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LUVS2WIN67 Posts: 1,060
4/21/11 1:27 P

I strongly recommend you two sit down and talk. You need to come up with a financial plan you are both happy with. Figuring in that one day your kids will come along (if you so choose) and money will have to be allocated to their needs too.
You husband, in my opinion, should not be scolding you if he is indulging in purchases as well.
You have to find a place where you are both happy. Trust me it can be done. My hubby and I have been together for 20 years, raised (raising) 4 kids and I was blessed to be a stay at home mom.
I controlled the finances and we pretty much kept things even. Small purchases we just bought but anything bigger (which would definitely be a $7 000 watch) we consulted with each other.
We were fortunate that because things were set in the very beginning of relationship, we have had very few arguements over money!

B-MIAMI SparkPoints: (839)
Fitness Minutes: (2,035)
Posts: 22
4/19/11 1:58 P

100 bucks a week... my god. i am spoiled. this has been such an eye-opener for me. thank you ladies...
i guess i need to find my own balance. I would never spend more than what i can but i really need to save. if everyone else can survive by differant means i can try to find a balance that works for me and my hubby...


GLITTER282000 Posts: 285
4/19/11 12:15 P

I feel so lucky.....when my husband and I got married he told me we should, between the two of us, have enough for bills, kids allowances, plus an allowance for me of $100/week or so. I about died of shock! $100 to do with what I pleased!?! No freaking way!

Before we got married I was a struggling single parent, and the thought of having even $100 a month to spend on whatever I wanted (instead of bills and necessitites) would have been pretty awesome.

I love the "allowance" I get. Well, I give it to myself because we do have joint accounts now. I actually give myself a bit more than $100 to help with fuel costs and I use that money for birthday presents, lunches, clothes shopping (if I save it up)...and whatever else I wish.

So maybe the budget/allowance thing would help you both? It's got to be difficult to go from spending freely to watching your money. But you can do it!

Best of luck. :)

B-MIAMI SparkPoints: (839)
Fitness Minutes: (2,035)
Posts: 22
4/18/11 12:16 P

lol... agreed seperate finances no arguments!
that's what we do and have done since we got married... but now we are trying to think about buying a house or maybe having a baby... and i just dont know how to start doing shared bank accounts ect. i have always made and spent my own keep...same w him... it's going to suck though :(

ALASKANSNOWHYTE Posts: 57
4/17/11 11:29 P

I think that its your money and you do what you want with it. If he doesnt like it, he can kiss your a**. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 years and we have no arguements because we dont share money. We split ALL household bills and then we spend our money on whatever we want. It has worked out perfectly!

B-MIAMI SparkPoints: (839)
Fitness Minutes: (2,035)
Posts: 22
4/16/11 5:57 P

Good advice ladies... I guess we are both extremely spoiled and we don't realize it... We both work hard and make good money and spend like crazy.... I guess sitting down together and setting up a budget and savings plan is the only way.... Thanks for listening and helping;) this is going to suck though...lol emoticon

RAZZLEBERRIES Posts: 268
4/16/11 1:55 A

Girl, I get $10 bucks a week for EVERYTHING. Because I have a horrible history of f'ing up our finances. I had to save up for a month just to buy some new shoes - and those were at Payless and my old shoes were literally falling apart!

But anyway....

If you do have enough money in your budget, then you should be allowed to spend it freely on whatever you desire. The question is...do you really have enough money? Like the other person said - sit down and write everything down on paper. Spark even has a site for this - sparksavings.com. Figure out how much money you REALLY have left over every month, and then set yourself a spending and savings goal.

We do the envelope system. We no longer use any form of credit or debit cards, and checks are only for paying bills via mail and nothing else. Everything we buy, we pay for with cold hard cash. And we set a budget for each category. Groceries - $300/month. Clothing - $30/month. Spending - $10/week. Etc., etc. When the envelope is empty, you stop spending.

Find a system that works for you, and explain it to your hubby. If he still criticizes you at that point...well, he's an idiot.

FITMOMMY18 Posts: 384
4/15/11 9:47 P

Well, you both are spoiled.

LOL

I think you have to make a financial plan - on paper! Look at what you make, open a savings account or investment account and start socking away. Also give yourself an allowance for 'shopping' for fun aside from essentials like food etc. Then if he gives you heck, you can show him that you've saved money and don't feel bad about challenging him as to what he's done with his money at that point.

emoticon

B-MIAMI SparkPoints: (839)
Fitness Minutes: (2,035)
Posts: 22
4/15/11 3:52 P

so my hubby and I are horrible savers... financially speaking.
i love fashion he loves electronics cars fine dining/wine... were european...lol
anyways, so everytime i buy anything. ANYTHING. even if it's not expensive he totally scolds me.
but i do not do say a word when he drops 7gs for a watch ect.
I work and only spend my own money and we still hold seperate bank accounts and we dont have kids.
(i know one day all of this will change, but i dont want to accept it.)
so today i went to macys and they had a shoe sale and i got 3 pairs of shoes i loved for 100 bucks and was on this happy /woo hoo /shopping high.
then i tell my hubby thinking im going to get dressed up for him and feel pretty and he scolds me.
a life without new pretty things and travel makes me super-depressed.
i focus so much to keep my 80 lbs off and look sexy that my shopping is my only indulgence...
i dont do the salon or gym any of those things i just run and do my own hair ect... so ladies gents any advice... :(
i had to vent.
lol


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