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LILLIPUTIANNA Posts: 1,038
1/9/13 12:25 P

Lacegirl,

I understand COMPLETELY. In one year, I had a miscarriage (of a very wanted baby), my grandmother died, and my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer (she made it through thankfully). I ballooned up like nobody's business. I was constantly eating. Before that, I was always fit and thin.

Don't beat yourself up. I blamed myself for things I couldn't control. I lashed out at others, because I felt like they had failed or hadn't done enough. Don't do that! Understand that bad things happen, and that soon, good things will start happening again.

For me, I found that exercising to work out the frustration helped me (as long as I could get myself to get up off the couch). Try to stay active. Don't shut yourself off from the world. Let this difficult time make you STRONGER. If you can get through this, you can get through anything!

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (143,183)
Fitness Minutes: (214,185)
Posts: 20,997
1/9/13 5:00 A

LACEGIRL13,

I'm so sorry to hear of the death of your grandmother, but your family is right. Now is not the time to worry about losing weight. You're in a very fragile state and still mourning.

Gaining some weight does NOT make you a bad person. Here's the thing, good health isn't just about losing weight. If your head is not in a good place, you won't lose. If you're experiencing a lot of stress, you won't lose. This isn't a diet. In order to take the weight off and keep it off, you must be ready to make this a life style change.

Instead of worrying about trying to lose weight, start with some simple changes for the time being. Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. And definitely don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality. If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.

Just start with a couple of simple changes. Don't beat yourself up if you want pizza. Do this. Have a slice of pizza, but pair it with a BIG leafy green salad. Sit and savor that piece of pizza. Don't inhale it like a Hoover. Take your time to enjoy it. The faster you eat, the less likely you are to taste your food. And when you can't taste something, you'll keep eating until you do. Try to slow down.

Because you're under stress, this is when you really need to take care of your body. stress can break down a person's immune system and make them sick. Don't let that happen. Take baby steps literally and figuratively. Just a few simple changes. Try to drink more water. Try to take a walk each day. Try to eat more veggies. that's all. Every little bit really does make a difference. You have to believe that.

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SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (138,465)
Fitness Minutes: (33,284)
Posts: 21,857
1/9/13 4:57 A

Hi - I am sorry that you have lost your grandmother and now your grandfather's health is far from good. Grief can be very difficult. My own husband died very unexpectedly and suddenly a month ago. I had to do CPR on him for 10-15 minutes until medical assistance arrived. Unfortunately there was nothing anyone could do. Today has been a day full of the legalities of it all - the applying for a Widow's Benefit, the Bank, the Lawyer and bringing his ashes home. It can be rather hard to get our heads around at times and yet other times we can accept the reality. The reality is that once they have died, they don't come back regardless of how hard we wish it. We have our memories of them - in that form they will always be with us. Binge eating, or just plain over-eating or eating too much of the less healthy choices is not going to resolve anything. It won't bring them back, but it will cause us to have more anxiety/depression/guilt etc. I vote for the "eat healthy and eat healthily" team. Good nutrition will help you to get through this, the same as getting some exercise in. Good nutrition helps because your body is getting the nutrients it needs to help you to deal with this emotionally and physically, and the exercise does the same thing.

You mention you are already on antidepressants! Were you on them before your Grandmother died? If so, it is possible that you might benefit from a Dr's review of them, with the view to possibly increase them slightly for a little while. If you have only been on them a short while they may not have reached their full effect, but you should be reviewed sooner rather than later, anyway.

Take care, and remember, you NEED to take care of yourself!!
BIG hugs,
Kris

STARDUST2K4 Posts: 1,346
1/9/13 1:57 A

I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. Regarding the weight gain, it's likely that you're retaining water from all of the salty foods you mentioned-particularly the pizza.
As far as how to resolve that, only you can decide what is right for you. Just remember that even drinking an extra glass of water, and going for a ten-minute walk though small, is still a move in the right direction.

LACEGIRL13 Posts: 285
1/8/13 10:55 P

i was at 160 and ballooned to 172 in just a week- the week after the death of my grandmother and grandfather pronounced terminally ill. i am very depressed and stressed. i also have a living situation going on. ive also recently went threw a breakup just because a move was more important. im also an ex drug and alcoholic addict. everyone tells me do not try to diet its not the right time. the problem is i have problems eatting normally for instance yesterday i ate an entire pizza, a huge thing of fries, 2 beers like 5 sodas, fried rice and a yougurt. that is insain. its been easier to count calories but that is quite difficult right now. im already on antidepressants and seeing a therapist, so please dont make that advice.

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