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blended families with shared custody



 
 
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NATEYNELLY
Posts: 677
1/20/11 10:49 P

I have a stepdaughter and I've been very lucky. Her schedule with us hasn't changed since the day the parenting plan went into action. It's so hard to get a routine together when their schedule is so hectic.



MOMOF3FORLIFE
SparkPoints: (29,211)
Fitness Minutes: (52,208)
Posts: 304
1/20/11 10:30 P

When my hubby and I got together, we each had a child. We also have one together, so we totally have a blended family. We have custody of one and visitation with another. It's rough because his son, whom we have visitation with, has a completely different lifestyle at his mom's house...no rules, eats nothing but fast food, can do whatever he wants, plays video games, argues with him mom all the time...it makes it rough when he comes here because he hates what we cook, and he argues with us constantly! We're working on teaching him to deal with rules and eating real food, getting exercise regularly and so many other things. He hates it when he first gets here, but then he really enjoys his time here. It's rough, but it's worth it to try to give him a better life and a better home environment.

It's not always easy when you are dealing with a blended family. It's important to show each member of the family that they truly belong to the family, no matter what their visitation schedule is. Good luck to all of you :)



MELODYTARYN
Posts: 403
1/18/11 7:32 P

It's good to see someone else in a similar situation. I know a few around here but no one who is trying to get fit and add good eating habits and exercise to the already chaotic routine. I used to be a planner but I've definitely learned to be flexible in the last three years. My daughter is 7 and my step-kids are 10 and 7 so they are now starting to help as well but I am not so organized.



ANMRUNNER
Posts: 1,809
1/18/11 5:59 P

Melody,

I'm in a similar situation. My husband and I have custody of his son but he has visitation with his grandparents every other weekend plus on the opposite weeks, he goes there for two days during the week. Even though it's a "regular" schedule, every other week is different in our house.

It's been a challenge to figure out time to workout, spend time together (as a couple and as a family), cook, clean, etc, but it works because we're flexible. On Saturday or Sunday I sit down and take a few minutes to make up a schedule for the week. I write down each day of the week, then include anything we're doing after work, etc. Then I plan my meals. I also make notes like "Take chicken out to defrost" so I'm always on top of my schedule. That list gets posted to the fridge once it's ready.

We clean on a rotational basis. My bathrooms get scrubbed every 2 weeks but get wiped down every week. My kitchen gets scrubbed every week. Laundry gets done whenever either of us notices we have a build-up in the baskets. Vacuuming generally happens when I notice it needs to be done, unfortunately.

My husband and I are runners so we work our runs in around if we have the baby or not. We have a jogging stroller which we use, but it's sometimes just easier to run without the kid in tow. If the kid is home, we usually rotate who runs. My husband doesn't mind running at night so sometimes I run mornings and he runs at night; other times we just each run every other morning.

Sorry for the long post, but I sometimes feel like no one understands my situation either! It's tough having back-and-forth with kids. Your situation is even more random, so it must be even worse for you. Hang in there!



MELODYTARYN
Posts: 403
1/18/11 9:17 A

Is anyone here in my situation? I have a daughter with custody arrangement of week on week off with her father and my stepkids custody arrangement is dependant on my boyfriend's work schedule and as he is a seasonal fisherman varies throughout the year depending on the season but roughly works out on average to about 2 days a week. The schedule is always different but so far was workable but I am struggling with getting into a routine because life is always changing. Anyone else feel this way and if so what do you do to cope?



 
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