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10/31/13 11:54 A

I am really careful online. I use SP as an 'alter ego' having changed some dates and details about myself on purpose. I don't think it is lying, my views, opinions and how I care about my friends are real.
I hate it when people add friends on SP like scalp collectors. I use Friend Feed to keep up to date with my friends, updates and blogs etc. Reading through pages of X has added UIO as a friend BUGS me.

LEC358 SparkPoints: (11,135)
Fitness Minutes: (6,555)
Posts: 2,744
10/31/13 8:50 A

The internet is definitely not a happy,shiny place full of light where everyone has good intentions. Part of being a good online friend is recognizing and respecting other people's boundaries and privacy. I like posting on the forums but I see no real need to maintain my spark page because it's just another avenue for people to learn stuff about me that they don't need to know. Hell, I don't even let people tag pictures of me on facebook.

KKKAREN Posts: 12,754
10/31/13 8:48 A

LPVE4KITTIES: I don't add just anyone to my friends list. If someone friends me I check out their sparkpage, if they are set to public, and if they have hundreds of friends on their page I don't friend them. I feel like they will not be able to be an active friend to me if they have hundreds. I once saw a women that had over 10,000! This is not facebook after all. I only friend if someone has a manageable set of friends and they appear to have something in common with me.

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
Fitness Minutes: (82,255)
Posts: 2,954
10/31/13 12:30 A

JUSTEATREALFOOD - I usually look at how many friends the person has already on their SPage...I mean I know people with over 100 plus friends they are adding them just to add them. I have 47 SP friends and keep in contact with most of them. Every year I see who is still on SP and those who haven't posted in 6 months or so, I defriend as I don't think they are still around.

AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (74,443)
Posts: 3,293
10/28/13 5:25 P

Dave, just based on a few things that you have posted here, I was able to do some quick googling. I'm pretty sure that I know how old you are, your exact address and what your religious denomination is. With a little probing I bet that I could get a lot more personal details from you--perhaps enough to steal your identity.

Obviously I am not going to do that--but someone else surely could. While 99% of the people on Spark are lovely and here for legitimate reasons...well, you never know. There is nothing wrong with being a bit prudent any time you are on any social networking site.

If you want to flagrantly put yourself at risk--well, nobody can stop you from being careless. However, I think that other people have every right to set their personal pages to private if they want to do that, or just to be careful about not giving out too many details.

And yes, if I were your friend and I found you posting my picture without permission I would NOT be happy. Depending on the context of the situation, it might be something worth ending a friendship over.

ANARIE Posts: 13,185
10/28/13 4:54 P

Dave, do you understand that if someone posts about their family, bad people can figure out where they live and where they are? A local TV news program in my hometown showed how easy it was. They went on Facebook and chose children who did NOT post any obvious personal information, but had pictures of themselves inside their homes. From that, the reporters were able to see architectural features that told them what contractor built the house, and school colors or logos that told them what school the kids attended. They could then look up the addresses of homes built by that contractor in that school district, and drive around the neighborhood until they found one that matched the details in the photo. (You can tell from the windows which side of the street a house is on, for example.) Then, if the child posted something about after-school activities, they would be able to guess what time the child would be walking home and they could have been there to intercept the child. It took them less than an hour to do all of that. People who have children or grandchildren should NEVER post photos on open internet sites.

You have a status update on your page asking whether you should be able to post friends' pictures without their permission. The answer is NO. I know your name and where you live. If I lived near you, I could figure out where and when the photos on your page were taken, and if I recognized any of your friends, I would then know things about their personal life, probably including some information about their religious beliefs. It is wrong for you to expose that information without their knowledge and consent. If *they* choose to reveal things about themselves, that's their decision, but you shouldn't take that choice away from them.

