Author: Sorting Last Post on Top Message:
FIRECOM SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (11,796)
Posts: 5,855
3/22/13 2:14 P

I wish that a doctor had read me the riot act about my weight but none ever did.

All I want from my Dr. is the blunt truth.

When told about my diabetes, I was crushed but also relieved that the reason for my symptoms was revealed.

Hang in there and look down the road, not backwards.

Good luck, you have a huge amount of support as evidenced at the thoughtful responses to your mail.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (194,375)
Fitness Minutes: (289,663)
Posts: 26,831
3/22/13 1:35 P


I'll admit it. I was totally in denial about my own weight problems. When I weighed over 200+ pounds, I knew I needed to "lose a few". However, I didn't think I was obese. I thought I was average, but I wasn't really average. I too was morbidly obese. I didn't realize it until I'd started taking off the weight.

It is a truly jarring moment when you admit to yourself that you're morbidly obese. However, as others have said, we all had our turning points. We all had that one AH HA moment that made us think twice about our lives. Let your doctor's appointment be your turning point.

I give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.

Perhaps the reason you end up quitting is because your goals are too ambitious. Don't set yourself up for failure. Spark People encourages its members to start with some simple changes first. Example, if you're not eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. if you're not drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. If you're not exercising, don't try to do an hour a day, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieved these goals, then you set new ones.

Good health isn't "all or nothing". Don't try to be perfect. You don't have to be perfect to be healthy. One small change CAN change your life !

DIDS70 Posts: 5,368
3/22/13 1:13 P

OLD is not an excuse either-- I agree with this statement from GLITTERFAIRY.

I have a dvd from my chiropractors office which is a compilation of surge workouts. There are two people on there that are in their 70's and 80's and are smashing the workouts. For a matter of fact, i can barely keep up with them.

PEELERONE Posts: 229
3/22/13 11:49 A

You have to look at things differently. You are on Spark people, you have support, you are attempting to be a different "size" person.
If you went by BMI (body mass index) I would be close to morbidly obese, but I disagree.
I am 5'2" tall and weight 182 lb, but I am very muscular and no one ever thinks I weigh what I do. If you physician went by the BMI - then you need to consider what you eat, what you weight, how much you exercise.
The BMI is not the most accurate.
Keep the chin up. Be your best friend. Be kind to yourself.

RIET69 SparkPoints: (47,087)
Fitness Minutes: (11,285)
Posts: 3,116
3/22/13 11:46 A


JOANIEBUG46 Posts: 4,214
3/22/13 11:29 A

Take that anger and turn it around in your favor! A label never defines you, so don't shame yourself that way. Make up your mind to cherish yourself from now on. Reward yourself with yummy, healthy foods and think of all the POSITIVE attention you will receive when you go back to this same doctor and have lost weight!! Yippee!!!!!! This is a new starting point, so lift yourself up and move on. You have tons of supporters right here and you are not alone!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

DMJAKES Posts: 1,635
3/22/13 11:09 A

Try to remember that the doctor's "label" is describing your BODY category, not YOU. As others have said, you can use this as your motivation to get pissed and do something differently this time. You mentioned that you've done this before and that you fall off the wagon after eating well for several months. Sounds to me like you might be trying to change too much at once, or might have the "all or nothing" mentality that so many dieters have.

How about changing ONE thing at a time? Pick something, anything. Whether it's walking for 10 minutes every day, drinking water instead of soda, adding a veggie to your dinner, or giving your favorite recipe a healthy makeover....just do it and keep at it until it's a part of your daily life. Don't make any change that you're unable to continue for the rest of your life--temporary changes are just that, and will keep you stuck in diet mode.

You can do this....get up, shake the dust off, and take some steps in the right direction!

GRIZ1GIRL SparkPoints: (190,065)
Fitness Minutes: (248,755)
Posts: 2,243
3/22/13 10:53 A

I totally get it--I had a "health screening" that my husband's employer does free every year (in return we get a discount on our monthly health insurance premiums)...and the nurse criticized my blood pressure (128/80). When I said it wasn't normally very high, since I exercise daily it's usually 100/50....and she said "if you get that waist measurement down it'll get better."

And this coming from a HUGELY FAT nurse who was bursting out of her scrubs! I was offended, insulted, and hurt. And then I came home, prayed for her poor judgmental self, prayed to let the offense go....and felt a lot better.

