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need some advice please



 
 
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AZULVIOLETA6
SparkPoints: (55,317)
Fitness Minutes: (66,078)
Posts: 2,697
12/16/12 9:33 P

Oh Fitmarti, by lying about allergies, you are creating a dangerous situation for those of us who DO have legitimate allergies and dangerous reactions to food and food additives.

Just.say.no.



LJBKENT
SparkPoints: (78,313)
Fitness Minutes: (80,045)
Posts: 1,981
12/16/12 1:55 P

I agree with the last post. Great ideas!!



IVYLASS
SparkPoints: (113,477)
Fitness Minutes: (35,314)
Posts: 6,524
12/16/12 1:42 P

Learning how to eat in social situations is a skill we must all learn. I've found if you can put them off, they tend to lose interest.

Arm yourself with these catchphrases:

"Looks wonderful...let me just refill my water and I'll get some," (then of course, don't get any.)
"I had some already...it was delicious!"
"Last time I had (whatever) I had a bad reaction, so I'm trying to steer clear."
"I am saving room for dessert."
"Truly, I cannot eat another bite. Let me take some home for later."




GBSLIM
SparkPoints: (55,152)
Fitness Minutes: (33,838)
Posts: 3,223
12/16/12 1:30 P

I have used the approach that FITMARTI suggested and it does work.
Congrats on your up coming wedding. What a wonderful Christmas gift.
I wish you many Happy years together.



FITMARTI
SparkPoints: (19,785)
Fitness Minutes: (37,083)
Posts: 376
12/16/12 1:06 P

You might think I am wrong with this answer.....but it works for me.

I tell people I am allergic to those high cal foods they offer. Very few ask about the specific allergy, but when they do...I tell them it makes me break out in fat! We laugh about it and they rarely ask me to eat those foods again.

It is, to me, a lighter way to handle the situation.

Just my approach - feel free to try it

emoticon emoticon



NIRERIN
Posts: 11,809
12/16/12 12:57 P

to be honest, "no thank you" or "no thank you i am full" are all you need. just like if you excuse yourself from the table you say that you "need to use the restroom" not a more graphic detail of what you actually do in there, "no thanks" or "i'm not hungry" should be sufficient. if you start saying you're trying to lose weight or you don't want to binge, you're introducing the topic that you don't want to talk about. if you just say that you are full, someone will probably make sure you are and that's the end of the discussion.



AM_MORRIS87
Posts: 703
12/16/12 11:24 A

The bottom line is that YOU are in charge of your body. Nobody can make you eat anything you don't want to. Don't be embarassed, don't feel guilty. You're exactly right, ONE latke won't kill you. But for some people, it CAN trigger cravings that will make you miserable for a week. (Like me!) If I eat one chocolate chip cookie, or a few McDonalds french fries, it (no joke) takes me one whole week to get back on track!

I don't run into the problem so much anymore, because believe it or not, most people do eventually get use to you always saying no, lol. But earlier in my journey people use to alllllllllllways do that to me.
"Oh Amanda, one cookie won't kill ya!"
"Oh, just come out to dinner! One meal won't kill ya!"
"You can't even eat one brownie? Not even taste it?? It won't kill ya!"

To some people I would take the time to explain how it would effect my mind/body, and how it would cause cravings, etc. I would also explain that I don't eat foods where I can't track the nutritional information. And people generally will understand that. But other people who I didn't know as well, or didn't feel like I owed an explaination to, I would just say, "No thanks." If they really didn't get it, or kept pushing, I would say "I know, I know it looks really good. But I just don't eat stuff like that. Sorry." And usually they would drop it.

Change the subject, make it a joke, lie and say you just ate, walk away, do whatever you have to do- Just DON'T CAVE IN. You're being strong, and conditioning your willpower. You're making the right choices for your body, your life, and your goals. That is nothing to apologize for!

Edited by: AM_MORRIS87 at: 12/16/2012 (11:33)


THOMASINA57
Posts: 798
12/16/12 11:09 A

My family have some big eaters and when all together, I just eat what I need and say I'm not hungry.. If they get too pushy, I just keep declining and they get the message.. In my mind I'm thinking of an old country song.. What part of NO don't you understand!



LOUNMOUN
Posts: 1,250
12/14/12 5:32 P

Well just say "No thank you."

If they push food on you after you decline then they are being rude and you don't have to explain. Just keep saying no and change the subject.




AZULVIOLETA6
SparkPoints: (55,317)
Fitness Minutes: (66,078)
Posts: 2,697
12/14/12 5:07 P

"No thank you, I am on a diet."

You really don't need any more explanation than that. Nobody can FORCE you to put it in your mouth.



KNUCKLES145
Posts: 13,230
12/14/12 4:02 P

my weight watchers leaded suggested "not right now, maybe later" and leave it at that.



