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1/10/12 3:04 P

You will find yourself again. You have lots of good suggestions and comments from fellow Spark People. Don't settle. Aim high. Be happy with yourself and your choices.

SHAESHISHA SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (2,715)
Posts: 432
1/7/12 5:24 P

I've never been married, but I have loved & lost. Heartache can be very difficult to overcome, but one thing I learned that helped ease the pain was meditation, breathing exercises, & yoga. If there is a local yoga or meditation class they have at your local gym or community, consider looking into it & trying it out. Yoga & meditation are both very self-finding activities that'll calm your mind, soul, & spirit. It may even bring about some inner strength you didn't realize you had.

Keeping a personal journal can help ease a lot of frustration that's in you if you have nowhere else to turn to talk things out. Writing for me has helped a lot get off my chest, & finalize my pain & frustrations into a book that I know holds all of that, but aren't within in me anymore. Writing will also make sense of whatever situations you're going through, as well as help make logic of some areas in your life.

Spend as much time with your children as possible, perhaps enrolling them in some sports, or doing activities with them that will make your bond closer to them. It is probably just as difficult for the children since they might not understand completely, but devoting your time & affection to do something proactive with them will definitely take your & your children's minds off the matter.

I wish you the best of luck! Everything will fall in place, all in due time! Just focus on how wonderful life is; be thankful & have gratitude for all the fortunes you DO have now in your life!

SWEETZ11 Posts: 99
1/7/12 1:45 P

Thanks so much. It's good to know that I'm not the only one who's been through this crazy ordeal. I'm learning day by day to learn to love myself and to try and let go. Yes, the thought constantly plays in my mind, and it gets so over bearing that it's hard to shake loose. I picked up about 15lbs from worrying and wondering, why me. I come from a good church background and I'm not a mean person at all. I kind of stop loving myself after the break up. I just don't know why. I;m 48 years old and wonder, were do I go from here!? Anyhow, I'm glad to be a SP team member, because of all the encouragement found on this web. I'm wanting to dedicate myself to this program and lose the weight and find the confidence, I once had. "Thank you guys and thanks in advance, for the ones who in the future,for the feed back." In 2012, I just want to be positive in mind, body and spirits. Lets make this happen for one another! Everyday, I hope to regain control again, one day at a time.

1/6/12 8:35 P

I am 48 also. I have also been divorced twice, had one husband die and am currently with another signifant other. OH HEAVENS THAT SOUNDS BAAAADDDDD!!!! My first two husbands were complete cruds. I still claim temporary insanity for marrying them. Now that is. Back then even though they were awful I was ripped apart when the marriages fell apart. Now I know that it was the best thing ever. I had to get over how bad they were. I had to stop blaming them. I had to look at me. I had to come face to face with the fact that I was the one who kept choosing losers. After No.2, I stayed away from men altogether for 8 years. I did not date anyone. I did not even talk to guys on the phone, I concentrated on me. I had to deal with the things inside me that made me think that being with a loser was better than being by myself. I found out that at that time I did not like myself at all. So, I started working on me and becoming a person I liked. After I did that for a while I was able to really appreciate a good guy that came along and tell the losers to get lost.

Don't know if any of this helps you but I hope so. I do understand the feelings that come from a broken relationship and they will get better.

GLITTERFAIRY77 Posts: 8,023
1/6/12 6:38 P

Being hurt is being hurt, but I believe that dwelling on it and letting what he did and how he acted towards you to take this much out of you is giving him soooo much more power than he deserves.
I'm only 34, but I've been through some stuff, too. If we let people rule our emotions, we let them take away our joy. Think of what your babies stand to benefit if you just CHOOSE to find joy. You are alive! You have another chance to be who you want to be inside and out.
It doesn't matter if he was older, or younger, or whatever. You have to discover who YOU are, what kind of woman and mother you are. Bump him. He's not even worth all that energy you're wasting on him! emoticon

SWEETZ11 Posts: 99
1/6/12 3:48 P

Can someone give me some word of wisdom? I've been divorce for over 8 months now and only been married two months. That was very crazy and I still never understood it, still today! I'm currently trying to get myself back together emotional and physical. I'm also trying to rebuild my family again. I've been very hurt from this past relationship and I'm pretty sure my children were affected to. It took me along time to start to regain focus on me and my family whole heartily This guy has did nothing but cause a lot of heartache, whether he know it or not. So tell me, how can I stay focus on losing this weight and being positive, every time this thought comes back?.. I'm 48, please help! He was younger than me. Is this to old to even care now?

Edited by: SWEETZ11 at: 1/7/2012 (18:59)
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