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When "Chivalry" is demonstrated does it stand out?



 
 
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FENWAYGIRL18
Posts: 5,849
5/2/13 7:16 P

oh yes cause no one seems to have manners these days and it's rare to see when someone holds the door for you.
My husband always opened up my door for me and now my son does it, I think the best compliment about my son was from a teacher saying she never met a boy like him so respectful , has manners and she said I wish I could clone him cause he's rare. That is one thing from day one with my son we always did was instill manners with him.
I remember when he was about 3 yrs old he said to a lady at home depot (he wanted to hand her something we were buying) he said excuse me ma'am and handed her the item hahaha she almost fell over and said WOW what wonderful manners he has for a child, she gave him a lolly pop and he said thank you very much hahaha she was in awe of him hahaha rare to see in kids



BLUENOSE63
SparkPoints: (99,187)
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Posts: 2,932
5/2/13 7:04 P

Unfortunately yes when chivalry is demonstrated these days, it does stand out as chivalrous men are in the minority. I do agree with other posters that it is common courtesy to see if someone is behind you when going through a door etc.

My DH and DS are very chivalrous as both DH and I impressed upon our 11 year old son that it is all about respect whether it be an adult, a dog or your peer or sibling.





MARTYJOE
SparkPoints: (18,252)
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Posts: 428
5/2/13 2:22 P

Never. It's just we don't see it as often. I hope it never dies.



LIMIT81
Posts: 332
5/2/13 10:40 A

My husband wouldn't think of it to have me open my car door or building door. We've been married over 32 years and he sarted doing this when we were dating in our teens. We're not in our 50's. Sometimes, I'll see couples look at us when we are walking hand in hand and the older couples smile.



LEANIE64
SparkPoints: (18,723)
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5/2/13 10:25 A

Yes..refreshingly so..!



AUTUMNGLORY7
Posts: 847
5/2/13 10:22 A

yes it does and it is welcome and appreciated.



TIG123GER
SparkPoints: (76,906)
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Posts: 2,116
5/2/13 10:08 A

It does, particularly where I work because all the "youngsters" here have no sense of manners or ettiquette and are socially rude all the time. When I see one that does something chivalrous, it definitely stands out and is very appreciated by those other older ladies around me in the office.



FIRECOM
SparkPoints: (107,673)
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Posts: 5,855
5/2/13 10:03 A

Random acts of kindness. What a wonderful thing when it happens to you. Right now, I am wearing a sling on my left arm due to restrictions on movement due to a pacemaker installation and when I pulled in to park at a business, it was obvious that I was having difficulty opening the door with my right arm and a worker ran over, opened the door and offered me his hand to ease my exit.

I tried to thank him, but it was obvious that he didn't speak English and could not understand me. Believe me, I sure understood him.



MISSSVJS
Posts: 488
5/2/13 9:56 A

For me anyway, I notice it more when it doesn't happen - when someone (man or woman) walks through a door in front of someone else and allows the door to close behind them knowing full well there is someone following. When someone walks directly across my path to the point that I have to stop to avoid running into them; when someone cuts in line and takes greart pleasure in that. I specifically recall attempting to pull into a gas pump one time when a teenage boy who obviously knew I was trying to reach that pump - he cut me off and looked directly at me and was laughing his head off; I'm sure his mother would have been very proud of him at that moment! But my biggest pet peeve are people walking down a busy sidewalk texting on their iPhones and not paying attention to who's coming towards them - that's probably not chivalrous; just inconsiderate and incredibly annoying!

I also recall exiting a store one time with a rather large package. A mother and her young son (he was probably 6 or 7) were entering the store. He saw me leaving and turned around to hold the door open for me. I thanked him but I wish I had taken that opportunity to tell his mother and thank her for what a gentleman she was raising.

It all comes down to how we were raised by our parents I guess and I have to admit that I have real reservations about our younger generation!



LADYCJM
SparkPoints: (29,370)
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5/1/13 11:18 P

A well mannered man (or woman) is a gift!



