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GEVANS7 SparkPoints: (287,650)
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Posts: 2,120
6/24/14 1:55 P

Good Post. There are many services out there, but do you have to be in a certain income bracket to get help??

Both of my parents died when I was very young. I married a man whose parents had also died, so we have lived our whole lives as, well, without parents or grandparents for our son.

I might need some help for my day.......he's getting more senile and mean every day.

ANDILH Posts: 1,543
6/24/14 1:41 P

Services vary vastly state to state, and county to county within states. What a person is entitled to in one state generally doesn't translate into anywhere near the same services in another state. It's important to keep searching, talk to people who are local to your area and keep pushing. It's like health have to be EXTREMELY persistent to get what you need. Don't every say WANT. Always say "This persons NEEDS x". Otherwise they just blow you off. Then be ready to back up your statement
I'm not taking care of an elderly parent entirely. My mom definitely isn't elderly, but she's had a rough few years. In addition I have guardianship of my severely multiply impaired adult sister. Thankfully the state I live in does provide an income for my taking care of my sister. But we know what she's entitled to, where to look, and just keep fighting for her to have the best care possible. I've taken care of lots of other people and one person I know moved to another state where he literally got 17% of what he'd been getting before moving. When he moved back to live with his dad (he was a disabled young adult whose mother died which put him in an aunt's custody before his dad agreed to take him) and he got everything he'd previously been receiving back.
The more disabled a person is generally the more they are entitled to, veterans get much more than non-veterans although medical treatment can be tough because of VA issues, if a parent is disabled and receiving Disability their minor children are entitled to SSI. A parent caring for the minor child(ren) of a disabled adult can also receive money. There are so many things that people don't know about because the fewer people who know the less they have to do.

SUNSHINE99999 Posts: 18,482
6/24/14 10:34 A

we visit my Mom almost every week at the adult care home and play games.

BOB5148 SparkPoints: (507,543)
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Posts: 17,764
6/24/14 10:32 A


RENATA144 SparkPoints: (207,563)
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Posts: 49,480
6/24/14 10:20 A

My parents are gone but my hubby is elderly & has Alzheimer's.

KKKAREN Posts: 12,754
6/24/14 9:11 A

I live in an apartment which is attached to my parents house. I moved in when my Dad was undergoing cancer treatments, my Mom has COPD and is going blind. Dad is better, Mom is getting worse. I have coffee with them every morning to see how they are doing, cook some meals, go with Dad on all his shopping and errands and help with the yard work. Everyday more seems to be needed. Their house is big, I clean as much as I can but I think it's time to look into a cleaning service. Of course they are resistant to the idea. I'm glad to know there is so much help out there.

BOB5148 SparkPoints: (507,543)
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Posts: 17,764
6/22/14 10:04 A


MEXGAL1 SparkPoints: (565,815)
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Posts: 16,146
6/22/14 9:25 A


6/22/14 7:02 A

Yup. And a toddler. I get the best of both worlds. ;)

JUSTECROYEZ Posts: 1,802
6/22/14 6:18 A


TENNISJIM Posts: 11,750
6/22/14 6:02 A

occasionally -- mostly my older brothers are taking care of my mom

THROOPER62 Posts: 34,268
6/22/14 5:45 A


MARKATSPARK Posts: 5,869
6/22/14 5:39 A


STEELER71 Posts: 8,048
6/22/14 5:08 A

No I Don't.

TCANNO SparkPoints: (343,577)
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Posts: 67,582
6/22/14 4:35 A

I did before they died but one still ended up in a home

BANKER-CHUCK Posts: 6,703
6/21/14 4:33 P

I do, my mom will be 94 soon. She is in good health and walks the treadmill everyday.

MKRETIRED Posts: 2,195
7/25/13 1:44 A

Yes. My mother in law.

WALLPER26 Posts: 2,972
7/24/13 10:23 P

Not now, but have in the past.

SANDYLUVSFALL SparkPoints: (47)
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7/24/13 6:26 P

Sort of. My 71 Mom moved in with us 10 years ago when my father passed away of a heart attack. My Mom has CHF and had two strokes two years ago (not disabling), but she can take care of herself. She still has a car and can drive herself places, but she only wants to go out and do things if I am with her.

Edited by: SANDYLUVSFALL at: 7/24/2013 (18:33)
TRYJESUS2DAY SparkPoints: (12,948)
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Posts: 335
7/24/13 1:01 P


ALEXANDRIA1089 SparkPoints: (54)
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Posts: 2
7/24/13 12:19 P

Yes my grandmother is 79 and disabled, she needs moderate assistance but can be left alone for short periods of time. Ive been taking care of her off and on for the past 5 yrs. My mother had a triple bypass and is totally restricted on her activity. I also have a toddler son. I had to take a leave of absence from my job when my mother had the heart attack and now I am a full time caretaker to all three. I am single and with absolutely no help from anyone. I know I am an emotional eater. I don't complain ( out loud ) about helping them because I know it is the right thing to do. Even when it gets tough, and man it gets really bad sometimes, I keep taking care of everyone and I have yet to really take care of myself. I am glad there is a forum here with this topic because I rarely tell people what I do. Thank you all

JANTHEBLONDE Posts: 10,453
7/24/13 11:08 A


BBUTLER23 Posts: 81
7/24/13 11:07 A

Yes. Mom takes care of herself mostly, but on occasion she does need assistance with walking due to arthritis.

QUEEN_CEE Posts: 3,489
7/24/13 11:06 A

I did both times. I wish I could do so again.