I know what I'm doing to get healthy & stay healthy. I know what my life situations have been that led to this point. I know things they DON'T I'll keep using SP & it'll get better in the long run! :)

Edited by: GRIZ1GIRL at: 3/22/2013 (10:54)
LOSTLIME SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (21,430)
Posts: 19,221
3/22/13 10:45 A

I am sorry that your feelings were hurt. But like everyone else says ;this is probably your changing point. Get angry and start to work on yourself. Put yourself first. It is a hard thing to do.
Start with small steps. Change out one thing at a time. Such as getting rid of white rice. Then
onto the sugar. Start small with exercise too. Do what Chris Downie does:10 minutes. Then build it up from there. Take a walk. Walk in place. Move that is what matters.
If you're a religious person call on the Lord to help you. He will be there every step of the way.
It is not easy but it can be accomplished. emoticon emoticon

ANARIE Posts: 13,175
3/22/13 10:38 A

You know, it's funny how we respond differently to obesity than to any other health issue. If your doctor told you that you had early stage skin cancer, would feel ashamed and hurt and run out to a tanning booth on your way home? People blame the obese for their own problem, when if you think about it, something like skin cancer is MORE likely to be the patient's own fault. It's very easy to put on sunscreen, and it's pretty easy to avoid the sun. Most people never *have* to get sunburned or overexposed; they do it out of vanity or laziness or carelessness. We DO have to eat and be exposed to food; you can't just quit food cold turkey.

That said, you DO have absolute control over the type of food you expose yourself to. The easiest way to stop eating junk is to stop buying it. Make a rule, right now, that you're just not going to buy anything the doctor wouldn't approve of. When you're in the grocery store, imagine that there's a kind but stern doctor there with you, watching everything you put in your cart. And don't go into other places that sell junk food. If you had a small child, would you take her into a huge candy store and say, "You can't have anything here?" You'd just be asking for a tantrum. Don't do that to your own inner child. Pay for your gas at the pump instead of going into the gas station convenience store, and don't ever go to fast-food places. If you're travelling or have a short lunch hour, it's actually faster to go into a grocery store and get some yogurt or a little cup of cut-up veggies and hummus, etc, and it'll save you money, too.

There are lots of easy ways to lose enough weight to get you out of the obese category. Getting from overweight to healthy weight is hard, but getting from obese to overweight really isn't. Start right now, by setting up your account here and putting everything you remember eating yesterday into the tracker. Then throw away any junk food you have in the house, and PLAN a healthy menu for today and tomorrow. Record those two healthy days in the tracker before you eat. That often makes it easier to stick to the plan, because you're not going to want to go to the work of going back in and changing everything.

Focus on losing 5% of your current weight. That's enough to make a significant difference in your health, and it won't be that hard. If you're morbidly obese, you can probably lose 5% just by always asking yourself, "Is this food good enough to be worth the calories? Do I really love this, or am I just eating it out of habit?" You won't have to give up any foods you really love to lose the first 5-10%. After that, you still won't have to give them up, just eat them less often and/or swap them for healthier foods that you love just as much.

Don't think about getting to "normal" weight yet. Let yourself think that it's probably not even possible. You don't know if it is possible, but you DO know that getting down from morbidly obese to just obese is totally possible because it hasn't been that long since you were there. Do what you KNOW is possible first, and after that it'll be easier to try what *might* be possible.

GERARLAUR Posts: 341
3/22/13 10:34 A

Wow! Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.

GEVANS7 SparkPoints: (267,548)
Fitness Minutes: (163,144)
Posts: 2,119
3/22/13 10:33 A

First - here's a big hug. Take it.

After my last check up, my doctor wanted to send me straight to the hospital for a liver biopsy in addition to be tolding I am now a diatbetic. I've had a year of medicine, tests, surgey. I said, "NO, time out". I sat in my car stunned and then drove straight to the health food store and committed myself to 3 months of cleansing before I retake blood tests.

It's not easy but the first thing you have to do is get your head in the right place and find a doctor who will work with you along with the lectures. You can't fight fire with fire.

I have a morbidly obese sister who is healthier than me.

