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SHELLEYWHITLEY SparkPoints: (126)
Fitness Minutes: (25)
Posts: 2
11/30/12 4:20 P

thank you guys, my daughter is in cousiling the state pays for it, thank god!!!!

MEADSBAY SparkPoints: (215,282)
Fitness Minutes: (140,968)
Posts: 13,770
11/30/12 3:10 P

Welcome to SP, Shelley.
You sure have been through a lot in your life but it sounds like you are now ready to take control of your body and health.
It is sad how many women and girls have been through that trauma.
Good luck on this next chapter of your life.
emoticon


JMORRIS85 SparkPoints: (59,004)
Fitness Minutes: (32,494)
Posts: 4,903
11/30/12 1:55 P

Hi Shelley. Due to things that happened to me and my girls, i know exactly what you are talking about right down to the feelings of guilt. When it happens to you, you think that it is the worse thing that could ever happen. Then when it happens to your child, you realize that it is 100 times worse. We have to accept that we cannot control the universe. We did not do this to ourselves or our children. I hope that you have got your daughter in counseling, believe me it helps. If you have never had counseling about what happened to you, then you should also consider going. Learning how to deal with your emotional scars will better enable you to help your daughter. emoticon


Jackie

LYNNWILK2 Posts: 2,608
11/30/12 10:27 A

You've been on sparks for almost 2 months now, I know you've found some teams, I hope they are working for you and that you able to find your footing in each group and participate in all the activities on the board.
Good luck on your journey.

SHELLEYWHITLEY SparkPoints: (126)
Fitness Minutes: (25)
Posts: 2
11/30/12 8:52 A

Hoping this will help others that are or have went thru this!!!

Ok I wanted to tell my story It will be hard but I know the only way for me to get control of my weight I need to share why I became FAT!!! Here it goes I was a very happy child and very thin so much so u could see my bones I was that little, but it all changed when I was molested as a little girl, I was very young just not sure how old I was or how long it happened for but I guess that is something I will never know! I also remember wearing a dress for the first time and how I was starting to develop and I remember so vividly that my cousin looked at me and noticed I was not worried that he was going to do anything to me but it was another thing that did not make me feel comfortable! I know that is when I really started to gain weight it was like a (I don't know how to word it) but it was a way to protect myself u know I guess its like not realizing that gaining the weight was protection so that no other man would ever hurt me again that if I gained alot of weight I would not be desirable to men, its the opposite of when other girls who have this happen to them they turn to sex and that was so opposite of what I wanted to do! By the time I got into high school I reached 189 lbs and as I got older I just kept gaining! When I did finally start to date I would get so sick to my stomach could not eat and always had a friend with me that's how bad it was and it sucked, I dated some thru out the years with the same problem, I finally realized WHY I was overweight I did not want to draw attention to myself so being fat made it easier to not be noticed, but it got to a point I wanted to change that I was tired of letting one person who was mentally sick decide how I was going to live my life!!!! I would lose, gain, lose, gain it was an endless cycle! So in October 1997 my life changed my brother introduced me to a man and after we talked and started seeing each other I knew he was the man I was going to MARRY, all those times I would get sick could not eat and always wanted a friend with me when going out on a date well that all changed I was so comfortable around him all I wanted to do was be with him it was the best feeling in the world the crazy part something I would of never done, when he was at work I called his mother and asked if I could come by and meet them I also wanted to surprise him and he was so surprised :)!! ( that was huge for me) so lets get to June 19, 1999 one of the best days of my life I MARRIED my soul mate!!!! So three months after the big day my life got even better turns out while I was saying I DO, my body was saying look out shelley the one thing you have always wanted is going to be here in less than 9 months, yep I was finally going to be a MOMMY my life went from scared and hating my life to the most amazing future any one could ask for, and now I am the proudest mother of 3 beautiful children! My husband and I have had an awesome marriage but today its the strongest marriage we have had such a great life and so lucky not to have any problems to deal with but that changed my husband had a teenage son who is now in prison for doing to my 8 year old daughter that was done to me when I was a little girl and the worst thing a mom could ever go thru is knowing that she failed to protect her little girl :( but I am proud to say that she is one of the strongest little girls I have ever met we do have problems with her acting out she gets very angry with me and I will till the day I die show her how sorry I am but I want her to always know that the things that happen in our life DOES NOT DEFINE WHO WE ARE and that is where my journey starts I will not let someones actions define me as a person it is not my fault and to celebrate my rediscovery I am going to work on ME I am going to lose this weight and be proud when a man looks at me because I deserve it but not only that my kids deserve to have a mother who is healthy and who will finally be a better mother because of it!!! I am going to celebrate when I achieve my goal weight which I will call my rebirth!!!!!! There is one thing I want to say Thank you mom and dad for being the best parents I could ever have and to my awesome husband I LOVE YOU, because of you I am the happiest girl in the whole world you have given me so much but I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MORE SUCKA!!!! LOL

My blog shelleylynn276.blogspot.com

Edited by: SHELLEYWHITLEY at: 11/30/2012 (08:58)
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