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One of the greatest gifts you will ever give yourself is losing the weight. Who is it that is telling you you shouldn't even try? POPPYCOCK. This is your life. If your sister inspires you, let her. What a gift to have someone in the family that gives you positive motivation. Your reasoning about similar body build sounded logical to me.
That said, this will be your journey, not your sister's. You may find that healthy eating for you will be quite different than it is for her. I know thin people who eat terribly. I wouldn't trade places with them for all the tea in China. Let your sister inspire you, but don't be bound to her. Don't try to do everything just like she does. Find your own path.
The neighsayers....lose them. Or at least be wary of them. What is their motivation for telling you not to try? I can't imagine not being supportive of someone trying to make a positive change.
My best wishes for success, patience, and perserverance on your journey.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.
TACDGB Posts: 6,136
11/18/12 7:02 P
just focus on one pound at a time. Don't focus what your sister weights as our bodies are so different. It is about a life style change and being healthy. Go get this..........Good luck.
AM_MORRIS87 Posts: 703
11/18/12 4:36 P
Well firstly, even if you did opt for a 176-187 lbs weight, isn't that a million times better than the weight you're at now? Think of how much easier it will be to perform physical tasks, or buy new clothes, etc. Think of how your quality of life will improve.
I'm shorter than you, (5' 7"), and I was in the same boat. I was an obese child, which turned into an obese teen, and then an obese adult. I had no "low weight" for adulthood. When I was 18 I probably weighed 250-260, but then once I got to 285 that was my constant weight until I was like 24. I use to pray just to be like 200 lbs. I thought, "even if I just weighed 200, I would look so much better." In fact, my goal weight is 160 lbs. Now that I'm at 175, I realize that I could probably go lower, down to 140 maybe. But the point is that I recognized the benefit of just getting to a lower weight, even if it was still considered obese. You need to do the same. Don't let people tell you that ___ would be an ideal weight for you, or base your weight off of your sister. You are your own person, and you are capable of what you BELIEVE you are capable of.
My sisters are twins and have always been so thin and athletic. I always thought they got the good genes. I always envied them and wondered why my body type couldn't be like theirs. Well once they got into college their weight started to creep up. And now for the first time in our entire lives, I weigh less than them. (And I'm 5" taller than them!) If I had let myself believe that I couldn't ever weigh less than them, I would be in a totally different place.
I'm not trying to lecture you, because I am literally drowning in self doubt. I hate myself, I hate my body. But I always remember "Thoughts become things." And even though I can't stand the sight of myself, I don't let that blur together with what I know I can achieve. I know I can continue losing weight and get to my goal weight. I visualize the body I want in my head. And even though I hardly believe I'm going to have some perfect dream body, I tell myself that I do believe it, and I visualize getting to my goal weight, and living a healthy life. I don't let the idea of gaining weight back even cross my mind. Your future and your reality is a product of your thoughts, and you have to have faith in your vision for yourself. You have to say, "I'm going to weigh ___," and you have to give it your everything.
There is never a reason to give up, because ANY amount of weight that you lose, is beneficial. Even if you only lost 20 more lbs, that would definitely effect your overall health. So even if you only ever got down to 231 again, or 200, or 180, that is such a HUGE improvement from 342. Don't let anyone discourage you.
CANADIANJULES Posts: 107
11/18/12 12:14 P
At 5' 11" and 170 lbs your BMI would be 23.7 and within a healthy range.
At 5' 11" and 143 lbs your BMI would be 19.94 which is within the healthy range as well, but kind of on the low end (you would likely be very bony- unless you have tiny, tiny bones).
I would think your first goal would be to get yourself within a healthy range and re-assess how you feel about your body then. If you still feel you have a lot to loose, then set a new goal weight (just keep in mind that loosing while in a healthy range can be a lot more difficult). You might find that somewhere between those goals is optimal, but it is hard to figure that out before you get there. I know I look my best (and feel healthiest) when my BMI is about 21-22, but everyone is different. Also, my sister's and I have very different body shapes and maintain very different weights while not looking that much different, so you shouldn't compare yourself to your sister (she may have less muscle, for example, which changes BMI ). Anyways, best of luck on your weight loss journey! You have achieved so much so far; you are truly an inspiration and show true commitment to your goals!!! I am sure you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to; just remember to listen to your body and don't set your goals based on comparison, but rather based on how you feel!
GLITTERFAIRY77 Posts: 8,023
11/18/12 11:40 A
I couldn't agree with DROPCONE more!!! I have also dealt with obesity ALL my life. I am aiming more towards a goal size than a goal weight, because I know I don't want to be skinny-just healthier!
