I know exactly what you mean. I lost 60lbs, went from a size 22/24 to a 12/14 and sometimes, still, I see the fat woman I was.
We are our own worst critics. I think people would be shocked to hear how I talk to myself when I have a bad day, and when I use that negative self-talk, all I am doing is reinforcing my negative self image.
I am trying, but not always succeeding, at forcing the mental change. If I find myself saying something awful about myself, I focus on something positive. If I feel anxious in public, I force myself to stand up straighter and smile at people. If I remember to do these things, it really does help. Maybe something like this would help...
Dr. Roger Gould talks about it in "SHRINK YOURSELF". He has a web site and a great book. He says the voice in our heads "Harriet" needs to be told to SHUT UP since she is a lair. When you are looking in the mirror and have those thoughts about being that bigger girl still, it is about GUILT....you don't DESERVE to be that slim girl in the mirror. That isn't YOU, because that big fat girl is a FAILURE. Right? those are the real messages. Dr. Gould talks about this and how to put a stop to it. He has a 12 week course that many people have taken and found to be very helpful.
Fitness Minutes: (115,196)
274 9/18/13 2:13 P
I have lost 77 pounds and 7 dress sizes and while I can see the difference when I look in the mirror, I don't always "see" it. I'm sure that makes no sense. I hear pretty frequently that I look amazing, but when I look in the mirror, I still pretty often see the bigger girl I used to be.
Last weekend I went to buy new jeans, a size 8- I have NEVER been a size 8, so what should have been a moment filled with excitement and pride, turned out to be a moment filled with anxiety and embarrassment, like I didn't belong there. I kept thinking, these people are probably looking at me thinking "why are you in here, we don't carry your size." Mind you I wore this same style/ brand of jeans when I was several sizes bigger than I am now, and never once when I was bigger did I feel out of place in this store, but I was embarrassed to be there this time.
I know this is ridiculous and that I should be celebrating my hard work and totally rocking my new body, but I can't. I always still feel like a bigger girl. Does anyone else have this problem, and does it ever stop?
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