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MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,718
9/30/11 3:26 P

Bridesmaids dresses can be so expensive. I would also be upset to have to spend money on a dress I will never wear again and not get to walk or stand with all the bridesmaids.

Personally if it was me, I will tell the young lady about the church rules. Let her know she doesn't have to buy the dress. Still make her an honorary bridesmaid, give her a place of honor in the front row. And a corsage to denote her status.






Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 9/30/2011 (15:27)
ARKERLIN Posts: 88
9/30/11 12:26 P

I was in a similar situation and here's what I did:

I search Alfred Angelo's site for dresses in the color she wanted. I would a dress that I liked and suggested it to the bride. At first she was reluctant, but I think it's because she didn't like the idea of someone else picking her bridesmaids dresses. When she showed it to all the other bridesmaids...they loved it! It's now the dress we're going to wear.

Chances are, if you don't like the dress, the other bridesmaids don't either. Try and find a good alternative and show it to the bride. It might help!

ALLEYCAT12380 Posts: 625
9/28/11 1:54 P

not sure, but the honouray bridesmaid is in university, can't really afford to buy the dress, but was willing to for the friend. I would be mad myself to shell out that kind of dress and then not be able to stand up there with the bride.

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,718
9/28/11 11:59 A

@AlleyCat, I wonder what religion the bride is? I have heard of some religions where if you are not a part of the church you are not even allowed to go into the building.

I don't know if it is rude to make the girl an honorary bridesmaid. Perhaps the bride meant well as she still wanted her friend to participate. Her hands were tied by her religion.

I am glad my church doesn't have those kind of rules.

JENSMIT_UA Posts: 9
9/28/11 9:48 A

I have been in many weddings, and most of my friends have been very reasonable about bridesmaid dresses and expectations. So, naturally, I wanted to do the same for my wedding on Nov. 12, 2011. I have three sisters, so they are my only bridesmaids. Two just finished grad school and one is a new mom. I wanted them all to have an affordable dress that they would be comfortable in. I picked a length and color from David's Bridal, and then they picked the dress that best suited them. They all ended up with a dress that looks great on them, and they are all excited about how they look and feel. I think that is so important!

ALLEYCAT12380 Posts: 625
9/24/11 9:19 P

Someone wrote in to one of those Dear Amy type things about that actually. Well, the mother of the bridesmaid did. The bride asked the girl to be a bm, she said yes, even though she's going through university, paying her own way, whatnot. Then the bride mentioned to the girl a few weeks later, oh by the way if you're not of this religion (which the bm wasn't), apparently, she cannot walk down the isle, but you can be an honouary bm and sit in the front pew, still have to buy the dress and appear in all the other pics that aren't in the church. The mother of the bridesmaid was wondering if that was rude to mention, I am pretty sure it was.

ILUVPUDGE Posts: 28
9/24/11 8:20 P

Omg, $300 is a LOT for a bridesmaid dress. For me, if I'm asking them to pay for their own dress, I would designate a common color that is easy for them to find a dress they'll wear again, such as black or navy. Since I wanted a more specific color of nude/blush, I found and bought the dresses for them. I'm letting them alter it if they want to add a little of their own style, since I don't mind the dresses being different, and one of my bm doesn't want to show her arms. I wouldn't want them to not feel comfortable.

Oh another thing, I got these bm dresses for CHEAP on lulus.com ($35 each, 4 dresses total). They had so many nice dresses that it was hard to choose from, and many on sale. I like them much better than a lot of bridesmaids dresses that I saw for $100+. I emailed pics to each of my bridesmaids, and they all love it, saying it's definitely something they'll wear again.

You are a really nice friend for being such a trooper about it! In my past experiences being a bridesmaid, the bride either offered to pay for the dresses if she had a specific dress in mind, or she just let us pick and buy our own in the right color.

