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SEALIONGIRL Posts: 300
12/18/12 1:35 P

My goodness, what I wouldn't give to look like your "after" shots! I know what you mean about struggling with the mental image -- I've experienced the same thing. Logically, I know I'm smaller; the clothes fit differently, I take up less room. But for whatever reason, making that mental leap is always really hard. It looks like you're still in or just finished with college too, which is where I started losing weight -- that makes it even harder, because you're generally surrounded by girls who haven't had their metabolism bite them in the backside yet, and who eat like crap and are still stick thin. Just know that you really, truly do look FANTASTIC, and more importantly, you have a healthy lifestyle. At the end of the day, the weight matters less than taking care of ourselves, and you have made such huge positive strides in that regard. Keep your chin up!

Edited by: SEALIONGIRL at: 12/18/2012 (13:37)
HEYITSAPOSSUM Posts: 273
12/17/12 6:19 P

Are you kidding me? You look amazing. In fact, you are at my approximate goal weight... one that I am working very hard to attain... and considering all that you've lost, you have something to be very very proud of.

Embrace your beauty, for real. You are HOT. :)



BDH1970 Posts: 91
12/17/12 4:04 P

I think you look beautiful! I hope to do as well as you have!!

My husband likes me "big" too - doesn't want me to lose weight at all. I'm also 6' tall, so I'm always called "big" no matter whether I'm thin or not. I just keep telling myself that I'd rather be big and strong, than thin and whimpy - lol

Maybe you're body's telling you you're at your "happy weight" and that it doesn't want to go any further - which means you're just right!

emoticon

FEDGIRL4 Posts: 1,920
12/17/12 2:40 P

If those are accurate pictures of how you actually look...dang you have a hot bod!

Many women, including myself, time and time again only look at the areas for improvement. That is until I compared to pictures of long ago, even a year ago. My confidence started to grow. My face, waist, butt, and thighs are considerably smaller.

It's tough to undo all those years of feeling bad. Keep wearing the clothes that accentuate what they should.

BED0FR0SES Posts: 415
12/17/12 1:30 P

Thank you so much for the kind words. I am trying to see the positive, it just gets mucked up sometimes from so many years of feeling down on myself, and from the taunts and tormenting I endured from middle school through early adulthood....when you've been told you're fat by so many for so long, its so hard to see the value and the beauty in yourself in future years.

I am going to try to take your advice and get some new clothes, and try to remind myself of the physical and personal attributes I have that I DO like, and to remember my progress.

This has all been such a long, difficult, but rewarding journey, I know that this might be the most difficult part yet (accepting myself in the here and now), but I think it just may be the most important part of the process yet.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (139,488)
Fitness Minutes: (209,060)
Posts: 20,646
12/17/12 11:47 A

BED0FR0SES,

We all have feelings of self doubt. The fact is, the grass is always greener on the other guy's lawn. We assume that skinny girls must be happy just because they are slim. Well, the fact is thin women are just as unhappy about their body's as over weight women are. We're our own worst critics. Flaws we see in ourselves, no one else sees.

I like this example. Think back to when you were in high school. What happened the day of the prom or a big date when you realized you had a *gasp* zit. That zit was the BIGGEST zit on the planet. Everyone would notice. Everyone would comment. Did they ? Nope, because nobody cared. We are the only people who cared.

Your boyfriend loves you for who YOU are as a person, not your body. The fact is, good looks and a slim body may attract a person. But it's your personality that KEEPS that person. That's why you can't beat yourself up because you don't think you're slim enough, pretty enough, smart enough, etc... As the old song goes,"accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative". Accentuate the things you DO like about your body and don't beat yourself up because you're not perfect.

You don't have to be perfect to be healthy. There really is more to good health than a number that stares at us from between our toes in the morning. Your self worth as a person should NEVER be determined by a number on the scale !

How does a person learn to love their body ? First, you have to accept that you'll never be perfect. You'll have to accept that even if you were to lose 10 pounds, that you might not be happy. the happiness buck stops right here. if you're not happy with your body now, you're not going to be happy later.

My advice ? Start accentuating those positives. Start by buying some new clothes that flatter your new figure. nothing says new attitude like a new set of clothes. if you're wearing old clothes that don't show off your new figure, that will depress you. wearing nice clothes will help you feel better about yourself. it's a simple thing you can do to boost your confidence. Get a new hairstyle if you don't want to change your outfit.

It's all about rebuilding your self confidence !




BED0FR0SES Posts: 415
12/16/12 10:44 P

Thank you for replying. I know that my negative perceptions and berating of myself can only hinder my progress, I just can't seem to shake it.

The number on the scale isn't the only thing not budging, my clothing size and hip/weight/arm/thigh measurements have all stayed relatively the same as well. At this point, it's not even the lull in progress that bothers me so much as my extreme emotional response to it.

I'll consider making my food tracker public, I just worry it will make track less honestly...sometimes its hard for me to put in everything I eat if its all not healthy, even though I'm the only one seeing it, so knowing other people can see it might thwart me from using it.

It's a jumbled mess, I know, but thank you so much for trying to help me figure out which pieces go together...

MICHCLEARY SparkPoints: (60,474)
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Posts: 5,775
12/16/12 10:04 P

First of all thanks for sharing so honestly. I know that is difficult.

Restricting your calories is not the way to health unless you are over eating. Your body requires 1200 calories a day just to do it's normal functions. If you're working out then you need more than that to fuel your body.

If you're tracker is shared you can post on the Diet & Nutrition board and get some help from someone qualified to know if you're eating in a good range.

Weight on the scale is just a number. It doesn't reflect what is going on inside your body and is not the sole basis of whether or not you are doing well. I also think that negative input from yourself is detrimental to your ability to succeed. I started reading a book by Joel Osteen called I Declare: 31 Promises to Speak Over Your Life. I'm working myself on speaking to myself positively, especially where it has to to do with my health and physical being.

Just wanted to tell you that I wish you well. Peace be with you.

BED0FR0SES Posts: 415
12/16/12 9:17 P

I'm no longer sure where the line is between focusing on having a healthy lifestyle and being emotionally destructive.

I've lost a lot of weight over the past 4 years, but for the last two years I have been stuck within 10-15 lbs of my goal weight and the same dress size. I still track my calories daily, and work out [weight training, cardio classes, jogging] several times a week.

My problem is this: my friends and boyfriend reassure me that I look great, but when I look in the mirror, all I can see are the areas that still need work. I get so anxious meeting new people for the first time because I am sure they are noticing my weight. When people post pictures of me on facebook that are unflattering, I cry for over an hour about how I'm still fat, and then cry because I wish I didn't care so much about my weight.

Sometimes I don't understand why my boyfriend would want someone like me over skinny girls, and if I see skinny girls [even naturally thin girls who don't work out like I do], I immediately feel guilty that I don't restrict my calories more or workout more often.

I would say I have generally healthy habits, but I'm not the girl who only orders salads or anything like that. Most people I know have no clue that I'm so insecure or how guilty I feel after eating every meal that isn't perfectly healthy...but I can't figure out if these feelings are a normal part of the weight loss journey, or if I'm stuck in some horrible emotional rut...

The worst part is, I can't decide what to do: to stop worrying about my weight so much and work on loving myself as is, OR hunker down and work out harder, restrict my calories and kick the weight once and for all so I can finally feel satisfied with my progress....

I know this a lot of rambling with no real direct question, I'm just so tired of the emotional back/forth and don't know where to turn.

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