I'd rather just have them say excuse me can I help you? You don't have to put a label on a person for their gender or age and that's just as respectful.....
Starting to like the new me! Waiting for my garden to come to life!
Fitness Minutes: (40,845)
4,079 6/8/13 11:51 A
I TOTALLY agree with Love4Kitties. We women should INSIST on being called Ma'am, etc. and not accept being referred to as "girls" once we become adults.
People may think, "Oh, it's just a little thing. Don't make a political issue of it." But those social conventions reflect and promote social standards of thought and behavior. I work in a traditional "women's occupation" - nursing - and regularly have to work hard to overcome the subtle, yet very effective, traditions and social conventions the "keep women in their place" (below men) in the workplace.
Studies repeatly show that women get less respect and make less money than men even when we do work of similar importance and requiring similar expertise. We need to combat that by not accepting "2nd class treatment" and by embracing our maturity, experience, and the expertise those things lead to.
We can't do that unless we get comfortable with being grown-ups worthy of respect -- and not cling to the immature image of ourselves as "sweet little young things" that can't take of ourselves or handle important responsibilities.
I remember the first time I was called "Ma'am" -- in a grocery store by a bag boy. I was in my early 30's and it felt good.
Edited by: ONLINEASLLOU at: 6/8/2013 (11:52)
"Aim for progression, not perfection." -- SP Coach Nancy
"There is hope for me. There is hope for all of us." -- llou
Fitness Minutes: (2,583)
6/8/13 8:55 A
Our society doesn't value age in women. Ma'am connotes a certain age, therefore it's generally not taken as a compliment. Age and the terms that go with it don't connote respect (not where I'm from). We value youth, beauty, thinness and money. Are the values mixed up, yes probably, but that's the reality of it.
For men, this isn't the case. Age looks good on a man and the term "Sir" does carry with it respect. Therefore the terms "be a man", "man up", etc.
I get called both. When I'm dressed down- jeans and a t shirt, I get called Miss. When I'm dressed in office attire for work, I get Ma'am and I admit I don't like it.
Edited by: GLAMIAM at: 6/8/2013 (08:56)
Fitness Minutes: (107,006)
6/8/13 7:57 A
When I received my Navy commission.
Fitness Minutes: (49,944)
3,091 6/8/13 7:56 A
When I first traveled in the South on business.
"This too shall pass."
Fitness Minutes: (92,798)
6/8/13 6:51 A
When a polite young person called me ma'am. It's called respect.
Fitness Minutes: (40)
1,063 6/8/13 6:14 A
I don't mind being called Ma'am and don't recall when i was first called that but I'm 54 and married but still called "Miss" sometimes and i don't mind that either. I really don't like being called "honey" by complete strangers though, but it happens.
Where I'm from it is a term of respect and age doesn't really factor into it. It's what people say to get your attention or when they do not know your name for the most part. Also used with children being respectful to anyone older than they are.
Goals March ~ 7 lbs goal met actual (9.4 lbs) April ~ 5 lbs goal met actual (5.4 lbs) May ~ 7 lbs goal met actual (7.2 lbs) June ~ 3-4 lbs goal met actual (3.6 lbs) July ~ 2-3 lbs
6/8/13 12:23 A
I consider the term to be one of respect. I can't remember when I first became one, and I introduce myself as "Miss Mashamoo" but it doesn't bother me at all. I'd much rather be Ma'am than be addressed by my first name.
Fitness Minutes: (0)
158 6/7/13 11:22 P
I'm always called Miss which makes me chuckle at my age. I think if you have a wedding ring you are called Ma'am after age 30 and if no wedding ring they call you Miss till about 104.
Fitness Minutes: (101,280)
6/7/13 10:47 P
What is it with our current culture, that it is a dirty, bad, thing to be "old", anyway?? When did that happen, and is it the fault of People magazine or the media, stupid tv shows??? Interesting topic.
I began being called Ma'M around age 64 or so, and it was while visiting in the south, Texas, to be exact. Maybe that is why we are moving there, different than Calif., anyway.
Plan for tomorrow, but enjoy the heck out of today.