ALLEYCAT12380 Posts: 625
9/17/11 8:21 P

I only had a maid of honour. I went to one wedding where she had 7 (including the MoH). For me, I just wanted a small party. I told hy MoH to pick whatever dress flattered her, and if she wanted my approval, I would go and see it, but I didn't care. She wanted to know what my colour scheme was, I didn't really have one, she told me I had to pick a colour or else she'd go with neo-green bridesmaid dress. My response was if it's flattering on you, why would I care what it looks like? She was like D'oh. Wasn't happy. I'm like I want you to wear a dress that you'll wear again later. Ieven told her if she wanted to wear flip-flops down the isle, as long as it was comfy, I didn't care, as if I'll remember in 20 years (though if she did wear flip-flops, she didn't, I probably would remember and laugh).

I don't understand the demands myself. I was easy to please for the dress. She wore her high school grad dress for that day. Looked amazing on her. I didn't care about the shoes, make-up or how the hair looked like.

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,718
9/1/11 10:02 P

I know $300 is a lot. Does anyone watch 'Say Yes to the Dress; Bridesmaids' Where one bride decided that her bridesmaids would be wearing $700 gowns. When the Bridesmaids rebelled, she said they knew the gowns would cost at least $500. She didn't see how another $200 could hurt anyone.

They were these put the ugg in ugly purple Lazaro gowns and I love purple.

KIMPY225 SparkPoints: (63,865)
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8/29/11 1:59 P

Yikes. $300 seems to be expensive for a bridesmaid dress. I am getting married in 2012, and I am taking out my girls together. I know I want to get the same color gown, but I am not sure if I want them all to match or not yet. I am hoping one gown looks good on all of them but.. we will see. The gowns I saw online that I liked were between $120 and $180. I have been in two weddings, and yes all the gowns were the same. BUT we all got the chance to choose which gown it was.

RESILIENTBABE SparkPoints: (0)
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7/26/11 9:10 A

I don't understand the need to dress all your bridesmaids alike when they have different body types. Why do people still do this to their friends?? In my wedding, my bridesmaids are just dressing in gold and white and it's up to them to get a dress that looks good. I gave them a few links on http://www.gatheringguide.com/ec/bridal_sh
ops_dresses.html and told them I'd be happy to go shopping with them and turn it into a social day if they pick up to three stores. That way it's not too overwhelming for anyone, and I get to see the dresses before they're bought. Everyone wins.

LYNMOZ Posts: 5
7/23/11 7:26 A

Great discussion! I am getting married in November and have asked my bridesmaids to pick what they want in a specific color, Virginia Tech maroon! That way, they can definitely match up the appropriate shade of color but still pick any style that is flattering to their respective shape.

Edited by: LYNMOZ at: 7/26/2011 (09:43)
LINDENHEART Posts: 100
7/18/11 2:34 P

My ladies are wearing off-the-rack tan dresses. They are all in love with their own dress. The dresses look beautiful together, even though nothing but the general shade is similar. One girl has taffeta, another tulle, another satin, and the fourth a crocheted lace, but all the dresses are in the same family of beige so it really worked out. With all the thank you's I've gotten, I think this was the best choice for us.

NEWLYWED2011 Posts: 111
7/18/11 11:07 A

I do not understand why brides do that to their girls! We went with the Dessy Wrap Dress, which essentially ties 15 different ways. It fits the size 0 girls and the size 16 and looks good on both, however, if I were to dictate that it had to be this particular style, they would not all look good. I am a strong proponent of wearing it again if you're going to shell out the cash, so we even went with short (though my preference was long for an evening winter wedding), because the likelihood of them being able to reuse a long dress wasn't great.

We would have gone with off the rack, except the specific shade of red I wanted is not a standard. even David's Bridal didn't have the right red color.

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,718
7/8/11 9:55 P

@Thathotrungrl, that is fantastic. I am so glad that you found that dress.

There is a catalog called Chadwick's of Boston and they have some lower priced dresses that your Bridesmaids may like. They can go from $29 up to $100. And then there is always Burlington Coat Factory, Marshalls and TJ Maxx. And you can always pick a neutral color to tie the whole thing together.

