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MAMA_CD Posts: 1,507
2/14/12 6:50 P

Your English is excellent. Your issues are deep, seeing a good counselor who can get to the deep emotional, relational and spiritual issues should be of a great benefit to you, help you learn about yourself, so that you can rise above your circumstances. May God Bless you on your journey to discovery.

MELLISOND Posts: 1,277
2/14/12 9:26 A

Hello Alste,
First I want to say I am so sorry that you have had such intense stressors in your life. But I am glad that you are reaching out for help. Have you checked out the ED Spark team? The members and teamleaders there might have some suggestions for you. I share with you the tendency to all or nothing thinking. What has helped me avoid the negative consequences of this thought pattern is the phrase "that is not an option". For example, I was very stressed following the suicide of a colleague and I found myself thinking about binging on junk food - actually any food I could get my hands on - but instead, I told myself "That is not an option". I went for a walk and had a healthy snack and got past the temptation to binge. Finally, there are also 12 Step programs for the families of people with alcohol addiction. You may want to seek support there even if you are not sure that your husband is an alcoholic. There is amazing support and guidance in the 12 Step community. Best wishes!

LISAWMI SparkPoints: (50,169)
Fitness Minutes: (37,224)
Posts: 1,416
2/14/12 8:27 A

Congratulations on taking a step forward! You are on your way and you can do it!

-ICETEA- Posts: 15
2/14/12 5:09 A

Thank you so much for support and advice. I have decided to start journalling and just booked an appointment with a psychiatrist at an Eating Disorder Treatment Center here in my country. Yesterday my husband and I had a very open conversation and I think he is also determined to get his problem of addiction to alcohol fixed soon. It is not that serious as you might think but still I'm glad he recognized it to be his source of addiction. The environment in the family is getting better and better every day :)
Nancy, yes, you were right, I am a perfectionist and have been throughout the whole my life, it's so hard to change my attitude and way of thinking and looking at things. But I am trying to learn to love myself and my body more and to nurture it.
Thanks also for the suggested book, I think I'll definitely order it when I'll have some spare money. I also read a few chapters from its preview at, there were many good thoughts to consider. Thanks to everybody! Have an awesome day!

MBHRD27 SparkPoints: (3,051)
Fitness Minutes: (2,244)
Posts: 114
2/13/12 9:50 P

things will get better for you. make sure you are not living in a toxic environment so that you are able to fix yourself

MARCELLA78 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (575)
Posts: 13
2/13/12 3:38 P

I am very sorry to hear about your struggles. Please keep your head up.

COOLEYFAM Posts: 174
2/13/12 2:28 P

Sorry to hear about all that. Keep your head up. Good luck! emoticon

LISAWMI SparkPoints: (50,169)
Fitness Minutes: (37,224)
Posts: 1,416
2/12/12 8:39 P

My heart breaks for you. I recommend the book Goodbye Ed Hello Me- it is a phenomenal book about the author's struggle with her Eating Disorder (Ed).

LADONIA SparkPoints: (39,316)
Fitness Minutes: (39,351)
Posts: 358
2/12/12 6:48 P

A lot has gone on but I hope you get the help you need to move forward.

SP_COACH_NANCY SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
2/12/12 5:32 P

HI Aiste,

Eating disorders are quite complex and I am glad you are seeking help. That is a beginning.

Could it be that you are trying to hard to be perfect in everything that you do? Most of us have spent a lifetime getting to this moment, therefore, we cannot expect to wake up one morning and undo years of living with poor habits. Breaking down goals into smaller more doable ones is a start. Losing weight is not a goal, but the result of healthy habits...things such as eating 5-9 serving of veggies and fruit, drinking water in place of soda, walking 30 minutes a day.

I hope you get the help you are seeking.

Be well,

Coach Nancy

-ICETEA- Posts: 15
2/12/12 3:51 P

Hi all,
I'm new here, hope somebody would just read my lines and (hopefully) would have some ideas or words of comfort for me. I just wanted to let my feelings go here. I said I'm new here but the truth is I keep registering and unregistering here because of my all or nothing way of thinking or disappointment with myself, my inability to stay health, to embrace healthy eating and healthy eating habits. I now truly understand that I have an eating disorder, something like bulimia (but there's no vomiting) or maybe it's rather compulsive overeating. I don't know.
Today I got up and thought I'd finally reset my goals and would try to count calories, to stay within my calorie range, I'm downloading some great workout DVDs to workout to on working days and I'm really looking towards it. But the fact is that I screwed it all, I got angry with my 2-year old daughter, then I binged, and now I am drunk and miserable. I am 30 years old, gonna be 30 and a half in the end of April and I think I've been living with this eating disorder for 15 years or more now. I'm so tired and sick of trying to maintain healthy living habits, counting calories and everything. Because I did count them twice, the first time was last Feb I think, I did great, worked out at home, counted calories, enjoyed all my favourite foods though (moderately), lost weight, looked fantastic, and then I had to go through tons of stressful experiences (one of them was criminal proceedings with me as an aggrieved party, as I had suffered from an attempt to rape but fortunately the crime was not committed because I offered some money - nevertheless it was very emotional and painful and as you know these legal procedures last very long, it is not over yet, another court hearing is going to take place in a fortnight... another issue was my parents' problems, also related to courts, their opinion is different from mine in that respect, cause they try to deal with the dispute between them and their neighbours themselves, I recommend reconciliation or at least employ a counsel to save nerves at least, they started accusing me for not realising the whole situation, for not being supportive... and this kind of relationship just goes on and on since my teenage years.) I also had marriage problems, my spouse had been unfaithful to me when our kid was born, we had a huge crisis in our relationship, I even did cheat upon him with my ex because of despair, we actually were considering divorce. Besides, he has some issues with alcohol, tried to cure himself with medical drugs but then dropped that because of side-effects, I tried to persuade him to try AA or psychotherapy (Minessota or Twelve Steps Program), he doesn't want to go there saying that he's not THAT sick.
The second time I re-started my journey to new me was last November, after my 30th birhday, when I hired a personal trainer and ordered a personal workout program with a nutrition plan for the term of 3 months. There was no need to weigh food and count calories, everything was done for me. I was doing great, working out, using protein shakes, weighttraining, and I liked me as I was. But then again, I screwed everything :( I even remember episodes of bingeing while watching the Biggest Loser. Ironic. And very very sad...
So it's really really hard for me to stay on track, I've just thought I'd turn here for support or maybe some piece of advice from people with similar experiences. I am tired from focusing on food all the time. I keep resetting my goals. I just thought now I'll be using just quick track instead of Nutrition and Fitness Trackers. And I'll also create my SparkPage to tell more about myself. Now I have finally decided to ask for some psychological help in my country, I've found some contacts of free consultations via email, because we have to be very tight on money now unfortunately. Hope they would just direct me whom to contact further.
Thanks for reading all this. I hope my English is understandable enough, cause I live in a non-English speaking country, I mean it is not one of our official languages.


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