thank you for sharing this!! i am sure your experience WILL help someone else!
8/14/12 7:44 A
Our lives change in an instant - what a story! I'm glad that you made it through all of it and I pray that you are feeling better with each passing day. God is Awesome and He is Always waiting for us to ask for His Help, Comfort & Strength! Hold onto the Rock!!
Fitness Minutes: (3,086)
267 8/12/12 10:06 A
Thank you all! I really want more people to know that it is easy to fall into taking the medication because you truly need it! I just want to make sure that the word is out there! If I as an ER nurse can fall into the trap anyone can!
Fitness Minutes: (1,997)
8/8/12 9:31 P
It is awful that you went through that, but I found it inspiring that you are willing to help others who find themselves in a similar situation. It doesn't seem like we should develop an addiction for using prescribed drugs correctly. Thank you for your story and I am so glad that you found what you needed to overcome!
Fitness Minutes: (68,349)
8/5/12 7:17 P
The cure is sometimes worse that the ailment. I have went through various things in my past and have been able to kick the habit or fix myself. (actually, I too lean on Jesus and it has been him that got me through). I am glad you have gotten through this tough time in life and I pray it continues to go well. Keep the faith.
So glad you're doing better and got the help you needed. :)
Fitness Minutes: (3,086)
267 8/3/12 6:37 P
On May 4th I rolled over to get out of bed...I had the worst pain I have ever had....everything went black and I screamed for my husband to call an ambulance....slowly the pain subsided...I went to the ER where I work and the Doc and I agreed that it was probably a kidney stone...however the CT was negative...he gave me pain meds and I went home....that night I woke up with the same pain...it was so bad I was hysterical....so back to the ER I went....this time my good friend was my doctor...he gave me stronger pain meds and we decided that I probably had sciatica and he started me on steroids...that night I went to walk down the steps to watch the Phillies game with my husband and my leg gave out....I grabbed the railing and lowered myself down the steps...I called the ER again and spoke with one of our doctors who is a spine specialist....he told me to go over and try to go up the steps...when I did this I fell back down on the ground...I told him I fell and he said "you have a ruptured disc....So this started the worst 8 weeks of my life...I was taking Dilaudid and Percocet every 6 hours...the pain was horrible...my insurance made me have an injection in my disc even though the doctor said it would never work...he said he never saw a disc as big as mine...my spinal cord was so pinched that I had no feeling in my right leg....when I DID occasionally have feeling it was so painful that I would cry....the injection was set for 3 weeks after the day I got out of bed and had the pain....so that whole time I was taking pain medication around the clock.... 3 weeks later I had the injection and it didn't work...so I was scheduled for surgery a week later....after the surgery I woke up and had NO PAIN!!! My leg was still numb but there was no pain!! I stopped taking the pain meds and started my recovery!!
Within 12 hours I was so sick...I was shaking...crying...vomiting...cramping.... it was awful....I knew I was in withdrawal....I tried so hard to hold it together but I had NO idea how to come off of the medication....I went to the ER and my friend gave me a schedule to follow so I could come off of the meds without as much pain and suffering...I tried this for a week...the entire week I was on the couch...crying....suicidal...thinking of any way possible to kill myself...the ONLY thing that kept me going was that I didn't want my son to find me...that Friday my mom, who has her masters in drug and alcohol rehab came home and found me on the couch in full withdrawal....she called her friend and I went to detox...it was so hard but I did it....when I came out I was SO HAPPY!!! I felt great!!
Within 72 hours I was right back with the same symptoms....I was crying...anxious and suicidal....I couldn't go out of the house...I would sit and stare out the window...I was a totally and complete mess....I was so scared that I would never be normal again...I had no hope....I was so scared....I thought I would never be able to work again...how could I be in charge of a busy ER and take care of people when I was falling apart....it was awful....I was diagnosed with PAWS or post acute withdrawal syndrome....everything I looked up said it would last 1-5 YEARS.....how was I going to tolerate this...I never ever felt such anxiety....it was truly debilitating....
This is how I was for 2 weeks....I was losing hope....my sister called me and asked if she could come over after church...I begged her to...I told her I needed her....I asked her to pray for me at church that day....when she got to my house she told me that the church elders had prayed for me....she said that she told them everything that was happening with me ....she brought me a white rock that had a cross drawn on it that had been prayed over....she handed it to me and I held it for the rest of the day....she told me to focus on Jesus and allow him to work in my life....after she left I laid on the sofa, held the rock and prayed....
I went to bed that night and around 3am I got an email on my phone that was from a friend's mom who works at Betty Ford....she told me all the same things everyone else had been telling me...."it will get better....hang in there....it won't be this way forever..." and then she said "and by the way we use neurontin here for the anxiety of PAWS"....OMG I HAVE SOME OF THAT IN THE KITCHEN FROM MY NERVE PAIN is all I could think as I was RUNNING to the kitchen.....I took 2 of them and went to bed....when I woke up Monday morning I had NO ANXIETY.....it was GONE.....
You can be cynical and think that it was a coincidence....I however believe that by choosing to believe and focus on God instead of my own strength HE pulled me out of the pit of hell I found myself in.....
Today is almost EXACTLY 90 days since the start of that horrible journey...I am on NO meds (except the prozac and synthroid I have always been on).....I am back at work and have been able to share my story and hope with 3 women who are in the same place I found myself in....I never used more medication than I was supposed to ....I took it because I had a medical condition and when the condition was over I stopped....if it can happen to me it can happen to you...and I want people to know that there is hope...don't keep using....go through the horrible pain so you can get to the other side...there is so much life to live.....
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