THATHOTRUNRGRL Posts: 224
7/6/11 1:13 P

Exciting bridesmaid dress update! I had been checking out ebay and Recyled Bride in hopes that I would be able to get a used dress and what do you know, one appeared! It's a discontinued style, but it's tea length, cotton candy satin, and the bride approved of it. And the best part is that it not only fits perfectly but it was only $25 including shipping! I still think it's ugly and I will never wear it again, but for that price I am done complaining :)

And my boyfriend and I picked a wedding date (not until 2013 because of other commitments) but I have already decided that I am going to have my bridesmaids wear cute affordable off-the-rack dresses from a dept store. Typical "bridesmaid" dresses are too expensive for being so unwearable again.



GREENLISABEAN SparkPoints: (0)
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7/6/11 11:34 A

I'll probably only end up with a few bridesmaids - sister, 2 good friends - so we'll get together and either choose a style everyone likes, and then do complimentary colors, or choose a color everyone likes and then they can get it styled as they like.

Maybe I am too laid back but I would never want someone to wear something they felt uncomfortable in! That's just mean and selfish.

SITTINGPRETTI8 SparkPoints: (249)
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7/4/11 11:14 P

I'm having my bridesmaids all wear the same dress.. but their all fairly the same size and skin tone, so i guess i just got lucky with that.. personally i really hate when they all wear different dresses, because i think it looks sloppy.. now, thats not always, but most of the time. I'm letting my friends pick the dresses with me, and i'm more than happy to make my colours around any gorgeous bridesmaid dresses we find.. so i guess i'm fairly easy going with that lol

MYAKAYAH Posts: 4,550
6/10/11 2:16 A

Good to see your Bride friend came around a little with the dress and price! Anyhow, I married the first time and had no bridesmaids. This time around I am of the same mindset. I see no reason to saddle anyone with unreasonable costs and foolishness. I am a strange woman though and not very traditional at all. I decided to go with an ivory dress this time though since when I was married previous I went with a red and gold Chinese dress. I've never been a bridesmaid except for once and it was a very casual wedding. I didn't want to bother with possibly having an ugly dress or uncomfortable shoes on my hands.
Honestly I just don't have the tact to wear ugly dresses and heels. I'm known for speaking my mind. I usually have to say do you want to know how I really feel or what you want to hear just so I don't offend lol...

DONAD805 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/3/11 4:03 A

Luckily the bride that I am in her wedding allowed me to try a different dress than she wanted...truly so glad she did being that I have a small waist but large chest. I want to lose about 8pds before her wedding which is next Saturday....I think 5 is possible in two weeks so hoping for that! :) I am sorry to hear that your bride is being a bridezilla...and I believe you can achieve your goals by the summer! emoticon

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,718
5/2/11 8:50 P

I think that if the bride was going to pick a color and let the bridesmaids pick out their dresses. She could pick a color, fabric and designer. Add some rules like length and necessary foundation garments. (After all no bride wants a bra less bridesmaid to jiggle down the aisle)

I recently saw the pictures from a wedding where the bride picked the designer of the gown, the color and fabric. And those pictures were lovely. And the bridesmaids were all smiling because they loved their gown.

Every bridesmaid I have ever talked to (including myself) has hated her dress and lied to the Bride because they didn't want to make waves, and cause problems

Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 6/21/2011 (22:49)
BEE_ELLE SparkPoints: (11,046)
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4/27/11 11:14 A

I'm glad she's come around with the style...but good lord that color is ghastly.

DETERMINEMT SparkPoints: (11,013)
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4/21/11 2:08 P

I always thought I would put all of my bridesmaids in different dresses, however, I was in my sister's wedding and she had us all pick our own dresses. it was actually really uncomfortable she just told us a color and said to get it. no one knew what to get we spent months trying to find the dress she would want. it was horrible. then on the day the ones of us who had talked looked similar and fit together but the ones we didnt know had something completely different on adn it looke a little weird in the pics.
I decided to have all my bridesmaids in the same dress so that there wouldnt be any worry or questions. esp with the girls I have I dont think they would appreciate it at all if they were left on their own to pic. becuase they want to make me happy on my day and it raises alot of questions.
my bridesmaids range from sizes 6-26. I found a nice dress. cotton in a light color that they could wear again, its a sundress. I have heard only good things from all of them about it. I was very concious to ask what they would like from a dress to suit their body shape and I think I found one that met all their needs. I think the key to finding a one dress fits and suits all is communication. my girls will be in the same dress. Though some will be wearing jackets, straps, strapless, etc.
the biggest deal is to talk to everyone about what THEY need from the dress and to pick something from there. I went really simple so they could dress up or down the dress. not saying it works for everyone but it happened to work out for me.
goodluck!


