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NANCYPAT1 Posts: 47,283
1/5/13 11:06 P

Thank you for posting that. So often we let our own insecurities twist others motives into something they are NOT. A hubby or boyfriend might be WATCHING you because he thinks you are sexy and watching your work out turns him on. You might think "How could ANYONE be attracted to this FAT body?" People are also often clueless about how their behaviors are interpreted by us.

STARDUST2K4 Posts: 1,346
1/5/13 6:24 P

Family can be the best support, or the worst saboteurs! My fiance isn't really 'up to speed' with me as far as weight loss is concerned, even though he can stand to lose a few pounds himself. My family says they're supportive, but I think it's more that they're supportive only in theory, but when it comes to practice, they're really not that interested. When I first started this journey, I'd get mad 1-because my fiance wouldn't do this with me, and 2-because he still ate his junk food in front of me. It's taken me quite some time to realize that if I want this bad enough, then it won't matter what other people around me are eating. People are going to eat. It happens. I wouldn't ask a perfect stranger to stop eating junk food just because they happen to be around me with it, so why would I ask anyone else just because they're family?
As far as eating his leftovers, you can politely say 'no' to that, and let him know firmly that you are not interested, and that you would appreciate it if he stopped offering you his left overs. One of my goals for this year was to say 'no' to offers of other people's left overs. I'm not a dog, and I will not eat some one else's would-be garbage.
That said, you can still eat pizza and live healthy lifestyle. I had pizza for lunch today and a serving of ice cream too. It's about making the changes over a long period of time, and I know for a fact that I can't give up either of those for life!

I also had trouble exercising in front of others. Especially work out videos for some reason! I'm not sure why, but I always thought he'd be laughing at me, but one time I just said "to hell with it" and exercised. When I was done, he gave me a big hug and told me how proud he is of me. It turns out, he wasn't staring at me, but when he did see me working out, he was happy for me for finally wanting it bad enough to just do it regardless of who's around.

You can do this! It is absolutely possible to get through it.

PAXTONBLUE Posts: 299
1/5/13 6:03 P

I know that can be hard. At first I got mad at my fiance for still eating bad and I felt like he was trying to sabotage me. Finally after truly thinking about it I realized I couldn't control his choices but I could my own. So I had learn to refuse the food that I knew was bad for me and supplement with something else. It wasn't always successful regretfully, but when I was it was the greatest feeling in the world. I would do things like go workout, eat something healthy, or just leave the room. Best of luck, I know it can be hard.

NANCYPAT1 Posts: 47,283
1/5/13 5:38 P

It sounds like there is a WHOLE lot more going on than just your weight. Have you talked to him and told him how you feel? Is he threatened that you are losing the weight to go out looking for someone else? Maybe he thinks that if you lose the weight you won't get to have pizza together or do some of the other things HE and YOU share now. Pepperoni pizza may not be an ideal healthy food, but it is not horrible either - have you tried fitting in a piece or two of your favorite pizza? Let him know that you would like his help and then spell out EXACTLY what that help would look like so YOU feel good. I have dealt with family in the whole weight loss journey many times and a couple of things have helped. Saying up front (1) if I am eating it - I have made it fit into my plan, (2) I appreciate that you want to share but for my health, I can not eat pizza tonight (or every day) BUT I could plan for it tomorrow night if you want to wait until then, (3) when you do X I feel like you are Y - that may not be the case but it IS how I feel, so if you could do W instead I would feel so much better and would really appreciate it (on this one, I convinced my son to stop driving too fast - I said, I KNOW you can handle the car, but when you do that, I panic - it is NOT about YOUR driving, it is about my PANIC - it took a while but now he is VERY careful about NOT going too fast when I am in the car. If I had complained about his driving, I would still be playing white-knuckle passenger.

RENE176 SparkPoints: (49,576)
Fitness Minutes: (13,311)
Posts: 57
1/5/13 5:23 P

By you taking charge of your health and making positive changes, he may be feeling threatened himself. Deep down, he is probably struggling with his attitudes towards his own health. Also, sometimes men feel that if their lady starts making changes, it may be a sign that she wants to change him too or even dump him. Whenever he urges extra food on you, just smile and say no thanks and then immediately change the subject from food to something else, preferably something positive from some other area of life. Confirm to him that loving him is one of the reasons you are determined to get healthy, so you can spend more years of your life with him.

Hang in there!

VIRGOGURL4 SparkPoints: (44,040)
Fitness Minutes: (74,777)
Posts: 1,433
1/5/13 4:50 P

Family can be the worst when it comes to losing weight. But there are things that you can do to give him the message that you mean business. For example, throw away the leftovers when he offers you some. And for the love of it, avoid exercising in front of him. Exercise is hard enough when you're not surrounded by negativity.

DEBBIE0824 SparkPoints: (332)
Fitness Minutes: (675)
Posts: 2
1/5/13 2:44 P

i feel that sometimes my husband wants me to fail at loosing the weight. He wants to order pizza and eat it in front of me knowing that pepperoni pizza is my favorite. He is always asking do you want my leftovers after supper. Here i am trying and trying and sometimes i feel like what the hell what does it matter. then i realize it matters to me and i have to answer to myself. i hate exercising in front of him because i feel he is making fun of me and that is something i have to get over. if i can get through this i feel i can get through anything.

debbie emoticon

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