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reconnecting with husband



 
 
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ONEHAPPYBABY
Posts: 570
2/15/11 10:04 P

I agree that whatever issues were part of what caused you to cheat in the first place, are likely still there.
You need to deal with those.
It's rough, but you come out better for it on the other side. Hang in there!



ANDEENNATE
Posts: 393
2/14/11 4:36 P

best wishes for a difficult situation.



GETBACK2GOOD
Posts: 374
2/10/11 12:03 P

Well, I have to ask this, because I do not beat around the bush. If the reason that you cheated is because you felt that you were lacking a physical/emotional connection and you are still lacking that connection, obviously, then why did you stay in the marriage? Don't get me wrong, I do believe you fight until there is no fight left, I don't think you should just walk away from a marriage. So I say this, marriage counseling DEFINITELY. You need to get to the root of the problem that is still there, and if you tried to solve that once by cheating then why wouldn't you go in that direction again if you don't have a healthier outlet? Read the book, "After the affair" http://www.amazon.com/After-Affair-Healing
-Rebuilding-Unfaithful/dp/0060928174~This has come highly recommended from many of my friends who have been on both sides of it. You will get his perspective of how he feels. Communicate, be honest with him about your feelings. If you cannot do this, then a successful marriage is probably not in the works here. Good luck to you!



GETBACK2GOOD
Posts: 374
2/10/11 12:02 P

Well, I have to ask this, because I do not beat around the bush. If the reason that you cheated is because you felt that you were lacking a physical/emotional connection and you are still lacking that connection, obviously, then why did you stay in the marriage? Don't get me wrong, I do believe you fight until there is no fight left, I don't think you should just walk away from a marriage. So I say this, marriage counseling DEFINITELY. You need to get to the root of the problem that is still there, and if you tried to solve that once by cheating then why wouldn't you go in that direction again if you don't have a healthier outlet? Read the book, "After the affair" http://www.amazon.com/After-Affair-Healing
-Rebuilding-Unfaithful/dp/0060928174~This has come highly recommended from many of my friends who have been on both sides of it. You will get his perspective of how he feels. Communicate, be honest with him about your feelings. If you cannot do this, then a successful marriage is probably not in the works here. Good luck to you!



CHEL72
Posts: 3
2/9/11 8:45 P

ya know, i think women cheat because of something we are lacking in our relationship. and it's not about lack of sex. it's about the emotional connection and us needing to feel appreciated and wanted. and as women we need to have that emotional connection to even want to be physical for the most part. so, maybe more time connecting as a couple and being truely open with each other will have you feeling more connected to him in a physical way. it will take time.

Edited by: CHEL72 at: 2/10/2011 (06:25)


MILANMOM1969
Posts: 399
2/9/11 2:29 P

I have to agree, maybe a therapist could help? Or maybe reading the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" together? Or there is actually a video that John Grey did of a seminar on the book. I watched it with my hubby years ago, and it was really enlightening for both of us and started great conversations about how each of us saw the situation. Just a thought! Best wishes on this difficult part of your journey.
emoticon
Leslie



LUANN_IN_PA
Posts: 15,879
2/9/11 1:40 P

couples therapy?



BNHJAHBMH
Posts: 4
2/9/11 11:40 A

My husband and I have hit a very rough patch. It is mostly my fault. I cheated on him awhile back. We have moved passed it, but I am having a hard time reconnecting with him physically. I think a lot of it is to due with my feeling guilty for what I did. Any suggestions on how to move on?



 
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