KNUCKLES145 Posts: 16,087
7/24/13 10:53 A

No, but I am the primary caregiver for my severely physically disabled adult son.

WINDANCER99 Posts: 6,801
7/24/13 8:10 A


SIRENSONGS SparkPoints: (57,040)
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Posts: 2,002
7/24/13 7:50 A

Yes, I do. In Canada we get some assistance too, but not nearly as much as we need. My mother has developed mobility issues over the past few years and I'm afraid I've been spoiling her so she's not nearly as independent as she used to be. She wants me to do EVERYTHING, even things she could easily do herself and it is very frustrating!!!! She's not even that old yet, only 69, and I'm already at the end of my tether. It's exhausting and draining, and my brother does barely anything to help. My dad died when we were little, so it's just the two of us now. Her failing health is actually one of the things that inspired me to lose weight. I don't have any kids of my own, don't plan on having any, and don't want to rely too much on other people when I get older. Knock on wood...

KLDJSURVEY SparkPoints: (106,111)
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Posts: 682
7/24/13 7:19 A

yes, definitely

TRYINGTOLOSE64 Posts: 93,051
7/24/13 6:43 A


7/23/13 10:28 P

No, unfortunately.

GLEORIA SparkPoints: (69,132)
Fitness Minutes: (54,488)
Posts: 4,244
7/23/13 9:36 P

No, unfortunately I do not

7/23/13 6:22 P

Not anymore..and I sure miss my mom.

CATIEBELLE Posts: 7,743
7/23/13 6:20 P

Yes I do with my sister doing the most and thanks for the info.

LEW0017 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (5,177)
Posts: 150
7/22/13 9:13 P


UMBILICAL Posts: 12,786
7/22/13 9:11 P

Not anymore.

JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (564,368)
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Posts: 15,898
7/22/13 8:23 P

Online Now  • ))
Not yet, although my dad is 88 and my mom is 84; but they are very independent.

JIACOLO SparkPoints: (544,898)
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Posts: 29,884
7/22/13 7:29 P dad does live on his own, but he does come here frequently for meals and I do oversee his affairs.

FEDGIRL4 Posts: 2,180
7/22/13 6:13 P

Not yet, but there will be a time where I may be.

My Mom still drives, owns her own home, is very independent and is 78. She has a lot of friends and has family (not me) nearby, so they can step in for a while.

She and I agreed a long time ago that we could not live with each other again, but we'll see...

THOMAS.H Posts: 17,827
7/22/13 5:17 P


TIG123GER SparkPoints: (77,547)
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Posts: 2,116
7/22/13 5:13 P

Not in my home but my husband's mother is now alone since his dad died the first of the year and she has many medical issues, doesn't drive, can't get around well, lives in a hoarder house, and lives an hour away but wants the sons to come visit all the time, take her shopping, come get her to do family things, but doesn't want to move. Frustrating as she doesn't see anything wrong with living this way or expecting her kids to give up their lives to do for her whenever she wants.

DELRIO1 Posts: 6,485
7/22/13 8:21 A

mine passed early in life

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
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Posts: 2,954
7/22/13 7:36 A

Yes I take care of my mom and she can be trying at times but my brothers live away and aren't interested in helping out. I promised my Dad on his deathbed that I would take care of her for as long as she was alive. She is in good health but has RA in her hands. She lives 3 blocks from us and we have her over every Sunday for dinner....I have a great DH and DS who run over and help Nanny (as we call her) whenever she needs it. Although I gave up a lucrative Construction Engineering career; I know being with her is what family is all about and we are showing our son that as well!

Hang in there!

FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
7/12/13 5:05 P

yes I know I've been dealing with my dad and it's very difficult because he's very stubborn, I can't physically take care of him cause of my fibromyalgia but I put everything in place for him as he lives downstairs from my nephew who doesn't care about him and it's difficult to watch him be treated like crap when I know I can get him help and he won't accept it.

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,452
7/12/13 3:55 P

It can be really tough to take care of an elderly parent

Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 6/24/2014 (15:23)
FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
7/12/13 1:59 P


MYUTMOST4HIM Posts: 11,453
7/12/13 1:52 P

It is good to be reminded of this help. thank you

FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
7/12/13 12:52 P

FINALLY SOMEONE LISTENED TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My hubby's cousin takes care of her elderly dad which means she gets no income. We were talking at my MIL's 80th birthday and I didn't think of it there only after we were home how she could get paid for taking care of her dad.
He's a fall risk and just came out of rehab when he ventured out in the yard by himself and fell he was refusing to use his cane and now he has to and she does all the cooking , cleaning , shopping and she can't work and its so tough to find a job even if she could. I told her about a program called personal care program and told her she might be able to get paid for taking care of him and she was shocked.
I said he's entitled to so much help meals on wheels, home healthaide, visiting nurses and she said he already had that. Well I tell my SIL's this and they can't be bothered, so I was glad someone finally took my advice, she said she called and is entitled to get some money and that they are going to inspect the house and make sure everything is safe for him and if need be they'll put up railings where needed, she'll get some help financially and with cleaning.
A lot of people don't know about this but they are entitled to so much an if your parent is a veteran OMG your entitled to so much more I got over 10,000 dollars worth of things dad needed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sure I called a lot to get the things but he got hearing aide, lift for his scooter, shower seat, medic alert, rails for the shower, special shower head, bars for the toilet the veterans are entitled to so much you just have to call.
I'm glad his cousin listened cause his father is supporting his two kids the daughter who has been taking care of him and his so who is going through a divorce.
I could of gotten so many services for my dad but he won't accept them, but they are there for people who need them ....

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