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how would you feel?...



 
 
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LIZZIE723
Posts: 184
4/3/11 7:04 P

I agree with everyone who said it's best not to say anything. However, why not try to get to know her and strike up some conversation? You two could even become workout buddies, which is a great way for both of you to stay motivated.



KTC0900
SparkPoints: (20,503)
Fitness Minutes: (16,277)
Posts: 1,280
4/3/11 6:55 P

ditto



AHURD80
Posts: 2,665
4/3/11 5:27 P

I agree with PANDAS10 I wouldn't say anything. She's right hard enough to be at the gym mentally no matter what your size or what size you FEEL.

Unless you start a friendly conversation and the person is open and wants to talk to you then maybe after a few conversations say something but otherwise I would leave it alone.



PANDAS10
SparkPoints: (16,934)
Fitness Minutes: (15,393)
Posts: 408
4/3/11 4:13 P

I could be the huge woman at the gym that you are talking about. . . At 6ft tall and 335lbs, I'm hard not to notice, and the treadmill sometimes squeaks in protest when I walk on it.
If anyone approached me at the gym (for anything other than friendly conversation) to give me encouragement, I'd think that they are out of their mind. And I'd feel embarrassed.
It's hard enough (mentally)to be at the gym when you're fat; I'd prefer to just blend in and be allowed to get my workout done, just like everyone else.
I'm sure that woman would feel very similar.

Edited by: PANDAS10 at: 4/3/2011 (16:14)


NICK3RD
Posts: 4,929
4/3/11 11:50 A

Excited and scared



KARAMOM247
SparkPoints: (764)
Fitness Minutes: (1,745)
Posts: 33
4/3/11 11:29 A

I definitely wouldn't say anything other than hello. If I were her and someone came up to me like that, I'd likely leave the gym in tears.



YANSKA
Posts: 1,716
3/31/11 8:33 A

Say "good morning" or "good afternoon" just like you to to anyone else. If you both go long enough you'll keep seeing each other and perhaps run in to each other in the locker room where you might be able to strike up a convo about something or other. I wouldn't bum rush her with a wave of congrats - it's a sweet thought but it could fall flat. Don't go out of your way to make her feel good or better - you are, perhaps, imagining that she needs your support. Just be personable and cool and treat her like any other fellow gym rat. :)



SEJULY
Posts: 294
3/30/11 7:25 P

I just smile and say hi just like I do with everyone else. I just keep my comments to myself until they get a little more comfortable and indicate they want to talk about working out, what kind of program I follow (usually the trainer points me out to them and says "talk to her about what kind of shape she was in where she started here")



NICKI80241
SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (978)
Posts: 7
3/30/11 6:00 P

I believe the proper thing to do is to treat her like anyone else...maybe say hello and make small talk - it will be easier for her to continue to go to the gym if she feels like she has friends there.



KISSFAN1
Posts: 6,256
3/30/11 5:56 P

I agree as well that I wouldn't congratulate her, I'd just smile and say hello and leave it at that.



MRS_4EVER_AFTER
SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (7,898)
Posts: 2,812
3/30/11 5:21 P

I would say Hi or Smile, but leave it at that. Good Intentions don't always work out as you would hope.



ZANBALL
Posts: 519
3/30/11 4:41 P

Make a plan:
Day 1: Smile at her
Day 2: Smile and nod
Day 3: Smile, nod & wave
Day 4: Smile, nod, wave & say "hi" - repeat for a couple days
Next day: After you say "hi" say something nice like, "nice day, huh?" - repeat a couple of days
Next day: Say, "wow, you really inspire me. I think it's awesome we're both so dedicated, huh?"
That'll break the ice and then once you know her a little, you can get more encouraging stuff in.

Edited by: ZANBALL at: 3/30/2011 (16:44)


1TRULYBLESSED
SparkPoints: (55,735)
Fitness Minutes: (52,380)
Posts: 3,604
3/30/11 4:40 P

I know what you mean; I feel the same way about an elderly woman who comes into the gym on her walker and does the circuit with the machines! However, I have to agree with the others...best to just be friendly, lest she take any encouraging comments you make as being patronizing or condescending. It's sweet of you to want to complement her, though!



ROBIN4789
Posts: 6
3/30/11 4:33 P

I know you mean well, but I would just keep your comments to yourself... I agree with the other girls...



IVYLASS
SparkPoints: (112,906)
Fitness Minutes: (35,134)
Posts: 6,520
3/30/11 3:19 P

I would just smile and nod at her. She's probably a bit self conscious, so I don't know that I would say anything.



JAYDEEMARIE
Posts: 652
3/30/11 3:15 P

Personally, being a really large woman, I would prefer if people would just act like I am accepted there and not like I need the encouragement. If you want to talk to her just talk, ask her questions if you have any about the equipment or how long she has been working on something to get to the level she is at. Don't patronize though because if you make a big deal over the fact she is doing 3 sit ups and she just started yesterday she will see right through you . I have returned to gyms because of the happy & friendly people more times than when people act like I am accomplishing something they didn't think I could. Good Luck



BERRY4
SparkPoints: (135,559)
Fitness Minutes: (85,813)
Posts: 6,807
3/30/11 3:04 P

At the gym when I go, there is this huge woman who keeps coming and working out. I would like to be an encourager to her to the effect of: "Way to go!" or "Way to keep showing up & working at it."

I don't want to be offensive in any way. I think it is easier to encourage someone here on Sparks in "virtual" world, rather than face-to-face with a stranger.

ideas?? suggestions??



 
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