J2740LOU
SparkPoints: (205,480)
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Posts: 3,775
5/1/13 9:08 P

Just being considerate of one another and being able to anticipate what needs of be done and pitching in and helping out or just doing what needs to be done, that's what I think of when I hear the word chivalry. I really don't need anyone to open a car door for me, unless I've just had surgery or something else major like that. Sometimes I do need help with opening a door, but then again, sometimes he needs me to hold the door open for him, too. It depends upon the circumstances.



BREWERFAN71
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5/1/13 5:23 P

I also think it's much more about common courtesy than chivalry. I do admit there are things that fall under "chivalry" that have always made me uncomfortable-for instance, sitting in the car waiting for the guy to come around & open my door. I always felt silly doing that & instead always preferred to just get out on my own.

It's such a gray area bordering sexism in some ways. Don't get me wrong-anything anyone does for another person that shows respect, manners, & thoughtfulness is always appreciated. I am not one of those women who will get offended when a man holds a door open for me. But I do at times have a problem when I am seen as weak,unable, or not fit to perform a task simply because of my gender & for that reason the act of "chivalry" is performed. If a guy wants to say, change a light bulb for me because he noticed it was burnt out & was simply being helpful, great. But if he did it because he felt I had no business climbing a step ladder & that it was a "man's" job, then no thanks. Then again, which is worse-that last example, or the guy who grabs a beer, sits on the couch & yells out to the woman there's a light bulb that needs to be changed? :)





SHKIRK
Posts: 917
5/1/13 5:12 P

Yes and it is a shame that boys are not raised to open a door for a lady anymore emoticon



JGIRL5799
Posts: 538
5/1/13 5:06 P

my hubby has always opened the door for me car door, store doors whatever, and it made a huge impression on me.. I was not used to it and he spoiled me rotten LOL

When others do it I love it as well and I expect my kids to show it as well esp, keeping store doors open for people while walking through, or letting the elderly go first in line at the store check outs.




GLITTERFAIRY77
Posts: 8,023
5/1/13 4:13 P

sess-kwih-pedd-alien...
It's also a noun...meaning "one given to using long words."



GEVANS7
SparkPoints: (63,052)
Fitness Minutes: (60,630)
Posts: 1,468
5/1/13 3:40 P

It absolutely stands out when displayed and is very much appreciated. I had trouble retrieving my suitcase from the revolving rack at the airport and a wonderful gentleman rushed to help me. You don't see that much these days. When you do - it's noticeable.



KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,787
5/1/13 3:39 P

ses·qui·pe·da·li·an
/ˌseskwəpəˈdāly
ən/
Adjective
1.(of a word) Polysyllabic; long: "sesquipedalian surnames".
2.Characterized by long words; long-winded.



don't ask me to pronounce it, though...
emoticon



LOVE4KITTIES
Posts: 1,866
5/1/13 3:34 P

I admit that I do expect men to display a certain amount of chivalrous behavior and I appreciate it when they do so. When a man walks through a door in front of me and then lets it close behind him, I think poorly of that man. When a man holds a door open for me, I think well of him and appreciate the gesture. I always say "thank you." The entire interaction just seems like the polite, proper, thing to do...the way things should be.

I also feel like I should exhibit a certain amount of this behavior towards other people. I hold open doors for people behind me (including men) and I will definitely wait and hold a door open for someone who is elderly or who appears to be disabled in any way.

I don't get upset if a man doesn't open my car door for me, but I do get upset if he doesn't make sure my door is promptly unlocked. I think it's rude for a man to open his door, get himself seated and leave me waiting outside the car for him to get around to unlocking my door. I think it would be rude of me to do this to someone else.

My husband drops me off in front of the store when it's raining and he'll go get the car for me and pick me up too, because he doesn't think I should have to get all wet walking out in the rain. I appreciate this and always thank him. I do this for my mom so she doesn't have to walk in the rain.

We had to take a load of yard waste to the dump this last weekend. On the way out, my husband saw a woman trying to unload a hot water heater. He immediately stopped the truck, jumped out, and unloaded it for her. I was proud of him. I would have been disappointed if he'd just driven by. He did what was right. I would have expected him to do the same thing for someone who was elderly, disabled or for a man who looked like he was having trouble.