KITTEN_351 Posts: 486
4/20/11 4:27 P

I'm making all my bridesmaids wear the same style of dress but all in a different color, I know unheard of. But the dress is under $150 and I'm getting accessories for them. The plan is that each bridesmaid would have a dress of one color and a sash around the mid-section, shoes, and purse of another, so they all tie into one another while still emphasizing what color looks best with their features.

I haven't heard any complaints yet, but we'll see since the fittings haven't happened yet :P Cost was a concern for me too, $300 is WAY too much for a bridesmaid to have to pay!

EMANNE2 Posts: 42
4/15/11 12:56 P

As a bride with a wedding in 6 months, I struggled too. My fiance wanted a big traditional wedding party, and with 7 girls I knew that just having them pick any dress they wanted would make the photos (which I am paying big $$ for) look a little off. So, we compromised. I went to David's Bridal, where most dresses are around $100, and let them choose their own dress as long as it was long and in my color. So-- my bustier friend got a dress that fits her well, my pregnant sister-in-law chose a dress she will feel comfortable in, etc etc. I still felt bad about the $100-ish, but I priced around and couldn't find much cheaper that would look like it was part of a "collection." Finally, I had my eye on these shoes I loved, and so when they went on sale, I bought them for my bridesmaids as their gift (they are super-cute Steve Maddens-- not dyables or anything like that), and I know they will wear them again. I feel like even if the dress is a wash, they didn't have to buy the shoes and they will wear those. Also, I put them on a "one-gift limit"-- meaning that IF they choose to get me a gift, one is plenty-- with all the showers and the wedding, I know they could easily spend crazy amounts of money just on gifts alone. They seem to appreciate that most of all.

It's hard to make everyone happy, but being reasonable is key I think. I hope your bride can see the light eventually! :)

KIMFISH76 SparkPoints: (0)
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4/14/11 2:46 P

As a former bridesmaid who never wore any of the dresses again, and actually only still has the last 1, I feel bad for you. I'm getting married next March and told the 2 girls to buy a black dress, black and white if they prefer, from Target, David's, Sears, I don't care. As long as it is longer than Snookie-length, shorter than Sister Wife-length, and makes you feel good about yourself. No matchy-poufy sleeve pink with big sun hats for these girls! LOL

ANGDAISYROSE SparkPoints: (0)
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4/13/11 12:46 P

Proper etiquette would be for the bride to ask each bridesmaid individually and confidentially what she can afford for the dress. Then she should go below that the lowest bidder is. The whole "shorten it and wear it again" is only a line from the movie 27 Dresses. It does NOT happen! The only dress I have worn again was a LBD my friend asked me to purchase for her wedding, and we all need a LBD.

Also, if the wedding is not until NEXT summer, you shouldn't be looking for dressed until NEXT spring. More styles will be out for fall, winter, and spring, and tastes are likely to change. Best of luck to you!

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,718
4/12/11 9:58 A

Pink is one of my favorite colors. And while I might buy a pink dress for myself. (not that shade of pink) I would never inflict pink on my bridesmaids.

Someone forgot to tell the Dessy Group. Cotton Candy is a pale shade of pink. What they are calling Cotton Candy is really Pepto Bismal.

I am a huge fan of picking a neutral color and allowing the Bridesmaids to pick out a dress.

MEESH-87 Posts: 132
4/12/11 6:21 A

I know what you mean! I'm a bridesmaid in TWO weddings next year. Thankfully, one of my friends has chosen a black dress that will look good on all body types, but the other...well, I haven't tried it on yet, so we'll see. But man it's expensive!