ANARIE
Posts: 12,387
12/14/12 3:30 P

Never get into a discussion of why you're choosing not to eat something. "No, thank you," or "That looks lovely, but I can't today," should be more than enough. If you say, "I can't; I'm trying to lose weight," the other person feels obligated to say, "Oh, you don't need to lose weight. You look fantastic." Think about it-- If you say, "I can't; I'm trying to lose weight" and I respond with, "Oh, right. I understand," and put the food away.... aren't I agreeing that you're fat? The person offering the food HAS to argue with you in order to be polite. If you just say, "No, thank you," then you're letting me off the hook. There's no argument for that.





LUANN_IN_PA
Posts: 15,951
12/14/12 3:21 P

"what are polite responses that makes a point!"

No, thank you!


And mean it when you say it.



MEWHENRYSMAMA
Posts: 5,906
12/14/12 2:58 P

Hi Sweetie,
I am not even reading the other responses just going to say what I think! I do think there are many "food pushers" out there and holiday time they are worse! You have a wedding coming up and need to feel good that day...so just say"oh, no! I am getting married soon and my dress must fit!"...end of story...any further discussion should just be a "no thank you"!!! you owe no one more explanation! Congrats on your up coming nuptials! I wish you a happy beautiful day and life together! emoticon emoticon



I_HEART_MY_FAM
Posts: 1,809
12/14/12 12:06 P

Handle it with dignity, refrain nicely but never get mad at those who offer unless they are too pushy. I ask this way "would you like" and say whatever is in my hand, if they say no thank you. I ask "are you sure", sometimes I add "they sure are good", because face it some people turn down things down when they look foreign to them. When told no again I tell them where they will be in case they change their mind and leave it at that. If I am considered pushy then tough don't come to my home anymore. I am kind,I am giving, and I am a cook/baker and hostess when at my house.



CJMODISETTE
Posts: 126
12/14/12 11:59 A

Most people shouldn't be eating the treats that are around this time of year - and they know it. When you decline they feel guilty that they are indulging. This is their problem, not yours.

I am definitely not known for having tact, but I will give this one a go:
"I really am not hungry right now."
"Thank you." Then walk on by.
"That does look yummy!" Then walk away.

I don't see any reason why anyone other than your close friends need a detailed explanation of why you don't want to eat their high calorie treats.



MONIMOVINIT
SparkPoints: (14,737)
Fitness Minutes: (8,236)
Posts: 38
12/14/12 11:32 A

Thanks for all the responses I said all that, its my choice im struggling and im getting married... I just have to get over sarcasm and taking it personally. I have to mentally strong person here! Thanks agaim



QUEENREAP12409
SparkPoints: (3,440)
Fitness Minutes: (876)
Posts: 108
12/14/12 11:17 A

I would mention that your wedding is in just a few weeks, and you want to make sure you look your greatest on your wedding day.

Just a side note, but I truly don't understand people's unyielding interest with what you or I eat over the holidays. It reminds of not drinking at a party and having THAT person get upset because I'm bringing them down. The mind boggles.



KAITLYNN51
Posts: 762
12/14/12 10:47 A

I always say to food pushers, "I'm sorry but I'm really trying to lose weight, I know you know how difficult that is and it's best for me if I stick to my eating plan." I let it go at that and move on. By telling someone they know how difficult it is to lose weight (which most people can relate to) it makes it hard for them to disagree or continue to push the food. If the person doesn't or never had weight issues they still likely know someone who has and knows it is a difficult process to lose or maintain weight. If the person cares about your feelings they won't continue to push the food on you. Check the articles on Sparkpeople I believe that's where I read about "food pushers"!!!!



FIRECOM
SparkPoints: (107,673)
Fitness Minutes: (11,796)
Posts: 5,855
12/14/12 10:44 A

Ah, that ugly "peer pressure" syndrome. A very difficult situation to be sure. I agree that "just one" can lead to a binging session.

I find that if I would politely say that with my wedding coming up and I am sure you understand that that is my absolute top priority so thanks but no thanks. I cant imagine this not working. What doesn't work are excuses or statements that are not based on truth.

The truth will set you free.



MONIMOVINIT
SparkPoints: (14,737)
Fitness Minutes: (8,236)
Posts: 38
12/14/12 10:37 A

Hello! and Happy Holidays!

So I have been running into a problem lately, I feel that people have been pushing food on me especially with the holidays but I happen to be getting married December 22nd so I have been extra careful about what I eat. I know that one potato latke wont kill me but here is my issue... I just started to lose weight, I did not lose as much as I wanted for the wedding and its part because my will power comes and goes. SO I KNOW that one potato latke wont hurt but I am afraid it will trigger cravings and I will binge eat. so what do i say? "for normal people its ok but for binge eaters its not" I am embarrassed and feel bad enough i have to miss out let alone explain myself... what are polite responses that makes a point!



 
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