Sure, there is this quest for equality these days. Everyone should be seen as being equal, but I don't think that this means that society should devolve to the point where, just to prove a point about equality, we're being rude to each other and men let doors slam in women's faces and men just drive on by when a woman could use some help.

Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 5/1/2013 (15:35)


SHERYLDS
Posts: 11,621
5/1/13 3:28 P

I'm pleasantly surprised when someone holds the door for me
but when a man hears a derogatory remark against a woman (or women) and
puts that person in his place....
then I'm Really impressed. In fact I'm shocked

opening the car door ... meh
standing up for women....Oh Bebe



YOJULEZ
SparkPoints: (15,605)
Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 2,171
5/1/13 3:22 P

Maybe it's the type of guys I choose to associate with, but I never thought chivalry was dead. The only thing my SO doesn't do at this point is open my car door... but then again I don't really expect him to... seems to be a waste of time when I can open it myself :). He still opens regular doors and does all the other "chilvalrous" type things.

The only time I thought it was kind of dead was when living in a big city, and a train was crowded, a younger man didn't get up to give a seat to a very visibly pregnant lady. I gave her mine.



GLITTERFAIRY77
Posts: 8,023
5/1/13 3:14 P

Hahaha!!! It is a large, good word that bears repetition.



BUNNYKICKS
Posts: 2,293
5/1/13 3:07 P

"sesquipedalian"

OMG I love your kid! That is MY favorite word of all time!



GLITTERFAIRY77
Posts: 8,023
5/1/13 2:58 P

"Chivalrous" is one of my mancub's vocabulary words this week, along with quixotic, and sesquipedalian. He's seven. Loves big words. It's pretty awesome.
Yes, chivalry is definitely more noticeable when it is displayed these days. Not enough parents are teaching their children common courtesy, let alone chivalry.



I_HEART_MY_FAM
Posts: 1,809
5/1/13 2:29 P

I don't want a man walking in front of me, or ordering from a menu before me, or using the restroom first if only one bathroom and he knows we both have to go. I think everyone should be aware before closing a door in public to see if someone else is entering and to hold the door open. I never expected or want my car door opened by a man, it just is not me. It seems unnatural to me. It depends on what each other want. If a woman wants something the man is not doing all she needs to do is ask, if he chooses not to then you decide whats more important the relationship or him doing that favor for you. I do think both partners need to call if going to be late, end up somewhere they did not mention they would be etc., it is called respect, respect is never out of style. I do notice one thing my husband does he will not let me bag groceries, he is the only man I ever see telling me to stop he has it. I start bagging as he is paying for groceries. The lady cashiers usually have something to say like wow I wish my husband was like that he makes me do it etc. If he notices I took the garbage out where he forgot he will apologize and he washes the toilets all the time too. He says toilets and garbage is too dirty for me to have to mess with and that really makes me feel good too. Any glass breaks, or ugly messes, or when kids were young and would vomit and he was here he would clean without a fuss not even having to be asked. In a world where woman want to be equal with men nothing should be expected. If the man does anything special then great, and if he does not and you want it tell him he may not know since women are so independent these days. I know some get insulted like they do not need a man to pull their chair out or open car door etc.



KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,787
5/1/13 2:07 P

I was listening to the local morning radio show and the topic of the morning was "Chivalry". The hosts were asking female listeners to call in and express their opinions about chivalry and are they surprised when their man or men in general do it like holding the door open for them or holding their hand or call them when they say they'll call, etc....

How about it? Do you think chivalry stands out more these days when it's displayed?
-------------------------------------

As a man I definitely notice it. I am a work in progress myself, I unlock and open the passenger door of the car for my gf and my daughters, I always let them go in front of me for anything, I now hold the door open for them and will hustle to the door if I'm too far behind, and other chivalry actions that I didn't do during my marriage.

When I see other guys do it I don't scoff at it like I use to, I use it as a reminder that I should do more of it.



 
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