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ANARIE Posts: 13,175
4/5/12 11:43 A

For the moment, forget the weight. You're smack in the middle of the "healthy" range, so while it may bother you, it's not a serious health issue.

What IS an issue is the way you eat, and that's an issue for the whole family. You (AND your DH-- don't let him off the hook!) owe it to the kids to set a good example. Ask yourself, "How do I want these kids to be eating when they're 20?" and eat that way yourself, because whatever they see you doing is what they will do. Even kids who don't get along with their moms still will eat exactly the same way as young adults. Dads have an influence too, but moms are by far the main role model when it comes to diet (even for boys.)

Start with something relatively easy-- more fruits and vegetables. Even if you're going to have chicken nuggets out of a bag for dinner, it doesn't take any longer to toss some asparagus on the sheet to roast while the nuggets cook, dump pre-washed lettuce out of a bag into a salad bowl, and slice up a red pepper and maybe an orange or a mango to toss with the lettuce. In about 4 to 6 minutes, you've made two or three veggie servings. Give them a pear or a few "Cutie" clementines for dessert, and that's most of the fruit and veg for a day.

And remember that things like spaghetti sauce out of a jar also count as veggies. Sautee some mushrooms, peppers, and zucchini while the pasta is cooking, and your spaghetti or lasagna can be 4 veggie servings! If you also gave the kids some baby carrots and an apple in their lunch, you've got them covered, and it really hasn't taken you any extra time.

Getting the kids involved in cooking is also helpful. They're more likely to eat things they helped prepare, even if "helping" just means mixing the salad or putting frozen veggies in a bowl for you to microwave. Even pre-schoolers can do those things. Having them in the kitchen might slow you down a little, but you make up the time by not having to fight as much to get them to eat.

And what time does DH get home? Any chance he can take over getting the kids off to school when he gets home, or putting them to bed before he leaves? That's not just about helping you; more importantly, it'll give them some time together. My dad worked nights for a while when I was little, so he was the one who made sure we got breakfast and collected all our books and stuff. If he hadn't done that, we wouldn't have seen much of him when he was on night shift. It's good for the kids to have some "Dad time."

And having Grandma take them to McDonalds is great, too-- but don't waste that time by going with them! She probably offered specifically so that she could be alone with them and you would get a break! Stay home and exercise or do some batch cooking or just take a nap. Let them have time together, and avoid any chance that you'll be tempted. (Again, you don't want the kids to see you eating that stuff. They don't model themselves after grandparents; they eat what mom does. A happy meal once a week isn't going to harm them, because happy meals are for kids and they'll grow out of them. But if they see you eating an adult value meal once a week, they'll form the idea that hamburger combo meals are a normal thing for adults to eat.)

Also, next time you see the doctor, talk about your weight. You definitely need to improve your nutrition, but you might not actually need to lose any weight. At 5'10", getting down to 140 would give you a BMI of 20. That might not be realistic or healthy anymore. When you have children, your bones become slightly more dense and you gain some tissue that's not fat-- breast tissue and blood, especially. You might not have as much excess fat as you think. If you focus on eating better and getting some exercise, your weight will probably take care of itself-- you'll lose if you need to, but if you don't lose, it might not be any reason for concern.

4/5/12 11:16 A

My family and work situation is not similar to yours, but hopefully some of my ideas can be of help to you anyway.

I'd like to suggest trying Leslie Sansone's cardio and strength DVDs. Your children are old enough that you should be able to work out with her DVDs right in your living room or family room, you really don't need much room in front of your tv to get a good workout. Your local library may have some of the Sansone DVDs (and/or books) you can try for free, and she has a brand new one that I think is a lot of fun... "Ultimate 5 Day Walk Plan." I've tried many of her DVDs but this one has quickly become one of my favorites from her. (I borrowed it from the library and will be purchasing it soon from Amazon.)

Maybe try losing three or five or ten pounds at a time and not think in terms of losing twenty pounds... mini goals. However, are you sure 140 pounds should be your goal for your 5'10" height? Check a BMI (body mass index) chart here on Sparkpeople. I just looked and although 140 pounds is healthy for your height, so is 150, 160 and 170 (as well as 130). I do think sometimes people set too stringent of a goal. I lost quite a bit of weight a few years back and when I see pictures now of me at that time, I don't look as healthy as I thought I looked. I became too thin (although within a healthy BMI range) and it was much too hard to maintain. So now I'm allowing my weight goal to be more relaxed and hoping to be able to better maintain fitness. And... it's okay to be a work in progress. We humans are just not perfect in any way, shape, or form.

Mix up your eating and exercise routine so your body is always in for a little surprise and not just in the habit of same old, same old.

