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CINDYWENTZEL Posts: 36
7/12/12 5:22 A

JACQUIEJ1210,
Thank you for the advice. Luckily for me, my 2-year old aren't a picky eater, she loves any food, veggies and fruit. I don't like raw onions and don't eat them, but che will pick tham out of my plate and have them herself.
Like I said, the problem lies with my husband and trying to get through to him to see it the way I do.
She would actually pick out the veggies on the plate and have them instead of the meat!!

But I do appreciate all the suggestions, I've learned something from every reply on this subject.
Please keep posting with some more suggestions emoticon

2BFREE2LIVE SparkPoints: (308,318)
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7/12/12 4:37 A

My family has been on this journey to a new healthy lifestyle for over five years now. I did not try to change everything at once. Do substitutes and change a few ingredients at a time so that the family will get used to eating healthier foods. After a while they will enjoy the foods you prepare and everyone in the family will benefit from eating healthier foods.
Good luck to you and your family with a new way of eating.

EVILPASSION Posts: 84
7/11/12 11:54 P

@csj522 only you know how good -- or bad -- the fit is overall. But having been there and done that (too many times, as a matter of fact) it seems to be that if being healthy -- and later having healthy children -- is a priority --- then why mess around with someone that you know will never, ever help you achieve that goal and will probably go to lengths to keep that from happening? read my blog for the past year -- there's only a few entries but they sure address your problem.

CSJ522 SparkPoints: (15,957)
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Posts: 236
7/11/12 11:28 P

I struggle with this all the time. My fiance only likes unhealthy fried everything. I am thinking about removing the obstacle and getting back on a completely healthy lifestyle. The obstacle being the fiance.

What do you think?

JANDAH SparkPoints: (2,757)
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7/11/12 7:50 P

I am so, so, so fortunate that my youngest (15 yr. girl) LOVES veggies and fruits. Her favorite after school snack is veggie stir fry - I haven't found a vegetable that she won't eat. Seriously, brussel sprouts, kale, spinach and on and on....Given that she is an athlete her caloric intake can be astronomical, but she burns it. The problem child in my house is my husband. His favorite meal is a double bacon cheese burger with fries. Whines for it all the time. But I learned this trick years ago with my older girls. (I have a very stubborn family). I give them 2 choices, no negotiating - pick one. For example, do you want grilled chicken and cauliflower or tuna salad on tomato tonight? I am sure it is a control issue, but whatever works. He chooses and everyone is happy.

EVILPASSION Posts: 84
7/11/12 6:50 P

I worked for Head Start for a while. They feed all the children and staff the same....and no sugars other than the occasional cookie. When my daughter started there she would only eat maybe 3 things --- she had sensory issues along with her autism. They assured me that she would not go hungry without her 3 favorite foods and that she would eventually eat what everynoe else was eating. Of course, no child ate everything every day.....but they were certainly right that when children were faced with eat/no eat....none of them chose to go hungry although they all had their favorites (my daufther's developed into broccoli).

There was, however, one casserole that NO one would eat......not even the adults. it was sort of a tuna mystery food in a pintos-and-corn tortillas setting. They took it off the menu.....it was AWFUL, lol.

JACQUIEJ1210 Posts: 30
7/11/12 4:18 P

It looks like there are a lot of great suggestions... I just wanted to say that I have two dd who are older now (almost 16 and 9) and I do daycare for infants and toddlers so I have some experience with feeding children especially 2 and 1 yo. Each child is different but I would be willing to bet that your kids are going through the toddler diet of barely eating anything or only wanting to eat one thing. Most parents get so frustrated and upset about this but I just wanted to say that they do get past this but that you just need to keep offering the healthy things. They may not eat them now but they will at least try it...someday! And the suggestion of preparing things differently is very true.

I also have to agree with the food association. I too always associate a "snack" with sugary, cookies or thing like that because that was what my mom always did. I have really hard time breaking that...especially in the afternoon because it has been in grained in me from the time I was a small child. Of course, it sounds like you have tried to explain that to your husband with very little results. GL with that!

I also agree with making the change gradual. I am a one meal cook and if they don't like it, they are on their own. But it makes for much happier meal times if you can please everybody some of the time! So I make some of the meals each week familiar meals and then throw in a "new" one. And we have used the less fat meats for awhile so they are ok with that now. Again good luck!

GRIZ1GIRL SparkPoints: (127,191)
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7/11/12 12:12 P

Eating just one family meal is a great thing--but some of us just don't live that way. I tried that for years--and finally I got so sick of the stress of my kids whining & my husband making that "face"...the one where I knew he hated the food but was trying not to say anything.