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,280
3/22/13 10:29 A

A lot of us needed to reach our own TURNING POINT before we stopped the Denial and took charge of our lives. Be grateful that it wasn't an emergency room event that made you see the light. Use the Shock to get you moving and turn your life around. Life is all about can do can make the changes you need to make...but you have to change what you are doing and let go of what you have always done (going to food for comfort) . Start working on what you really want instead.

Your using Spark. ... that's a great start.
Read the books, get with the program, log your food & exercise, journal your thoughts.
Join some teams, join a challenge. ...
Go for some Professional help if you need to (nutritionists, therapy)
Don't make excuses...Start taking steps....You are never to old to turn your life around.
This is YOUR something about it.

Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 3/22/2013 (10:41)
KARA623 Posts: 727
3/22/13 9:53 A

What the doctor said was not said to hurt you. No one wants to hear "morbidly obese," but it's a clinical term. Instead of feeling bad about where you are, use it to make a change. You know in your head that hiding from the truth because the truth hurts will not change the truth.

Face the truth. Face it. Fix it. Make one small step towards fixing it today. Those foods will taste good while you're eating them, but when you're finished, the guilt and self-condemnation will taste like crap, and you'll beat yourself up, and you will not be in a place mentally or emotionally to make any changes. I used to turn to food for comfort, too, and it has taken me years to get to a healthy place (I'm down 125 lbs as of last week). I sometimes will still eat our of stress, and for me, not keeping those foods in my house helps.

My biggest tip, though, for dealing with the junk food craving is this: Make it work for you. When you are craving the junk that you love, acknowledge it, but don't have it right then. Don't even have it that day. Wait. Plan to have a single serving of it another day when you can fit it into your overall plan for your day. Making yourself wait will help you to learn discipline, and you will get stronger. Not denying yourself totally will help you to learn to enjoy having those things on occasion and in moderation without going crazy and eating it all.

Give yourself time to master a couple of good habits, and then make another step towards good health.

DATTEBERR SparkPoints: (5,640)
Fitness Minutes: (1,261)
Posts: 534
3/22/13 9:42 A

Saw this saying on one of my residents t-shirts last evening.
"Getting old is manadatory. being old is not an opition"
It's all what's in your head. You can do it. Stay strong and try getting back on track again.

GLITTERFAIRY77 Posts: 8,023
3/22/13 8:47 A

If you're not going to do anything to fix the situation, you're not allowed to complain about it. That's how I see it. Sorry, Sweetheart. You're not doing yourself any favors by feeling sorry for yourself because of some news you already knew. Instead of buying the junk, you should have gone to the produce section. I know it can be hard. Heck, look at my ticker! It isn't easy at first, and may not ever get easy, but if we want to live, we cannot feel sorry for ourselves. We have to get mad at ourselves for doing what we knew we shouldn't have. You are committing suicide if you don't do something about this, as I was by letting myself get back to this point. It is WORK to lose weight. It is work to make healthy choices 90% of the time. It is work to exercise, but if you want to live, you do what you have to do, because there are no magic solutions, no miracle pills-none of that. We did this to ourselves. We have to undo it.
OLD is not an excuse either. My mother will be 60 years old this July. In 2006, she weighed 280lbs, just about, and she lost that weight. She gained back about 20-25 of it, and she's lost it again.
What you eat can also affect your mood. You're poisoning yourself with the junkfood. Eating consistently healthy for a week is great, but at first, while your cells clean themselves out, you're going to feel like crap. If you continue to constantly eat healthily, your mood will change as will your energy.
If you are serious about moving from morbidly obese to obese to just overweight, and maybe even to a healthy weight-you can do it. It is about PROGRESS, not perfection. Making the right choices most of the time instead of some of the time. Eating a salad one day is not going to make a difference in your weight or health anymore than washing one dish in a sink full of dirty dishes is going to make the whole kitchen clean.

DIDS70 Posts: 5,368
3/22/13 8:35 A

Now you can take that hurt and pain that you got from your doctor and really do something about it. Use that when you think about eating garbage. think will this "thing" that I am eating keep me in the morbidly obese category?

THINNYMINNY SparkPoints: (35,135)
Fitness Minutes: (20,491)
Posts: 3,744
3/22/13 7:04 A

Oh, how I hate labels!
I have gotten my feelings hurt many times.
My suggestion is to try to separate yourself from the feelings associated with the label. Think of your doctor as a consultant--not someone judging you, but rather a paid professional, whom you have employed to deliver factual information and ideas or directions on how to improve if you make the choice to do so.
The main thing is you are not those feelings you associate with the label. And you have the power to change that label if you want to.
***If your physician isn't the right consultant for you, see if you can find someone who is. It is important to have someone who is honest and direct (remember you want your helper to give you the facts) and it is important to have someone who is compassionate as well.
Good luck on the steps you are taking. Chin up, my friend!

