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DISNEYPARIS SparkPoints: (44,190)
Fitness Minutes: (33,023)
Posts: 1,189
2/8/13 3:26 A

I think you've got to approach it in a positive frame of mind. Rather than thinking this is so hard, think this is what l am choosing do. Being determined is empowering. Do what's healthy for you. Once your husband sees your great results, you may well inspire him to join you.

KGWINDER Posts: 1,367
2/8/13 2:57 A

Like it Nikki!

NIKKIG3 Posts: 1,443
2/8/13 1:56 A

Sounds like he is rebelling and trying to sabotage your efforts. I have the same issue at my house. But I am using that as motivation for me to continue. For the first time since November I am on track and feel wonderful. When my honey is not around I eat healthy and when he comes home and wants to eat pizza, I eat A SLICE with tons of broccoli so I feel full after one slice instead of 3.

So technically we still eat the same things but I just find work arounds and this way I can still enjoy food with him with out feeling deprived.

RUBYREDKAT68 SparkPoints: (3,428)
Fitness Minutes: (1,639)
Posts: 6
2/3/13 2:05 A

I too have a husband that brings home tempting snacks and sweets. I have asked him to please stop, but we don't seem to be on the same page with regard to willpower.

My solution, which seems to be working quite well, is to designate a cupboard for the unhealthy, high calorie foods I find hard to resist. The cupboard is up high, and requires a stepladder for me to reach it.

Out of sight is not entirely out of mind. However, I have yet to make the extra effort required to eat his treats.

KGWINDER Posts: 1,367
2/2/13 10:40 P

I didn't have this challenge at home rather at my work lunchroom. Here are a few that worked for me.
1) I make believe I'm on national tv and that the whole nation is watching to see if i make the right choice.
2) I make up silly stories about the food the gross me out to want to eat it...slug slime, rolled in stinky soxes, has mold on it, fell on a dirty floor, I'm allergic to eat....
3) "I'm so full" Go drink three very large glasses of water and take two fiber pills...then if offered you really can't
4) MOVE! While watching tv etc sit on an exercise ball roll and bounce. Hard to feed and pant at the same time. Also move arms lenght away from tempting food....no one is forcing you to have your face in it.
5) Make a very large plate of steamed veggie...think 5 cups....you can flavor with chili and lime, garlic and sun dries tomato bits, soy sauce or salsa. I love Costco's big bags of frozen mixes.
6) delayed rewards. I made shot glass desserts with strawberries, fresh pineapple, raspberries or blueberries with homemade lowfat ricotta or cottage cheese into chocolate pudding or soft cheesecake....each one was about 50 kcal and I would allow myself one at the end of the day if I'd had a good day
7) planned temptation kcals. Readjust your daily totals to allow for a once a week 500 kcal treat....if I didn't use it for the week great, if I slipped it was instant forgiveness and otherwise planned fun for a set time in the week
8) the special small treat dishes....i got myself some cute dishes that hold 2 tablespoons and single cup dishes.....want some apple pie...fine but only 2 T worth....popcorn only a cup....on the side have a plate with cut cucumbers, peppers etc that give a good crunch....make your own vegetable pickles with new ingredients like ginger rice wine vinegar and pineapple, or for carrots dill garlic and vinegar, cabbage stems, chard and kale stems with beet juice, red onions, wine vinegar and some peppercorns.....i keep a couple of jars on the door and keep adding to them when i prepare meals
9) Saved the best for last....all of the above are just bridges until you give yourself permission to be in control of what goes into your mouth. This control is with you. It doesn't have to happen quickly but if you keep with the journey you will gain more and more. All of Spark is behind you. Pretty soon you will be teaching the rest of us new bridges until we master the whole equation of control.

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (138,277)
Fitness Minutes: (33,254)
Posts: 21,854
2/2/13 4:00 P

Have you thought about eating slightly less of your normal food and getting some plain popcorn so that you can enjoy yours (which is very healthy I might add) while he is eating his. As far as his meal choices are concerned, maybe you could suggest that you would LOVE to cook a couple meals for HIM each week, and make some real healthy, yummy ones that are filling. I am sure that he wouldn't object to this, and it will help to remove those tempters from some of your life, at least a couple days a week ..... and who knows, he may find he enjoys the alternatives more or gets used to eating healthier, more.

Kris

ROBERTDY SparkPoints: (717)
Fitness Minutes: (1,463)
Posts: 2
2/2/13 8:21 A

Thank you all for your responses and support!

I think I worded everything poorly when I posted this yesterday... It's not that I want to change his eating habits because I think he needs to get into shape or because I think he needs it (although it would be a great bonus, from a health standpoint). I will love my husband whether he is 200 or 500 pounds - and he has been my rock through any struggle I have encountered... I want to know how to cope with the fact that there is always something unhealthy around as a result of his poor eating habits.

While it's becoming exhausting to think of meals that he will eat, the real issue is that I do not know how to deal with the fact that there is ALWAYS something around tempting me. How do I tell him that his eating habits are affecting me? That when he makes a massive bowl of popcorn after dinner and sits next to me, it is very hard for me to tell him no thank you. And most of all, how do I let him know that his seeming lack of support is making it incredibly difficult for me?

Again, thank you all so much for your support and responses! It's nice to know that if I'm having a breakdown, someone is always there from the spark community to either support me or to knock some sense into me ;)

Thanks!