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DROPCONE Posts: 1,581
11/18/12 10:45 A
Try to avoid comparing your weight to your sister's weight. Just because you are sisters doesn't mean your bodies work the same way. There are many possible reasons she may be slim and you struggle with obesity, most of which are not under your conscious control (or hers).
I'm not saying you should never have a "stretch" goal. However, it's already going to be hard enough to get down to a reasonable goal, as you have already experienced. Your journey is yours, hers is hers. Don't worry about her, worry about you!
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NIRERIN Posts: 12,721
11/18/12 10:00 A
cross the 170 bridge when you come to it. at 230lbs, it's hard to know what you'll be like at that weight when you have never been there before. you may be just perfect, you may still have more to lose. so start by aiming for there. it doesn't have to be your final goal, but it's a great place to start.
do keep in mind that people who have been overweight tend to weigh a little more than people who were never overweight to begin with. remember that fat cells are like little tiny space bags that don't go away. when you gain weight you create new ones and fill them up, but when you lose, you only empty them out and store flat for their next use. and if you try to maintain as much muscle as you can as you lose, you're going to be leaner and therefore weigh more at the same size as your sister. which isn't a bad thing as more muscle means more flexibility in what you eat while maintaining [in other words, you can eat more to maintain].
let's pretend you live in miami, florida for a moment. and you want to go on a road trip up the east coast for vacation. you know you're going to myrtle beach [180lbs] for sure. but when you start thinking about maybe going a little farther since you've already come so far. i mean, dc is kinda close. and new york isn't that far. and boston's only a few hours beyond. and heck, nova scotia might be nice this time of year and you do have some extra time off coming up...
so don't focus on where you might want to be when you get there. focus first on getting the first 20 or 40lbs off. then focus on the second 20 or 40lbs. and if you're doing it by 20s, then by 20 and then 20 once more. those first 20lbs are much more important right now than a 30lb range 100lbs down the line. turn your energy to getting off what you know you need to right now and wait until you're below 180 to figure out how far below you want to be. and looking at a 100lb loss or a 140lb loss is intimidating. looking at a 20lb loss is doable.
and once you get under 180, go by tens or fives and see how your stamina is, how your muscle tone is, how your other markers of health are. and let those things be your guide along with how easy it is to maintain at each level. but don't worry about it until you get there.
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Trev, Kent Southeast UK
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I think that you are jumping the gun and by wanting to get down to that weight, you could end up suffering even more - emotionally - if you are unable to get there.... and you COULD be unable to get there. I would be inclined to work on smaller increments and see how it goes.
To be in a healthy BMI range, (which ISN"T the be all and end all guide) I should be a wee bit lower than I am now. My Dr actually told me a couple kg ago he didn't want me losing any more weight. Some people had commented to me that I was starting to look rather drawn and haggard in the face. He also told me that I had done really well to lose the weight that I had, and it had shown in my blood results improving considerably. He said that my body was in a lot healthier place now because of it.
I suggest that you don't compare yourself to your sister, or anyone else. Just look at YOU. Be guided by your Dietitians because they are the experts on this.
BTW - remember my comment about my Dr telling me he didn't want me to lose any more weight? Well, I am just under 5' 6".
I take it that the Dr's have checked for things like PCOS and Hypothyroidism. If not, it would pay to ask them to check your bloods because that can impact on weight.
Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 11/18/2012 (03:24)
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EOWYN2424 Posts: 6,546
11/18/12 3:18 A
COSMICWATCHER Posts: 1,017
11/18/12 1:53 A
when dietitians ask me what my lower weight was, i can't answer.
and i can't answer because being an obese child turned me into an obese teenager that turned me into an obese adult. i mean that, as i gained height, i also gained weight-lots of. so, there really isn't a lower weight, because a lower weight means a lower height. anyway, i initially weighted 342 lbs and came to be 231 lbs. i now am 270,6 lbs, despite my best efforts.
what i want to say, is that even if i am tall (5'11''), apparently a 231 weight is not a good one and it should not be my lower weight. i know it sounds far-fetched,but i'd like to come down to being 143 lbs. this is not a random number,though. i have taken my sister's BMI,who is only 1 inch shorter than i am, and calculated based on my height my ideal weight (my sister is and has always been a slim girl). i mean we are sisters, so if she can be slim, why can't i?
and here is the problem: i've been told that i should opt for a 176-187 weight cause i will be unable to reach,let alone maintain a lower-say 143- body weight.
but my body,apart from the excess weight, is very much like my sister's body.
should i not even try? do you think that my sister should not be my hope and my example to a healthy and slim body? has what i'm saying nothing to do with genetics?thank you.
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