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SIMPLELIFE2 Posts: 707
1/23/13 11:42 A

Negative self-talk definitely fuels binges and emotional eating. It sounds too simplistic, but changing the words you use, even in your own head, holds tremendous power. How often do you hear a person who has a healthy relationship with food describe themselves as good or bad because of what they ate?

Food is fuel and nutrition. You are neither good or bad, a success or a failure, because of what you ate. If you ate over your calories or made poor choices, just try to see if there is a reason behind it, what better strategies you can employ next time and then move on. Your next meal is your next chance to do better. I remember how I would let one poor choice control the rest of the day. "Oh, I've already blown it. Might as well eat more crap." It's even worse if you let it control a weekend or a week.

Now, if I really want something, I have it, try to limit my portion, and move on. I don't feel like I have to eat everything in sight as if it is my last meal. I can have whatever I want any time I really feel that nothing else will do. It's not one treat that made you gain weight. It's weeks of consuming too many calories. I savor every bite and do not feel guilty afterward or beat myself up. It's amazing how much this shift in thinking puts you in control. Over time, the desire for sweet treats, which was what I craved, kept getting farther between.

When that ugly place in your brain seems to have seized control, you just have to stop it in its tracks. Ask yourself if you would ever say these things to a loved one. If you wouldn't talk to someone else this way, why would you talk to yourself this say? It will be a conscious effort at first, but definitely gets easier.

NYPOPS Posts: 165
1/23/13 12:03 A

that is definitely true stardust. thanks so much. i really do beat myself up a lot about "failing" even though i know its almost inevitable at least the first time. Ill definitely work on the self-talk thing too! I did really great today though, so thats one day down!

STARDUST2K4 Posts: 1,376
1/21/13 2:30 P

I think maybe one of the most important things to get yourself back on the right track is to forgive yourself. Stop beating yourself up, and even more importantly, stop the negative self talk. Only you can provide the motivation for yourself, but if you think you're weak, or if you feel awful about your body, then why is it even worth your time let alone anyone else's?

Show yourself some compassion. I personally couldn't begin this journey until I dropped the negative self talk. I called myself a nasty pig, a fat B---, any negative things, you name it! I think at one point I truly hated myself for letting myself get to the point I was at.

Start by reminding yourself that you are in fact worth your time. No one else is going to care if you lose weight or not-I know all my family always says "You're fine, you don't need to change a thing". They won't like me any less if I do or don't! I had to realize that it was all up to me. No one else can be as motivated for myself as I am. Others aren't going to live with the results of my decisions, so why should they have to be responsible for my weight loss?

The second thing to do is remind yourself that you've done this once, so you can definitely do it again-no matter how frustrating it is to have to do so. Start small. Even if that wasn't your method before (which could be part of why you gained back the weight, if you were doing a quick fix), starting slow will give you a chance to adjust, and build healthy habits.

You can do it, but the motivation absolutely has to start with you.

NYPOPS Posts: 165
1/21/13 1:31 P

Thanks a lot guys. I'm trying and I have a problem with being all or nothing about how I do things. I have to try to make myself realize that it's not that way and I need to let go of what happened and just move forward.

MOM2TNB SparkPoints: (1,343)
Fitness Minutes: (2,036)
Posts: 31
1/21/13 12:36 P

Hello. I know exactly how you feel, although I didn't have years and this all just happened to me right away. We are roughly the same size and with roughly the same goals. If you would like, you can PM me. I think we are close in age as well. Hope to hear from you soon!


ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (188,375)
Fitness Minutes: (279,028)
Posts: 26,355
1/21/13 10:52 A


Don't beat yourself up because you've regained the weight. That is something that has happened to every single member of Spark at one time or another. You can't change the past, but you can influence and change the future. Start with some simple changes first. Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. Set some simple goals.

Example, if you're not eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. if you're not drinking your water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. If you're not exercising, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieved these goals, then you set new ones.

And that's how good health starts. it's not all or nothing. it's a few simple changes because one small change CAN change your life. Every little bit really does make a difference.

SP_COACH_NANCY SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
1/21/13 10:50 A


Have you tried joining some of the many SparkTeams we have on our site? You can also do a SparkBuddy search by going up to the SparkPages link (in the Community drop down menu tab at the top of the page). There you will find a SparkBuddy search option.

Coach Nancy

NYPOPS Posts: 165
1/21/13 2:24 A

A couple years ago i was doing really great and lost about 20 lbs on sparkpeople. I had a couple surgeries last summer and a really bad rest of the year last year (2011).
I didn't only fall off the wagon but i fell and rolled all the way back down the street to the beginning.
I gained back ALL of the weight i lost PLUS an extra 15 lbs and i feel disgusted with myself. I have attempted several times to get back on track and was doing well a couple weeks ago, but i just could not get my food intake under control sometimes.
Most of the time i dont have any problems with exercise, but i eat way too much and i eat the wrong things, even though i KNOW what i should actually be eating and how much of it.
I really need someone or a few people to help keep me in check and make me accountable, besides myself. I just feel awful about my body and i feel like such a weak person.
I would love some tips, and support, but more than that I would love for someone to actually be my spark buddy and keep me in check all the time.
I dont have any friends or family near me to help me with this, in fact theyre half the problem.
Thanks for hearing me out... hope to hear from someone soon.

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