Make sure not to go overboard on a fitness plan to the neglect of your children (that's a personal peeve of mine) but those kids' mommy does need regular (minimal at this point in your life?) exercise time for herself or she won't be as healthy for them! Even if you never get to 140, if you're in the habit of regular cardio exercise you'll just feel better overall and if you throw in some strength training (again you don't need to go overboard), your metabolism will be better because of improved muscle mass. Then that should help burn calories more efficiently.

I personally think drinking the recommended eight glasses of water daily helps with weight loss. This is almost torture for me because I'm not usually very thirsty and I choose not to do that anymore, but I've tried it in the past and believe it did help me with weight loss. Your choice to try it, though, different strokes for different folks. :)

Have a blessed day!

Edited by: ALLTHNGSTHRUHIM at: 4/5/2012 (11:18)
4/5/12 10:53 A

Thank you all for your advice. I used to be a dedicated exerciser, 6 days a week taking Sundays to rest. I find my motivation is lacking bigtime. Now I try to do at least 3-4 mornings a week and I feel such guilt if I don't work out. I really have to get a handle on my eating too. We eat take out at least 2 times a week just because I feel like i don't have enough time, but I know that is a horrible excuse. It has also become a weekly thing for my mother in law to take the kids to McDonalds every Wednesday and I have jumped on the band wagon too. I always have good intentions that I will order a salad but when I get there, I can't resist the temptation of a hamburger combo. I really want to get motivated this time. Any tips????

2BEATIT1 Posts: 3,162
4/5/12 10:41 A

Jen gave you some very good advice.
I also gained with my kids. However my weight was 6 months later not while carrying them.
After the 2nd child, i kept going up. It was only after coming to Spark that I lost serious weight.
I have learned a hard lesson this past year though. I have neglected exercise because i couldn't afford to go to the gym and walking outside for me is difficult on my feet and even more complicated when it rains and the nerve problem kicks in. I have truly learned that healthy eating is not enough but needs to be coupled with exercise. So like Coach Jen said, so small segments each day. Take time for yourself as you will be better for the kids. Also try and prepare meals ahead. Even when i was working full time I cooked healthy meals. It is the packaged foods that pack on the pounds due to the salt and other dangerous preservatives. All the best to you.

JASTAMPER11 SparkPoints: (57,593)
Fitness Minutes: (35,465)
Posts: 2,323
4/5/12 10:36 A

I agree to start small....just look over the videos and the exercises. There may be some that you can do while vaccuming or laundry.

You can also check out the bootcamps. I did one 3 months in a row....doing more each time even though it was the same exercises.

TIME2BLOOM4ME SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (84,670)
Posts: 5,104
4/5/12 10:34 A


SPARK_COACH_JEN Posts: 65,259
4/5/12 10:30 A

Welcome back to the site! My advice is to start small. Don't feel like you have to make lots of major changes to your life all at once, because that's too overwhelming. For example, can you find 10 minutes a few times a day to squeeze in some exercise? If you could do 10 minutes when you get up in the morning and 10 minutes at lunch, that's a 20-minute workout right there. Planning ahead will help with meals. Just because you're on the go doesn't mean you can't eat healthy. If you've got time on the weekends to do some batch cooking, that will help with weeknight meals and even lunches you could take to work.

Hope that gives you a start. If you have more questions, let us know! You can do it!

Coach Jen

4/5/12 10:19 A

Good morning,

I am in need of some support. I have an 8 year old son and a 5 year old daughter. After my son was born I had gained 100lbs in my pregnancy. I lost it all and then some within 9 months and felt wonderful. When pregnant with my daughter I swore I would not let myself gain that kind of weight again and I worked out everyday - even the day that I delivered her I had worked out in the morning! I still managed to gain almost 70lbs. I am not naturally a large person, and even now people would not consider me large. I am 5'10 and 160 lbs. My ideal weight is 140 lbs, and I just can't seem to get these 20lbs to budge. My thought train has totally changed since having 2 children as opposed to one. My life is so busy and chaotic that I choose sleep over exercise when I can and I eat bad food because I am on the run all the time (I also work Mon-Fri 9-5) and my husband works nights (opposite shifts than I) so I am basically with the kids from the minute I get up in the morning and take them to school and go to work myself and then when I come home from work all night. It's very stressful and I know tons of single moms do this, so I don't complain, but over the last 5 years I have learned to cope with it and have established a routine. BUT my eating habits and exercise habits have become so poor. Can anyone help? I have been saying "I'll start tomorrow" for the last 5 years. I need help and I am finally reaching out for it. I have tried to use this site several times in the past and it got blown off my radar. I am serious about losing these 20lbs now and if there is anyone out there that can has some helpful words, I would greatly appreciate it.


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