SPIFFYBEBEBABY Posts: 593
4/3/11 5:31 P

whoa! a female with red-green colorblindness???? that is crazy rare!!! well then, you just go ahead and get whatever color you want in that shade and she wont be any wiser! J/J!!! but i do find it interesting that she is adamant on that particular color. perhaps the color that cotton candy looks like to her is very appealing whereas many people shudder at it that dont see with her eyes (technically brain). and thats assuming she doesnt see in gray scale. perhaps someone close to her (MOB, FMIL, DH) might like that color and she agreed to go with it.

regardless, congrats on getting to name your price, you cant win em all.

EELYRAM7 Posts: 362
4/3/11 3:21 P

If you can choose the style, try to get one in a natural material (cotton, linen, silk, etc). That way when you are done with the wedding, you can dye it easily yourself. Artificial fabrics can be dyed too but usually the results aren't as reliable as with natural fibers. Red, brown or black dye will probably turn out pretty well, and will let you turn your pink nightmare dress into something you might actually wear again. If the dye doesn't work out, you haven't really lost anything except the $5 or so for the dye.

BROWNWY Posts: 45
4/3/11 10:07 A

It's the one time brides can get their own way and they work it.

THATHOTRUNRGRL Posts: 224
4/2/11 10:16 P

I'm going to be honest, I really thought I was going to get slammed when I posted this on here:) I'm glad that there are so many brides that are sympathetic to their bridesmaids. I called my friend and we had a couple good chats! She is insistent that everyone wear a cotton candy colored dress from the Dessy Group but she is fine with everyone wearing whatever style of dress that suits them best. I guess I will still be buying a bright pink dress that I will never wear again, but at least I have some control over the price now :)

And I forgot to mention one tiny little interesting fact in my initial rant: the bride is red-green color blind (extremely rare, I know) and she can't even discern the color pink from red, orange, yellow, or green :)

DAWNDREGER Posts: 303
4/2/11 7:07 P

Originally, a bride's maid (literally) wore a dress identical to the bride (we forget that before Queen Victoria, a white dress was not common) to confuse any evil spirits that might be out to harm the bride on her wedding day.

Ok, enough of that! ;)

Honestly, if you feel you can't afford the dress, just tell her that you are honoured to be asked, but you're going to back out so that you don't spoil her day. (ahem, a teeny white lie there).

It's too bad when people go all bridezilla.

YOUNMM23 SparkPoints: (32,007)
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4/2/11 6:35 P

My bridesmaid have been told they can get whatever style dress they want, and I doublechecked on the color with everyone. I told them that even if they didnt like the color and everyone went with a different color, I was cool with that. I'm probably the most easygoing bride ever lol :)

SPIFFYBEBEBABY Posts: 593
4/1/11 8:41 P

ok i have to put my two cents in (rant with her). i'm a future bride and a veteran bridesmaid (count em 8 weddings 4 were maid of honor) and i wore the exact same dress as everyone else in every wedding. i had colors from slimming full length black satin to an outside may wedding in the evening IN LOUISIANA and that was the best wedding, the worst was alfred angelo taffeta in SHRIMP! the wedding dress color was called F***ing SHRIMP!?!?! and EACH wedding cost me about $250 from dress/alterations to hair to jewelry to shoes, etc.

and for my wedding i vowed it would be different. i had all of my girls get the same dress yes, its a black convertible dress, a color they will most likely wear again and i only went with the dress after i had explicit approval of all the girls that they would wear it again (no lies or agreements just b/c they were bridesmaids either). my girls are also in all shapes and sizes so they all get this dress in black satin jersey. they stretch, dont cling, are forgiving if one (or two) ends up pregnant before the wedding day, and were only $90 each. it's still classy but cost effective considering you can wear the dress a bazillion ways.

all in all i have deep long lasting pity for the bridesmaid plight. and i think a 300 dollar dress is outrageous when the piece de resistance is only $600. i would never ask my girls to go out of their way for me. but like some other posters said, she should be receptive to her girls input. i always check prices before i show anyone what i want them to buy. if im not willing to buy it myself i wouldn't dare even bring it up. BUT there is so much going on planning a wedding.... something i think is a must she might just overlook and she might plan to a T something that i will figure out the day of the wedding. to each their own. just be patient and understanding and a good friend (i mean honest). probably what is paining you is paining the other girls too.




