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JIBBIE49 Posts: 64,054
1/17/13 7:06 P

My mother smoked and I swore I'd never be addicted to anything. She died from a heart attack at 58. I'm 63 and certainly glad I never smoked. emoticon

1/17/13 10:52 A

Here i am, I'm Anita,

I don't really expect anyone to read this but me so I'm going to be as honest with myself as i can. I'm 5' 2" and 172.3 lbs. I hate excersize and i'm a smoker. I started Kung Fu with my husband and step son and my 5 year old son about 4 months ago. I'm actually not that bad at it considering i'm terribly uncoordinated and was that 'last picked' person in school. I wasn't picked last because i was fat as i wasn't fat then, just sucked at all sports. It hurt then but i'm ok with it now. I've been on a purchased program where you had to go in 3 times a week and i did lose 45 lbs then over 9 months (was 204) at one point. I got down to 155 and stopped the program as i felt i could do it myself. Well that was a bust. It took me 4 years to put back on 28 lbs and i actually fell that wasn't a terrible fast rise.

My huband will gain and do his bizarro version of Atkins and lose a ton of weight and in a few months put it all + back on. He recently decided to do this again and with the hopes of helping him do it healthier i tried it as well. YUCK i hate it! i did drop 6 lbs in 3 weeks and then nothing else for a week. Well i'm done with that. I'm back to sparkpeople and will try calorie counting AGAIN. Sigh! Since i've had my first sugar today i'm actually feeling icky but i'm certain it will mellow out.

Oh yeah, forgot to mention, i had a heart attack at 37 right after the birth of my son (3 days after). Turns out it was likely more to do with the pregnancy rather than weight but is still a factor. Yes, i shouldn't smoke and shouldn't be overweight. The smoking is not because i'm stupid, i'm an addict. Addicts are stupid in they do addict behavior. I certainly wish there was in inpatient program for smokers like there is for alcoholics as i may need to be locked up to quit.

Rambling? yes. but rambling is still expression.

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