DAVEMALYON SparkPoints: (403)
Fitness Minutes: (5)
Posts: 166
10/28/13 3:44 P

i choose to put me and my family up for everyone to see good or bad

ANARIE Posts: 13,185
10/28/13 10:56 A

It's a choice. If your page is public, it will show up in Google searches and image searches. That means it's not safe to post photos of yourself, it's DANGEROUS to post any information about your children, it's extremely rude to post photos of yourself that include any other people, and you could get in trouble if you post anything about your job. If you set your page to private, it's a little safer to let friends see what your kids and your house look like or mention where you work.

Not everyone you talk to on the bus is going to invite you to come home with them and have dinner with their family. It doesn't mean you're not a nice person (or they're not); it just means they have a different attitude about privacy and friendship.

10/27/13 8:50 P

"OP" = original poster

DAVEMALYON SparkPoints: (403)
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Posts: 166
10/27/13 7:40 P


SUZIEQUE77 SparkPoints: (9,271)
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Posts: 1,068
10/27/13 6:48 P

I don't set things to private because I think if anyone wants to see it badly enough, they will find a way. So my policy is to never post anything anywhere on the Internet that I would be worried about anybody seeing.

But then again, as far as I know, nobody has stalked me. I'm not that interesting I guess.

ATHENA1966 Posts: 3,957
10/27/13 6:34 P

The last OP is wrong, your page was not set to private.

DAVEMALYON SparkPoints: (403)
Fitness Minutes: (5)
Posts: 166
10/27/13 6:14 P



FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
10/27/13 2:48 P

your also set to private dave

DAVEMALYON SparkPoints: (403)
Fitness Minutes: (5)
Posts: 166
10/27/13 2:20 P


DAVEMALYON SparkPoints: (403)
Fitness Minutes: (5)
Posts: 166
10/27/13 2:19 P


DAVEMALYON SparkPoints: (403)
Fitness Minutes: (5)
Posts: 166
10/27/13 2:18 P


DAVEMALYON SparkPoints: (403)
Fitness Minutes: (5)
Posts: 166
10/27/13 2:17 P


DAVEMALYON SparkPoints: (403)
Fitness Minutes: (5)
Posts: 166
10/27/13 2:16 P


LOVE4KITTIES Posts: 4,690
10/27/13 12:58 P

I've always thought that it's proper etiquette here to add someone as a friend when they add you. That's what I do. I've added a couple of people as friends who haven't added me and, when that happens, I "defriend" them. Isn't being a friend a two way sort of thing?

JEFFGIRL Posts: 11,239
10/27/13 8:56 A

I have a friend set to private, and we have exchanged SparkMail. I admit I would like to give her SparkGoodies and have more access, but she must have her reasons. As a friend on my page, I don't believe I can send her comments. She also has me as a friend.

10/27/13 8:40 A

Bluenose - Is that the proper etiquette to add anyone that adds you as a friend? If so oops I haven't added very many people. I always thought it was odd that you can't see who has added you as a friend.

10/27/13 8:36 A

Lol, Dave, setting your page to private isn't proving any point to any one. I do share your frustration (on the flip side of the coin) as I have had many STALKERS in the past....why must folks do that!?

BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
Fitness Minutes: (82,255)
Posts: 2,954
10/27/13 7:28 A

Add the person as a Spark Friend to your page and when they see that, they will add you. Once you are added, you can add a comment to their page.

MLAN613 Posts: 18,619
10/27/13 7:24 A

Do you mean the person's Sparkpage was set to private? If so, that's not a bad thing. Some people prefer to have things as privately set as possible in the cyber world. If you truly waned to say something nice and find a private page, you can always send a private Spark message.

DAVEMALYON SparkPoints: (403)
Fitness Minutes: (5)
Posts: 166
10/27/13 4:55 A

i went to say nice things about valentine and then boom! set to private i feel like ive just wasted my time...can someone please explain?
its just how i feel... not good
ive only just started here am i missing something?

Edited by: DAVEMALYON at: 10/27/2013 (04:56)
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