WE DON'T USE THAT TERM; BUT WHEN I WAS IN THE MILITARY WE HAVE TO CALL EVERY WOMAN W/OUT UNIFORM: MA'AM.
Show hospitality to strangers for, by doing that, some have entertained angels unawares. Never stop helping others because others think that they abuse you. That stranger can be Jesus and you lose the opportunity to serve, even in something simple.
Fitness Minutes: (233,680)
8,445 6/7/13 10:09 P
When I started teaching at the age of 22.
Janie Garcia Moreno
"WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE"
"PRAYER CHANGES THINGS"
"NEVER PUT A QUESTION MARK WHERE GOD HAS PUT A PERIOD!"
"WHAT THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE AND BELIEVE, IT CAN ACHIEVE!"
Fitness Minutes: (306,641)
24,108 6/7/13 7:00 P
Sometime around age 30.
I'm just not giving up on me. I will never stop trying to be healthy, no matter my failures and shortcomings.
Fitness Minutes: (33,140)
12,117 6/7/13 5:48 P
It's definitely a custom that is prevalent in the south. It's considered good etiquette here.
We're taught to say "sir" and "ma'am" and Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Ms. We were taught that adults have titles that should be used. When you don't know a name to use Mr./Mrs./etc, you use "sir" or ''ma'am."
Other areas and businesses also follow the same type of protocol.
HOPE: Holding On, Praying Earnestly...from Guidepost Magazine
I'm working my way back to the size I want to be. On a journey for strength and good health.
Fitness Minutes: (24,595)
6/7/13 3:58 P
As soon as I moved to the south!!!
Fitness Minutes: (3,382)
240 6/7/13 3:49 P
Eventhough love4kitties is right..it shouldnt bother some of us..but you know what? Ill be honest and admit it does bother me when Im occasionally referred to as ma'am. I wsnt to be a miss forever, darn it! Lol. I noticed I was called Ma'am alot more during pregnancy.
6/7/13 3:45 P
I don't understand how we, as women, have let a term that's supposed to convey respect turn into something that we feel is a comment on our age...a subtle insult, if you will.
Young, unmarried, men and boys (children) are supposed to be "Master" and young, unmarried women and girls (children) are supposed to be "Miss." Men don't get upset when they start being called "Mister" and they don't get upset when people start calling them "sir" so why should women get upset about "Ma'am?" Is it because we see being mature women as something "less than" or undesirable?
Speaking of "girls" I also do NOT understand why it has become so common for people to refer to full-grown adult women as GIRLS. We don't refer to adult men as "boys." I find it horribly insulting, as an adult woman, to be referred to as a "girl."
I'd much rather be called "ma'am" and be given the respect that I and other adult women should be given rather than being called a "girl." I am NOT a girl. I am NOT a child. I am not a "miss." I am an adult woman. So people who don't know my name or my title should call me "ma'am" especially if they are obviously younger than me. I don't mind at all and, in fact, I expect to be treated with respect.
Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 6/7/2013 (15:53)
Fitness Minutes: (41,364)
6/7/13 3:17 P
Edited by: MOM2ACAT at: 6/7/2013 (16:04)
My name is Shari; I have been a Sparker since July 2006, I am now in palliative care for metastatic breast cancer, but I'm not letting cancer stop me from Sparking!
Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
A. A. Milne
6/7/13 3:08 P
All I know is that the word should be banned from everyones vocabulary.
6/7/13 2:58 P
I became "ma'am" ages ago! And "sir" for snarky subordinates. Beats being late & lamented!
My Sparkpage is set to private, but I'm open to SparkMail! ______________
"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing--that's why we recommend it daily." - Zig Ziglar
6/7/13 2:55 P
I have only ever been called Ma'am once. I am in Scotland and was on the phone to an American store about an online purchase.
6/7/13 2:50 P
The other day I was in the store after a doctor's appointment, I asked where something was and the person (who wasn't that young) can I help you Ma'am? I thought to myself OMG I'm a Ma'am? I said to my husband when did I become a Ma'am ? He started laughing I said I've been a Miss and now I'm a MA'AM???????? Boy did that make me feel OLD.....
Starting to like the new me! Waiting for my garden to come to life!
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.