So now I cook one meal that I know my husband & daughters will like--and I fix salads & healthy stuff for myself. Everyone's happy, and it's really not much extra work for me. When my kids are older they'll start liking veggies & things they don't like now.

My mom forced "healthy" foods down my throat as a kid--and I hated it. When I went to college I ate pizza & drank pop all day long as a rebellion. Being forced to eat "good" usually backfires. Later, as I grew up, I started finding new veggies & fruits that I'd never tried before--and LOVED!

So I don't worry about my kids finding their way...if I don't make them hate it now, they'll find all the things they love later on. :)

IVFNURSE1 Posts: 135
7/11/12 8:32 A

I make one meal and that is all - now there are modifications for my kids and extra portions for my husband. Example: last night we had salmon, quinoa and salad. My daughter loves the quinoa but my son doesn't. I gave him just 1 Tablespoon of it and then a small bowl of dry Cheerios so he had some grain as well. My kids like red leaf lettuce and cucumbers but are not yet big on the rest of the salad ingredients so their salads consisted of the lettuce, cucumbers and 2 pieces of broccoli and then a small bowl of strawberries and blueberries. My kids are 8 and 10 and I think they eat well.


LIVELAUFLUV Posts: 1,464
7/11/12 8:30 A

We all eat the same things in my house. It's just my husband and I now, but when my granddaughter joins us we have things that she likes, just prepared in a healthy way. We make chicken fingers and oven fries, all baked not fried when she comes over. We make sure that there are veggies on her plate, even though she doesn't really care for them, and have fruit for dessert.

STLCARDSFANS05 Posts: 916
7/11/12 7:40 A

we all just eat the same thing in my house.

CAMAEL100 SparkPoints: (27,996)
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7/11/12 7:00 A

CINDYWENTZEL - association habits can be very hard to break. And unfortunately your husband is creating one for his child. She is going to associate getting in the car after daycare/school/work with getting a sugary treat. I am only saying this as I struggled to break my association habits, like eating because I was watching TV or having to stop at a certain shop 'just because I was passing it'!! I also found that when ever I let my daughter watch TV, she would tell me she was hungry. This was regardless of whether she had just eaten dinner or not. And I realized she was creating her own association habit!

I am not sure how you approach this with your husband. He is right in saying he has a say in her upbringing as well, but maybe suggest less frequent treats and have treats not associated with just one event. Best of luck. As I said earlier, make small changes. Don't try to make everything good at once. It will all fall into place for you because you are committed to your daughter's health.

CINDYWENTZEL Posts: 36
7/11/12 2:48 A

emoticon
All the given information will help me a lot!!

I only have the problem now that my husband thinks its okay for our 2-year old to have a treat everyday when we fetch her from the daycare, and its not just any treat, its chocolate. Now she is so used to getting something, that when she gets in the car and see a grocery bag, she asks for her "nana" (SA baby talk for treats).
When I try to talk to him about it, he says that its his child just as much as mine and he can get her whatever he wants!!
She loves her fruit and veg and don't complain when she has to eat it, my husband is the bigger problem in this case!!

EX-PRESSO Posts: 478
7/11/12 2:22 A

I'm lucky.
on one hand, my husband and daughter likes healthy food.
and: we live in a 3 generation-house and if they do not like my food, there is always grannies ;)

A couple of days ago my daughter denied the meaty-stuff from grandma (let over from the day before - where she loved it!) and eat my tofu-vegetable-dinner ... *pfff*

But my father is a very picky meat-eater. He loves all the unhealthy stuff.
So he gets his own. While the rest of the family eats a bit more healthy.
But I'm working to convince him that eating healthier COULD help him with his weight loss and diabetes (Typ2 ) ... And sometimes he eats what the rest of us eats ... like fish with vegetables and herbs from the oven.

CICELY360 Posts: 2,759
7/10/12 11:26 P

Everyone should eat the same food. My parents didn't fix separate meals. I follow the same policy. I think that's why I never had a problem getting my aughter to eat fruits and vegetables. Healthy eating should be a family affair.

GIDGETATHOME SparkPoints: (482)
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7/10/12 10:04 P

I'm not on a diet, I'm just making healthier lifestyle choices. And I'm the cook of the family. Which means everyone gets to go along for the ride! I'm big into whole, unprocessed foods, and always have been, so there hasn't been that big of a change for us. Now we do two veggies and a salad with dinner, instead of one veggie or a salad, that sort of thing. I just make sure I get lots of the veggies and take a smaller portion of the other stuff. If anyone doesn't like it, then they are more then welcome to start cooking dinners (its an idle threat, really). The hardest part in my household is dessert. My husband believes its an every day thing, and plain fruit doesn't count. And I love to bake. What I'm trying to do is just bake once on the weekend, and make something smaller, so it only lasts a few days. That way we don't have dessert every day. And smaller portion sizes. Sooner or later we'll have to make a bigger change, but its a start at least!

