I think ignoring the person is best if you can't say something nice. You could say (with a smile), "It sure seems that way! I like to bring things to be comfortable and keep myself occupied during the 4 hours I am sitting around for my dialysis treatments. Trying to make the best of things I guess. Have a nice day!"
I'm glad you let it go. I'm wondering if the older gentlemen was also getting dialysis? At any rate, you never know what the other person is going through and what kind of day they're having. When someone makes a comment to me that bothers me I try to look at why it bothered me so much. Sometimes, there within lies your answer.
Fitness Minutes: (61,433)
5/19/14 1:41 A
My mother in law is like this, she constantly makes passive aggressive comments at me and my husband and plays the victim when she is confronted. He was trying to get a rise out of you, so the fact that you didn't dignify what he said by making remarks shows you're the better person. I don't see my mother in law often and after spending all day Saturday with her I understand exactly how you feel. It was only a silly remark, I would let it go,
I have a colleague who makes little comments like that to me - about clothes, how I look, or even about how many bags I am carrying too! What I noticed is that it's her way of trying to start a conversation. It's completely awkward, a wee bit rude, and leaves me feeling like: WTH? Over the many months I just have ignored her and "reward" her with my conversation and attention when she says hi to me instead of a comment.
Your situation is a bit different of course, but I think the advice of the previous post "Just smile and move on" is really good. You should be proud of yourself being organized and ready for what you need to do!
Fitness Minutes: (268,240)
9,981 5/19/14 12:56 A
Just smile and move on.
Fitness Minutes: (143,323)
10,887 5/18/14 11:33 P
Ignore him. Maybe he thought he was being funny
Fitness Minutes: (247,435)
5/18/14 3:54 P
Some times, people can be idiots. I get sarcastic remarks from my co-workers all the time. I just respond with a witty reply. LOL !
Nah, there's no reason to tell the old guy off. He may have been genuinely wondering why you needed to carry so many bags that day. His remark was pretty harmless.
However, the next time someone asks you if you're carrying your house in your bags, you merely reply,"It seems like a lot, but I prefer being prepared".
Fitness Minutes: (5,698)
5/18/14 3:48 P
He's probably just bored & looking for some conversation.
Whether he was trying to be nice or not, I deal with these kinds of remarks in the same way - sarcasm. Much like Faith suggested, I would have said "Hmmm, not everything, no. I think I left some things behind. Yes, definitely, now I think about it, I definitely have more stuff than this in my house. I must have forgotten a lot of stuff. Maybe I should go home and get the rest. What do you think?"
"now I m thinking maybe I should have told him off."
Why? Is there any way on Earth that telling him off could have possibly made anything better for anyone? It doesn't really matter whether he was trying to provoke you or just trying to make conversation; either way, telling him off wouldn't have helped anybody. You would have made him feel bad, made yourself feel mean, and made anyone else who overheard it feel sad or uncomfortable.
What he said was silly, but it doesn't seem mean to other people. What was it about the remark that bothered you so much? If you can find an answer to that question, understanding your own feelings will probably help you feel better-- much more so than telling him off would do.
I agree with Faith. Humor is the key to unlock discomfort most of the time. I couldn't live without it You didn't say if he was there for dialysis or there waiting on a loved one. And, though I didn't hear his tone, I'd bet that was his way of joking to start up a conversation. It would be cumbersome to bring all that stuff, but I'd venture to say that you are the most comfortable and entertained of all there.
Fitness Minutes: (203,115)
13,985 5/16/14 8:48 A
I, too, am with Faith on this one. He was probably just trying to be nice, funny, or pass the time.
Fitness Minutes: (1,256)
749 5/16/14 7:25 A
I agree with FAITH here, I dont think he was trying to be mean or nasty, he might not even realize what he said rubbed you the wrong way. Ofcourse we were not there so maybe the way he said it did come off as rude. Making a joke out of his comment is the best way to deal with it, and i'm sure he would have gotten a laugh as well. Your smart for bringing all that stuff with you, your prepared and thinking ahead =)
5/16/14 6:45 A
He's probably not an annoying old man at all. He probably just wants to chat as he too probably has a long time to while away but didn't have the forethought to bring things to do like you did.
I would probably try to find something witty/silly/amusing to say in response. 'yes, I love it so much here I thought I'd move in,' Or 'No, I couldn't carry all of it so I'm bringing the kitchen sink next time I come.'
Why get all in a tizz about an old man's attempt to be friendly, funny, ease the boredom or whatever he's trying to do?
I'm glad you didn't tell him off though, because almost certainly he meant no harm.
Edited by: FAITHP44 at: 5/16/2014 (06:47)
5/16/14 6:38 A
I'd just ignore the comment. No response IS a response, all by itself. Basically it says, your comment was so stupid that I won't even dignify it with a reply.
I usually carry 3 bags to my dialysis treatments. A big bag containing my pillow, blanket, food, water and slippers (i wear outdoor slippers when i come, the slippers in this bag are the indoor slippers, they have a thing abt hygeine here). A flat bag containing my samsung tab, and whatever else i need to while away the 4 hours. And a smaller paper bag containing my needlework that i do while waiting for my turn.
It's not that much and it's not heavy but this annoying old man remarked : "are you bringing your entire house with you?". This really annoyed me but i just ignored him but now I m thinking maybe I should have told him off. Why can't ppl mind their own business?
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.