SPARKLIE-DAY Posts: 63
2/2/13 6:40 A

All of this information is correct, and Spark is an amazing resource. I'm just wondering about the fact that you both gained all of this weight since getting married. I wonder if there is some kind of comfort or need that you could be seeking from each other or from somewhere else in your lives that you have instead sought from food. To me this is a red flag since you said the weight has come on for both of you just since your marriage. You absolutely should deal with your food management and discipline, seek ways of doing what's right for you. But at the same time, I would not ignore any possible underlying issues. If they're there, they will return, unless you figure it out and sort it out. Good luck!

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (138,277)
Fitness Minutes: (33,254)
Posts: 21,854
2/2/13 5:22 A

When my husband and I got married he claimed he would eat anything. Well he would turn his nose up and a variety of veges and moan if it wasn't just mashed potato, canned peas and sausages or mince (ground beef). I have always been a really good cook, and also inclined to be bossy if those around me didn't eat 'right' - LOL! I would cook the meals - he would complain because it wasn't what he wanted - I would tell him that I had cooked it, it was far healthier and yummier than his alternatives and he was going to eat it - LOL! He DID eat it, and ended up eating anything that I would cook AND enjoy it :-)

Find out what he likes - apart from the rubbish he is eating - and work on that. One thing I did often practice was giving hubby choices - between THIS or THAT, and that would be it. He would be quite happy then, because he had 'chosen' his food.

Kris



KGWINDER Posts: 1,367
2/2/13 5:06 A

Your 85 lbs d i dn't come overnight right? What took you so long to get to a point of focus? It is totally necessary to let him get to the point of discover....however don't cook two meals. YOU are a teacher now to allow him to know the way (and don't forget guys lose faster....you may end up very glad you had a head s t art). Don't nag but on the other hand don'tenable by buying foods you would rather not be around.

Show love respect and share the hurt you feel when he can't be a part of your journey. Making your journey fun and enjoyable will make it more likely he will join you. Do you play for exercise? Try to remember a time that you both shared an activity wh i ch you both enjoyed..share with him how th a t made you feel. You'll get there, don't lose trust in someone that has been there through so much in life. SHARE and listen. Focus less on the food and more on the activities and getting enough sleep. Best wishes on your path until then.

LUCKINLOVE Posts: 216
2/1/13 1:53 P

I have nothing more to add, but I do think you should read the previous posters response one more time because it is SPOT on. My husband doesn't need to lose weight, but he eats less than healthy. By me setting an example with my healthy choices over the years of our relationship, he's eventually caught on to many things by his own choice...which is key.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (143,140)
Fitness Minutes: (214,125)
Posts: 20,991
2/1/13 1:46 P

ROBERTDY,

Unfortunately, we can't force our loved ones to make healthy choices. You may want him to eat healthy for the right reasons. The problem is that he needs to lose weight for HIS reasons, not yours. This happens all the time. One spouse wants to get healthy and the other isn't ready. You can't force them to do something they aren't ready to do. They'll fight you.

For the time being, you have to do what's best for your own body. You're going to have to set the example. Don't be condescending or nagging. Let him decide to join you when he's ready. Once you begin to lose weight and be more healthy, then he may start making changes. You really can't force him to be healthy. We're we the same way ? How many people told us we needed to lose weight before we decided to make a change ? Well, he's in that position now. Give him time.

What to do for food ? Check out the spark recipes section. No one says you can't eat pizza or enchilidas any more. There are healthier ways to cook and make those recipes. Too many people think that healthy food doesn't taste good. That is a total misconception. As you begin to cook healthier foods, he will see how much better it tastes. Check out those recipes in the spark recipes section. There are tons of fabulous foods and many are very simple.

So, don't worry !! Just be patient. Take care of yourself FIRST. then as you become healthier, he may decide to join you. Like I said, we can't nag or encourage our loved ones to do something they aren't ready to do.

Patience, it's a virtue. And do check out the Spark Recipes section for great meal ideas !!



ROBERTDY SparkPoints: (717)
Fitness Minutes: (1,463)
Posts: 2
2/1/13 11:15 A

When my husband and I first started dating (4 plus years ago), he was 100 lbs lighter and I was 85lbs lighter. Since about a year ago, we've been trying to get back into the shape we were in before, but SOMETHING always comes up and we fall off the wagon.

Last month, I did a cleanse and I felt phenomenal. Better and cleaner than I have in a very very long time. Now that it's finished and I'm eating healthier, I'm just beginning to realize how terribly he eats. If I have baked salmon over brown rice with edamame, he has a large pizza. If I have a grilled chicken breast in a salad, he has microwavable chicken tenders and popcorn... I love to cook and I have always made dinner for the both of us, but It's becoming exhausting for me to have to think up meals that he will enjoy because they're not "too healthy tasting" but I refuse to keep pointing out the terrible choices he's making in eating. Yesterday he came home from work and told me that he'd eaten Oatmeal for breakfast, a lean cuisine pizza for lunch, and a clif bar for a snack - and he thought that was a great day.

I feel like I am doing this all on my own. It would not be an issue normally, but he is filling the house with very bad and very tempting food. I'm beginning to struggle with the effort.

Please tell me how to get him to either STOP or be more supportive!


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