Author: Sorting Last Post on Top Message:
LEC358 SparkPoints: (11,135)
Fitness Minutes: (6,555)
Posts: 2,744
10/23/13 4:47 P

I totally understand the whole thing about stains/rips/etc. Those are unacceptable in donated clothing (there's a whole other rant to be had about people who give potato chips to food pantries or homeless shelters but that's for another time).

And I know all about trying to be perfect for mom and I even made my prom dress so I would have exactly what I wanted (turns out boning is important in off the shoulder dresses).

I guess I've gotten cynical about the whole "princess culture" thing and seeing a site asking for donations making demands about the content of those donations just struck a nerve.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (194,605)
Fitness Minutes: (290,038)
Posts: 26,863
10/23/13 4:28 P


I'm sure if your dresses are a "classic" style, it doesn't matter when you bought them. Some dresses never go out of style. However, in my day (back in the Dark Ages), Scarlett O'Hara type dresses were as popular as adult evening gowns.

I've been going to my local Goodwill checking out Halloween costumes. Well, they have a huge rack of bridal/prom/evening gowns and yes, styles have changed dramatically over the years. So, I can understand why the sites would want something more current. I'm sure it's because many teens don't want to be seen wearing a dress that might be considered a handme down. Yet another reason they might not accept a gown with a stain.

Having a stain on your prom dress is as bad as having a zit on your forehead. Everyone is going to notice. At least, that's what we all thought when we were in school. We wanted everything to be perfect.

It really is like being a princess for an evening.

LEC358 SparkPoints: (11,135)
Fitness Minutes: (6,555)
Posts: 2,744
10/23/13 4:13 P

My high school had a fundraiser where if you sold $100 worth of goods, you comped your prom ticket which included dinner, dancing, and after party at a bowling alley (to try to keep kids from drinking and driving). I also seem to remember that the fundraisers for prom started as soon as our freshman class government was elected.

Side note: I checked out those links for donating formal dresses since I have a bunch that I bought in college for formal events and I was kind of off put at the emphasis on the dresses being "in style" aka bought after 2009 or so. Even before mentioning that the dresses shouldn't be ripped, stained, etc. What are they going to do, check catalogs?

Edited by: LEC358 at: 10/23/2013 (16:22)
MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,285
10/23/13 3:04 P

Can he participate in a fundraiser to help defray the cost of tickets? That's what we did at school. I know one of my friends got her tickets free.

I don't know about other schools, but my prom included dinner as well as a dance.

AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (74,443)
Posts: 3,293
10/23/13 1:59 P

There is no "should" here--this is something that the couple needs to work, you know, communicating with each other.

I'm pretty sure that $90 is one of the smallest expenses associated with prom.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (194,605)
Fitness Minutes: (290,038)
Posts: 26,863
10/23/13 12:06 P

Back in the good old days, proms used to be held in the high school gym. I don't know when the trend started, but today proms are held in fancy hotels. The fancier the hotel, the higher the price of the prom ticket.

I didn't go to my prom because I couldn't afford the price of the ticket, the dress, etc... Don't worry, I don't feel deprived. LOL.

But honestly, the amounts of money spent on the prom for tickets, dresses, tuxes, limos, etc... it's just outrageous. I know the prom is supposed to be your first formal engagement, but really it shouldn't have to cost so much. That's why I'm glad there are charities set up for girls who can't afford to pay full price for a prom dress or accessories.

Here are links to charities that can help parents/teens go to the prom. And I also encourage parents/teens of Spark members who have already gone to their prom to consider donating their dress if they aren't going to wear it ever again.

Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 10/23/2013 (16:20)
BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
Fitness Minutes: (82,255)
Posts: 2,954
10/23/13 11:58 A

Whomever does the asking!

Edited by: BLUENOSE63 at: 10/23/2013 (11:59)
JAMIRBLAZE Posts: 1,752
10/23/13 9:41 A

If I were the parent of a teenage girl, she would pay the ticket or the equivalent. One, $90 is too much to expect a teenage boy (who may or may not have parents who can help) to pay. Two, I wouldn't want my daughter to ever feel like she "owes" anything. I've had that pressure in the past for far less, so I wouldn't put her in a situation where that can happen (either externally or internally).