KISSFAN1 Posts: 6,257
3/22/13 6:28 A

It is hard enough admitting to ourselves that we are in that category, but to hear some one say it (particularly a person who is in a high position in our society) is very hurtful and cuts to the core.

I was in the obese category years ago (I weighed almost 200 pounds and I'm only 5' 4") and I knew it, but to hear it was not easy.

I am/was an emotional eater but I worked on why I was that way and what was causing me so much pain. It was not easy and took decades to be honest with what was really going on. I had an idea but couldn't emotionally deal with the pain so tried to cover it with eating emotionally instead, which, of course, made it worse because I gained more.

You have to hit a point in your life where you realize and admit to yourself that YOU MATTER. You are important and life is short and not easy at times, but you still deserve to be happy and live a productive life on this earth.

My pain came from my mother and other childhood situations and I always thought it was my fault (even as a child) because I had been taught that by three very authoritative people in my life at the time. My parents and a church leader.

I've dealt with the emotional eating by saying to myself that I am important and so is my happiness. If these people (who abused me) can't be positive and enrich my life, then I will have no part in their abuse anymore. I am important enough to be happy and to stop it because I can do so now that I am an adult.

Hugs to you and hope you're able to work through this. Remember baby steps are powerful.

Edited by: KISSFAN1 at: 3/22/2013 (06:29)
FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
3/21/13 11:39 P

I'm sorry that he hurt you, they are free with calling a person that even when a person isn't morbidly obese. I'm just wondering how large the doctor was that said that to you? I know some doctors that scold you like a child saying you need to take control of your weight and some are larger then the patient.
You came to the right place to vent maybe next time instead of picking up something to self medicate you can come here to vent instead we're all here to support you. Or maybe next time get skinny cow fudge bars at least if you have to have something they only have 100 calories and taste like 1,000. emoticon

3/21/13 8:54 P

Get the message intended by your doctor. Start working on losing weight. Do it slowly, and you will succeed. Buying garbage food isn't helping you or your weight. Get your attitude straight, and the road will become easier,

PITUFA2471 Posts: 568
3/21/13 8:51 P

No....I liked all the results

I_HEART_MY_FAM Posts: 1,809
3/21/13 8:48 P


SASSYBRUN Posts: 192
3/21/13 8:11 P

I think you've come to the right place for support.

First, I'm sending you a big hug, and lots of good thoughts.

Perhaps you feel that way because getting back to "normal" seems like a huge goal. Remember to take it one step at a time. There's a saying about a journey of 10,000 miles beginning with one step.

Also know that when you feed your body good food (not junk) you're immediately making a difference. You love your body and yourself when you feed it right.

A 10% weight loss (25 lbs for a 250 lb person) has a huge impact on your health.

Treat yourself right, play the long game.

Best wishes for your health and happiness.

APPLETOWNGIRL SparkPoints: (641)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 1
3/21/13 8:03 P

I know I am obese, but I was recently put into the morbidly obese category on Tuesday and immediately found myself at the store buying garbage again. It hurt so much to actually hear someone say that even though I feel that way already. Then of course I have to feed my hurtself with comfort food, just what I needed.

I am tired of trying to eat right, only to go back to eating junk after several months. I have to be sooooo careful every minute of the day and so conscious of what I put in my mouth. Sure I can lose it, I have about 20 times before, but can't seem to keep the good eating habits in check.....I am old now and still fighting this neverending battle.

I am sorry I am complaining and feeling sorry for myself because I am certainly blessed, but t hank you for letting me write it out.

Page: 1 of (1)  

Other SparkPeople Cafe Topics:

Topics: Last Post:
Oculus? What dyu think? 4/14/2016 5:52:27 AM
Being A Supervisor... Is Annoying 4/8/2016 12:13:06 PM
Stunted growth! 1/6/2016 6:46:39 PM
High blood pressure blues. 8/18/2016 6:30:59 PM
Happy Leap Day! 3/23/2016 2:12:26 AM