a reinforcement that you ARE strong, you ARE going to get through it, and you ARE overall happy with your life! You deserve nothing but the best, don't take it all for less!

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1/7/12 4:36 P

There's an old saying, "every family is dysfunctional in its own way". I'm a lot older than you, and still struggling with my weight, so I'm certainly not an expert of any kind, but maybe some of the things that I've figured out might work for you as well.

The most important thing, is "do it for yourself". Put yourself first. Sorry if that sounds selfish, but if you aren't happy in yourself, you won't be able to help anyone else. If being around your family is too stressful, find ways not to spend as much time there. Can you get a summer job where you are going to college? I'm not saying that you shouldn't love your family, or that you shouldn't be kind to them, but don't let them drag you down. You can't solve their problems, but you can stop the pattern and not repeat those problems yourself.

You are very lucky that you are able to get a good education and that you are away at college. Take advantage of that opportunity and work very hard so that you can prepare yourself for a career that you will love. Make friends who really care about you, and support you in achieving your goals. If you don't already, consider attending a church where you feel comfortable, and where you can take part in a youth program. Help others. Read books and artaicles about people who have had problems but found ways to get past them.

Most of all, believe in yourself. You can make a life that will allow you to be close to your family, but able to see beyond their problems to what you want to achieve.

Gail

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1/7/12 4:00 P

Does anyone here struggle with trying to make major nutrition/fitness changes in a household where nobody else is interested in doing the same?

My household has a lot of problems [unresolved grief, depression, family tensions, emotional/verbal abuse, etc.] and, while I'm away at college most of the time [here on winter break until the 15th], I struggle when I come home. I actually broke down my freshmen year of college and had a three-day panic attack when I found out I had to go home for the summer.

Due to high anxiety/stress levels as well as some pretty lame digestive issues, I watch what I eat and exercise because I've found it helps, a lot. It's just difficult when I'm home because there's a whole lot of food and no physical activity. Trust me when I say this is not a situation where I can just sit my family down and have a heart-to-heart. I love my family, but for my own sake it has to be at arm's length.

I'm just wondering if there's anyone else who has had to fight for their health in an environment that was a tad less than encouraging....