It must be really frustrating to feel like you're now having to solve a problem that was created without any input from you. If you're finding that you're holding a grudge, I would definitely suggest having a discussion with your husband so that he understands how his decision made you feel and you can move forward.
As far as coping with the new situation, I think you've got a great set of preliminary ideas! Something that was really helpful to my husband and I was being really honest about our spending and our budget priorities. We read the Total Money Makeover by Dame Ramsey, which presented us with an interesting perspective on budgeting and debt management.
Establishing a cash flow budget to clearly define what you're going to spend and when (so that you can make sure your income at that point in the month will cover it) can be really useful. We use the envelope system (look it up if you haven't heard of it, it's been a life saver!) and even though I'm a full time graduate student and we're living on his income alone, we're finding ways to pay off student loans and plan for our future.
Communication and collaboration between you and your husband will be key to adjusting to the new situation. Good luck!
Vanessa, St. Louis, MO
Because I'm worth it!
Fitness Minutes: (235,700)
1/25/14 3:51 P
It's never easy to take a pay cut, but I suspect the reason your husband may have decided to step down is because the job was making him nuts. Was this a particularly stressful job ? Was he under a lot of pressure to make certain numbers ? If so, then I can understand why his motives. It may be your husband did this to save your relationship. If the job was so bad that he was taking it out on you, that's not good.
These are just speculations on my part. Why didn't he consult you ? I don't know, he should have, but let me ask you this. If you told you that job was so bad it was making him physically sick, would you have told him to keep it just to have that extra $500 ? Maybe that's why he didn't tell you. Maybe he was worried that you'd make him keep the job.
Once again, I'm just guessing.
What to do ? Well, what did you do when your hubby make less money ? If you've been married for a very long time, then you've probably had your financial ups and downs like everyone else. What did you do during the lean times ?
Cutting cable is one great way to save money. Most new TVs are HD and will pick up local stations. I don't have cable. I refuse to pay for TV. If you want to see movies, that's not a problem. Go to your local library. Your library is not only a great resource for books, you can borrow DVDs too. So, if you want to see a movie, borrow it from the library. that will save you money.
Clip coupons. I use manufacturer's coupons all the time. When I go to the store, I look to see what is on sale. If there is something I use, I stock up.
There are lots of ways you can save money and not feel deprived. I was laid off in 2012. It took me nine months to find my current job. I made do without a lot of things, but you know what ? I discovered that most of those things I really didn't need.
Fitness Minutes: (34,775)
22,887 1/24/14 11:28 P
I think that sometimes we really need to reassess where we are in our lives. Sometimes the stress etc. of the extra pay is NOT worth it. I DO agree tho' that it can be really difficult, but if you get to with pen and paper, and write down a list of everything that you spend your money on, you WILL find many ways that you can shave some money off your normal expenditure.
I note the cutting the cable, comment. I ended up cutting off my regular daily newspaper, and my magazines. If a few things needed doing but it meant going out in the car, as much as possible I put it all on to one day, so only one lot of fuel was used. Bulk cooking is another great way to help shave costs, because there is only one lot of power/gas and cleaning up. It also helps to take advantage of really good meat/vege specials, and bulk out the meat portion of the meal with lentils, split peas and veges (in casseroles). There have been times when my hubby and I have soup for dinner, 5 nights in the week. I had a variety of them in the freezer, and they were well balanced re protein etc. I generally puree them and make them really thick, because they are a lot more filling that way. Having them with a piece of good quality, wholegrain toast and they make a very healthy and cheap meal. Because of the variety of kinds/spices used, they never seemed like the 'same old, same old' all the time. Sometimes I would cook up some skinless chicken drumsticks and we would have one each with the soup.
I am MORE than sure that you will get through this. Good luck, Kris
I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan
Fitness Minutes: (6,555)
1/24/14 8:34 A
w0w you are handling this a lot better than I would. It's one thing for one half of a couple to make a major decision when finances are not combined but when you're married and everything is "yours, mine, ours"? If my BF pulled something like that I'd go through the roof.
All that being said, make sure the plan for readjusting the family budget is coming from both you AND your husband. He made the decision, he is responsible for figuring out how to deal with the consequences, not just you. Best of luck!
Fitness Minutes: (1,256)
687 1/24/14 7:29 A
I think its wonderful you both are willing to pitch in to bring in more income. And although you are frustrated at the situation, i'm glad you are being supportive of your husband. Its ok to feel nervous, being financially secure is very important. I'm sure he realizes its a sacrifice on both your parts (financially) for him to reach his dream, but money doesnt buy happiness. Hopefully with time you will be able to cut back, we live in a society where we have alot of 'wants' and have all our 'needs'. Its a big adjustment at first, but try writting out a list of your wants and needs, where can you cut spending. Have you tried talking to him about running these important decisions past you? Its hard at first, even scary, but with time you will be able to enjoy your happier husband! I know alot of people who have found peace and happiness BY cutting down, hopefully you will find that too Good luck!
1/24/14 5:19 A
My husband chose to take a lesser paying job at work and now taking a $500 a month pay cut without consulting me first to chase a dream. I'm just nervous I guess about this and frustrated. I have a plan to call my student loan and mortgage banks and work out lower payments, cut off the cable, pick up extra hours, and cut as much as I can. He's offering to pick up hours but I know it'll end up him being unhappy and taking it out on me.
I'm looking for another job or even like a part time job I can do from home would be awesome.
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