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4/4/13 10:35 A

I want to thank all of you for all your kind words. I have not been to the gym since Monday but I am not going to beat myself up about it. I may not go the rest of the week and start back on Monday. I need to spend some time with my husband who is going through his own depression and his worsens mine. I may be back to vent again but for now I feel a little better. Thanks again you guys. :-)

BETHS60 Posts: 569
4/1/13 10:31 A

Don't be sorry for venting. That's what we're here for.

You have a lot of stress right now, and you body is doing the best it can do to try to keep you alive. Don't beat yourself up. You have been making good choices to lose those 20 pounds. That is something to be proud of.

Try to get outdoors during daylight hours for 20 minutes a day. The sunlight in your eyes has been shown to help with mood. Maybe walking the dogs or putting the toddlers in the stroller would make a good excuse. The increased exercise will help with mood, too. Also, getting away from the negative people will help, too. If you can manage it, this would be a win-win-win. (And you may get a 4th win for improving the mood of the dogs or the little boys.)

SZERETLEK SparkPoints: (66,422)
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Posts: 421
4/1/13 8:29 A

I feel for you. I'm struggling with negative people in my life who make me irritable and grouchy with them and then very sad/borderline depressed when I'm alone. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives--please join me in doing something small and healthy for yourself--drink your water, or eat a couple of pieces of fruit, or talk a short walk--just do it for you. Good luck. emoticon

CIRANDELLA SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 6,094
3/31/13 10:08 P

emoticon to you, first and foremost, MADAMCLEOFET. You've been avalanched by some very stressful situations, as you described them. It may well be that you could use some minor adjustments in the meds you take; I'd talk to my prescribing MD about that and see. Sometimes, you can get a huge assist that way when the stress is cranked up.

It is quite stressful to be the executor of an estate - paperwork out the proverbial ol' wazoo! I've been in that position... if it gets to be too much, you can always get some assistance from a good CPA. I had to do that myself, and it was a real boon. That, on top of losing your mom, would've been stress enough, but you've got considerably more stress than that - the day-to-day variety. And then there's the stress of the weight gain...

I liked what ARCHIMEDES said re the support personal at your WLS practice; don't hesitate to use them. They're familiar with some of the stressors that can feed into weight gain and can help you deal with them.

There are many avenues here to look into, and I know that right now's the time when you least feel like it. But if you could manage to do just one proactive thing a day to further your progress, I know it would all add up for you down the line...and you could look back at this time with a huge sigh of relief.

So glad you felt comfortable bringing up this complicated situation here, and I wish you much luck, strength, and peace in the days to come. Also, if you can, carve out an hour's worth of "me" time every day. I know from my own experience what a stress-buster that can be!

LOVEXAVIE SparkPoints: (42,809)
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3/31/13 9:19 P

Hope some of the advice above can help.
In the meantime, here's a giant cyber hug ((hug)).
I hope things get better for you and your burdens become lighter.

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (247,245)
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Posts: 26,809
3/31/13 8:52 P

Hi - you have a LOT going on at the moment - grief for the loss of your mother, and the stressors related to that and her estate, grief of the loss of freedom in your house, with your daughter and her babies with you, as well as facing depression in itself.

I strongly suggest that you make an appointment and talk with your Dr about what has happened, and is happening. It is quite possible that your medication needs tweaking. This isn't uncommon with p.meds. If you don't have a Therapist, then asking your Dr for a referral to one may prove to be a real God-send - speaking from experience!

If you haven't already, it would be beneficial to you AND to your daughter and her children, if you talk with your Daughter and get her to help more around the house. Your husband might like to help, too! By getting your surroundings in order it may help your emotional demeanor, and that of the others in the house, too!

Another thing that can help depression, and actually moods in general, is to ensure that you are eating well. That means quality protein rather than from processed meats; plenty of fruit and veges daily; whole-grains; good hydration; and some exercise. You don't have to go to the gym to get that, altho' with your house full, you might find that it gives you some peace away from the noise of your house - a place to think your thoughts while you work out.

Of course, we are here for you whenever you want to vent, too :-)

Good Luck,

VATRUCKER SparkPoints: (20,629)
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Posts: 526
3/31/13 4:50 P

It does a body good to vent every now and again. I to fight with depression but have been able to exercise it off with the help of medicines from my local veterans hospital. I really hope u pull out of this and continue on with your life IF U CAN GET RID OF SOME OF THE NEGATIVITY SURROUNDING YOU. From what I read its probably not possible but try, good luck emoticon

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (197,194)
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Posts: 27,079
3/31/13 3:01 P


It's tough to take care of yourself when you have to take care of so many other people and things. You do the best you can. You're not Wonder Woman. There is only so much you can do in a day. If you're not getting the support you need, it's not a wonder you're feeling overwhelmed.

I give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you do for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.

Don't beat yourself up because you've regained some of the weight. As the old song goes,"Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative". Give yourself credit for all the positive things you do for yourself and don't beat yourself up because you're not perfect. You don't have to be perfect to be healthy.

Take baby steps literally and figuratively. Start by going to the gym. It sounds like you need to get away from the house for a little while. try to take regular walks. walking is not only great cardiovascular exercise, it's a great way to reduce stress too. Do you have access to your bariatric support team ? I know that everyone who goes through WLS has a support team to help get them through the surgery. Continue to work with them for support if you can.

Everything will be alright ! Just take things slowly, one day at a time.

3/31/13 2:32 P

I am 6 years out from lap band surgery and has gotten to with in 5 pounds of goal in a year and a half then because of tremendous stress I made bad food choices and did not exercise and ganed about 35 pounds. I the last year I have tried to get back on track and have lost about 20 of those pounds. I start to exercise regularly and eat good and then after about two weeks I find an excuse to not go to the gym or to eat crap. I live with unbelivable stress and a house full o NEGATIVE people. my house is a mess and I do not have the ambition to get it in shape. My divorced 30 year old daughter and her twin 21 month old sons live with us and we have 5 small dogs. My husband is a horder of sorts and I am not much better. I am on depression and anxitity meds and have been fora long time. they don't seem to be helping much anymore. on top of all this my mother who we also took care of died last July and I am the executor of her estate. That is a big mess and we have a house to get rid of and they are not selling where we live. I am sorry for going on and on but I just needed to vent I guess. I intend to go to the gym tomorrow and also eat properly but who knows what tomorrow will bring. sorry again

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