I first want to thank you for your emails and notes of concern for me and I am disappointed with myself for not finding the words or time to express what has been going on in my mind. First, I am fine. I found myself a bit disoriented and forgetful in June, partially because of my family living with me, but mostly it was just overload. I often found myself overwhelmed when I logged on to Sparkpeople with the prolific postings and found that not only was I having trouble keeping things straight about your lives but I was also forgetting important things with my own family. I had that tipping point moment in mid-June when I forgot to say “Happy Birthday” to my daughter who was living with me and didn’t remember to until 3PM. I didn’t really forget it was her birthday, but so many other things were overwhelming me at the moment. It was at this moment that I decided that I was on “information overload” and became concerned about my memory. I have the constant worry about Alzheimer’s because of my mom and felt just not myself.
One reason that I didn’t want to bring this up was because you all have such a warm relationship with one another sharing the details of your days, but I just can’t keep up with that. I found myself getting details and issues confused or didn’t recall ever reading about some things. The huge number of postings became something that I increasingly wanted to avoid so I just stopped logging on, cold turkey. I didn’t want any of you to ever feel that postings the details of your lives was wrong, but I decided to invest myself in helping others face to face. I now mentor women in troubled marriages through the church and meet with them weekly or biweekly. While this doesn’t give me an opportunity to share my life’s concerns, I feel this is what I am supposed to do. I also have been trying to structure my time better to be more accountable in how I use this precious gift. I also decided to work on my relationship with my newly widowed sister and have been regularly dedicating time to her.
One thing I plan to do in the future is to write memoirs and “how to” sorts of articles. I am going to start in a writer’s group to allow them to mentor me and help me clean up my writing/grammar. I have done a bit of that in the past and think that is what I am to do. I also need to be serious about my physical health and we are starting back in a Bible study tonight. Starting back to school is staring me in the face.
I wish you all the best in your health and personal lives and great happiness. Perhaps I will write a memoir about this group! You have been so precious!
Blessings to you all,