Edited by: SPIFFYBEBEBABY at: 4/1/2011 (20:54)
RKGIBBS3 SparkPoints: (11,293)
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4/1/11 8:38 P

Those are nice looking dresses. I must admit though, I hate pink! I hate all forms of it!
Maybe you can help her do some searching? Maybe the 2 of you could go to some stores (non bridal types) and find formal gowns that would match her wedding colors. Maybe dig up some wedding photo's of various nice weddings where the bridesmaids wore different styles?
For my wedding, my bridesmaids wore brown and I told them each they could pick their own dresses. I had found some dresses I had liked that I thought would look nice if they all wore the same but I had a variety of sizes that would be worn between my 3 bridesmaids and new it'd be best if they all picked what would look best on themselves. So I showed them the shade of brown I wanted and let them go from there.
If she is wiling to let you all pick your dresses but wants you to stick with the same shade and/or material, maybe she could go to a fabric store and buy just a small strip of the shade she wants dresses in. Then you could each have your strip of fabric that you take shopping with you to find matches? Just a thought :)
I do suggest that you not let her take all bridesmaids shopping at once though to look at dresses! I didn't do that but I have heard it can be a disaster! If you are each going with the intent of getting different style dresses it may not be so bad but if you are going to help the bride get ideas of what she wants you guys to where, I think it'd be information overload having 4 girls throwing dress ideas at her!

LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 16,206
3/31/11 4:12 P

Cute dresses!

And at ~110 pounds, I daresay you will look good in it!

THATHOTRUNRGRL Posts: 224
3/31/11 3:06 P

I talked to my friend and the good news is that she agrees that $300 is way too much to pay, yay! She said she was just looking at styles and didn't realize all the dresses she was showing us were so expensive. The bad news is she still seems pretty intent on having us all wear the same dress :(
These two dresses are her favs right now, both of them in cotton candy.

http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/
6600/

http://www.dessy.com/dresses/bridesmaid/
6586/

MOONLIGHTKISS Posts: 122
3/31/11 1:47 P

Apparently they made a movie called Bridesmaids - same situation. Ugly dress in bright pink. Oy vey!

BEE_ELLE SparkPoints: (11,046)
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3/30/11 12:09 P

LOL - cotton candy?! I thought that was carnival food, not a color!

I guess wearing an ugly dress sometimes comes with bridesmaid territory, but I do think $300 is way too much to ask you guys to spend, and more than the average bridesmaid dress.

Have her check out Aria Dress (ariadress.com) - lots of options in lots of colors. (There is a light pink silk...is that cotton candy?) I let my girls choose from about 14 different options in black satin. They all picked a different dress! And they were only $160.

Good luck!

SEPLIBRA Posts: 271
3/30/11 10:08 A

I was in a wedding last year where originally, we were going to wear this pretty shade of latte from David's Bridal in any dress we wanted. We got there, and the bride changed her mind...we ended up in full length, pool blue, heavy satin dresses with diamond broochs for a July wedding. They were more expensive, and would never be worn again.

With that in mind, I chose the flat cotton material from David's Bridal that is part of their wear again collection. I gave them several color choices, and let them pick the final color. The dresses were the same color, material and length, but each girl picked the style they liked the best.

If she is your best friend, then she she should listen to your input. In the end, it's her decision, but that doesn't mean you can't steer her in a different direction. Besides, $300 is alot, even for a dress you like.

MOONLIGHTKISS Posts: 122
3/29/11 5:55 P

Originally I was going to have my two bridesmaids wear something they could wear again, that had the same length and color. However, when my maid of honor tried on a long corset-back, strapless dress, she was so excited and was beaming. she looked great. so we went with that. i guess she and my other bridesmaid can make the hem shorter and wear it again. its going to be a marine blue in satin so I guess it'd make a good summer dress.

Sorry you have to wear cotton candy pink taffeta. you should talk to her. she'll listen I'm sure.