Yes, prom dresses, etc. can be expensive if one does not set limits or shop smartly, but she would have that whether she went with a date or with friends - as most of my friends did when we did prom. That burden shouldn't be shifted to the guy (who probably has to rent a tux, maybe buy shoes, etc.).

GRACE1054 Posts: 605
10/23/13 9:09 A

Whoever asks pays is exactly right. And whoever thinks the girl is getting off cheap these days hasn't bought a prom dress recently. Then there is the cost of the accessories, hair and nails. The pre-prom dinner should be split as should the cost of the limo.

SUNSET09 SparkPoints: (516,397)
Fitness Minutes: (159,172)
Posts: 128,704
10/23/13 6:41 A

Online Now  • ))
Whomever asks should purchase the tickets! emoticon

KAYAHSLOANE1 Posts: 10,436
10/23/13 4:35 A

When I went to a Prom the fella paid for the tickets and we drove in his car. I paid for my dress and the shoes. He paid for the dinner beforehand. I paid when we went to graduation night when we had the grad night party. It evened out in the long run~

MARYJ1959 SparkPoints: (11,385)
Fitness Minutes: (788)
Posts: 66
10/23/13 12:51 A

I think these days the parents are helping with the tickets for prom. Girls should not get off for free these days. It use to be the males bought the tickets and the girls parents bought her an expensive dress and accessories with thoughts of getting the girl married off when HS was over. Those days are long gone. Women are now earning as much as males and are starting to share in the expenses of dating which is probably fair with how expensive dating is now. Just to go to a movie and a nice dinner the cost is $50-75. My dtr (RN), who is 24, says she chips in while dating as she does not want the guy to feel she "owes him." If he pays for movie, she pays for treat. She feels very uncomfortable if they pay for everything. If he pays for dinner she insist on leaving the tip and dessert or drinks. My son (college student), 22, says if the girl offers to pay for something they can do more. The younger generation is much more comfortable with this arrangement.

JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (544,955)
Fitness Minutes: (338,927)
Posts: 15,227
10/22/13 11:46 P

The girl should pay for her own.

FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
10/22/13 11:22 P

@ladycjm hahahaha I know you imagine a whole wedding for 900 and it's lasted 25 yrs and some spend that on prom, I know my wedding wasn't a lot either and we've been together for 19 yrs we're blessed! I thought it was cute that you said you only paid 900 for your wedding.
Some spend millions and only make it 72 days ...
Thanks to everyone that responded I was curious as son will be going to Junior Prom next year and when I was in high school I wasn't allowed to date so I just didn't know the answer.

--MEOW-- Posts: 4,365
10/22/13 11:14 P

Yes, I think he should buy her ticket...

LADYCJM SparkPoints: (57,456)
Fitness Minutes: (36,342)
Posts: 2,545
10/22/13 10:14 P

Prom costs are totally ridiculous! 90$ for a dance, more money for dinner, hundreds on a dress, renting a tux, rent a limo...geez!

Now a days, I guess the one who pays is the one who can afford the cost! I've read of people spending a thousand or more on prom night. My wedding only cost 900$ and it's lasted 25 years!

MISSJANE55 SparkPoints: (42,272)
Fitness Minutes: (32,050)
Posts: 1,252
10/22/13 8:52 P

the guy.

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,285
10/22/13 8:39 P

If a guy asks a girl he buys her ticket.

I went with a guy that didn't go to my school and I asked him. So I bought his ticket.

FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
10/22/13 7:54 P

I'm just wondering if a boy asks a girl to a prom if he pays for her ticket also? I know the prom tickets are 90 dollars each, so I'm curious to know if the girl pays for her own or not... thanks!

Page: 1 of (1)  

Other SparkPeople Cafe Topics:

Topics: Last Post:
My signifigant other does not ... 8/17/2016 2:55:55 PM
Would you do it? 4/11/2016 1:02:29 AM
Has this ever happened to you? 5/3/2016 11:37:29 PM
gardening 11/3/2016 6:25:03 AM
Do close ones near to you sabotage your efforts? 2/29/2016 10:51:32 AM