Edited by: MOONLIGHTKISS at: 3/29/2011 (17:56)
CANDACEMM Posts: 1,185
3/29/11 12:56 P

I'm glad that you feel better about asking the bride to reconsider. Anyone who asks their friends to spend that much money on a dress for the wedding is a little insensitive.

Let us know how it goes!!! Good luck!!!

THATHOTRUNRGRL Posts: 224
3/29/11 11:03 A

Thanks ladies! I feel much better about asking her to reconsider her dress choices. I have definitely never spent $300 on a single article of clothing before!In fact, I don't spend $300 on clothes for the entire year :)

ASALYERS86 Posts: 17
3/29/11 1:53 A

I'm a July bride to be, and am paying for my three bridesmaid's dresses. Granted, I work in a retail clothing store and managed to get a great deal on them (paid $80 for ALL THREE!), and yes, they are all three the same. Its a color to flatter both pale and tan, a white and dark blue with black straps, as well as a cut that looks good on my slim cousin and curvy sister. It is possible to find a happy balance, but the big thing a bride ought to remember is that certain colors (like your cotton candy nightmare) aren't universally flattering!

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,718
3/28/11 10:01 P

You are a trooper for wearing the dress the bride has chosen.

Three hundred dollars is a lot for a dress that you hate and will only wear once. I am a cheapskate and think that $300 is a lot for a dress that you love and will wear more than once.

Then add the shoes, hair, make up and bachelorette party. Why do Brides saddle their bridesmaids with such expense?

Is there any way that the bridesmaids could get together with the bride. And have each of you try on the dress that the bride has picked out. Then maybe she will see that the matching dress is a bad idea.

SCTK519 Posts: 2,085
3/28/11 9:30 P

I thought putting the bridesmaids in one dress was a thing of the past!! I'm sorry to hear that it's not. Any chance she's gonna ask for someone's opinion?? That's A LOT of money for a dress, even if you are going to wear it again. Has she never been in a wedding before?! You're a good friend to be wearing cotton candy taffeta; here's hoping it's not iridescent.

CANDACEMM Posts: 1,185
3/28/11 7:37 P

I'm a future bride and I struggle with whether I should have bridesmaids. Being in a wedding is expensive and I think that brides tend to forget that we're asking you to spend $300 on a dress that you'll never ever wear again. Personally I think that it is ridiculous. I would never ask anyone to spend that much money on a dress - it is absolutely outrageous - especially knowing that a lot of people are suffering financial setbacks these days.

You're a real trooper for sticking with this wedding and agreeing to purchase such an expensive dress. You're a better person than me!

THATHOTRUNRGRL Posts: 224
3/28/11 5:02 P

I am a bridesmaid in my best friendís wedding next summer. Originally the only bridesmaids were me and her sister and we were going to wear cute off-the-rack dresses that we liked, would wear again, and would be affordable. Then she added two additional bridesmaids and decided that as long as we all wore dresses in her colors we could pick the dress we liked. But now, she wants us all in the exact same dress and her color is: cotton candy. And the dress fabric is going to be satin or taffeta. Why brides, why?! All of the bridesmaids are different sizes and shapes and we have different skin tone and hair color. There is no way all of us are going to look good in the exact same dress. Especially when itís cotton candy colored taffeta! Alright, but seriously, I have never understood this, why do all the bridesmaids need to wear the exact same dress? I can understand the same color, maybe even the same length, but the exact same dress?

The brideís budget for her dress is $600 (including possible alterations), but all the bridesmaid dresses that she likes are around $300. Sheís spending $600 to find a dress that is the absolute exact perfect dress that sheís been dreaming about for years, but I have to spend $300+ for a dress that I will never wear again and look stupid in anyway? Doesnít seem right.

For the record, I will absolutely buy the dress she chooses and wear it without so much as a single complaint (to her) to make her day special. I know this is pretty common (just about every wedding I have been to all the bridesmaids wear the exact same dress) but I just donít understand it.

For all of you having your bridesmaids wear the exact same dress, why? Were all of your bridesmaids similarly shaped?

Wow, that turned into a much longer rant that I meant to :)


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