POINTAFTER Posts: 888
7/10/12 8:55 P

I have a similar situation as LORENANR; my husband is the cook. I've always hated cooking. And I was smaller before I was married! Things like a large salad for dinner on a hot night didn't cut it with him and his son!

I am constantly looking for things we'll both enjoy. So far it's a short list - homemade soup, pizza (my half is plain) and popcorn!

CORNERSTONEGIRL SparkPoints: (1,633)
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Posts: 85
7/10/12 8:50 P

I am swapping the regular calorie ingredients for no or low fat, sugar, calorie, sodium etc. It is alot easier to do today than it was even 2 years ago. Wide selection emoticon That way we can still enjoy some of our favorite dishes.

GO_REN_GO Posts: 28
7/10/12 6:20 P

I'm in a different position than most -- my husband does most of the cooking. It's been that way since we started dating because he works in the restaurant business.

Thankfully, he cooks fairly healthy things for dinner (like grilled chicken breasts), loves whole wheat bread and pasta, and always has a vegetable side dish. But, it wasn't always this way -- I had to convince him to use whole wheat pasta and to switch to ground turkey. It just takes a lot of trial and error, honestly. The bigger challenge now is when he makes something that isn't so healthy -- like casseroles or pizza with lots of meat. So, on those nights, I eat more veggies, like a larger salad, and less of the not-so-good stuff.

Our 1-year-old eats what we do, although I'll give him plain steamed veggies (his favorite is steamed peas) and cut-up fruit (he loves blueberries) instead of salad. For him, I think the best thing is to be a good example -- if he sees me doing or eating something, he'll want it, too. At least, that's what I credit for his love of kale chips!

RAINDANCERJESS Posts: 50
7/10/12 4:46 P

For the kids: I am thankful to my mom for something she did when I was starting on solid foods - she gave me "desserts" like green peas, steamed broccoli, and all the fruit I could eat. I remember there always being plain cheerios in the house when I got the munchies between meals. Steamed broccoli is still one of my favorite foods as an adult. It's all about the presentation for kids. If you *have to* eat your veggies, no one would want to. If you *get to* eat them but only if you've tried three bites of everything on your plate first, they become a reward, especially if they are little trees with sprinkles of snow (melted white cheddar or a dab of mayo) or something similarly exciting to eat.

NANCYPAT1 Posts: 46,602
7/10/12 2:43 P

All of these suggestions are great. I saw someone say they don't eat what they don't like and don't expect the kids to either - I vote for that. I also saw some fabulous ideas about getting the kids involved and helping with both shopping and cooking. I always did that with my kids. This can come back to haunt you though - I used to let my kids choose the breakfast cereal in the grocery store and gave them one small criterion - it could not have sugar listed as the first or second ingredient on the label. My son is now almost 45 and he reads labels like novels in the grocery store and it takes us forever to get out of there. The main trick about that rule was that when he was a kid in the 70s ALL the cereal except about 2 had sugar as one of the main ingredients. The kids were occupied while I shopped and developed a taste for healthy cereals and not the super sweet kid favorites. My son would prefer veggies and fruit to anything else when he was little. Even now, healthy cooking and eating do not scare him. Since we live together, it is a good thing he is so agreeable.

FITNESSFAN10898 Posts: 106
7/10/12 2:14 P

I cook the same thing for everyone...we're all eating healthy emoticon

TMOORE073 SparkPoints: (3,321)
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7/10/12 1:01 P

I do agree this is hard. I am lucky thou my husband recently went on the Adkins diet. He wants to stay on phase 1 for awhile which really helps me to. I know exactly what we are eating all the time. Lean protein, fresh vegetables. This makes it so easy! My son is a different story. He is so skinny! He is such a picky eater. He only likes pizza, hamburger helper, meat & cereal. Ha ha. I try to grill a bunch of chicken on Sunday's & put it in the fridge for him. At least I know he likes something healthy! I keep trying to get him to eat healthier things. He will have no part of it. He thinks I am crazy for wanting to eat fresh veggies & salads. Maybe one day I will get him over to my side. Ha ha

CLARK971 Posts: 720
7/10/12 12:06 P

heyitslisa- your post made me laugh!

My kids, husband and I all like different things. My twins were fed the same things and one likes broccoli, the other doesn't. If the kids don't want what I made they can have a pb and jelly sandwich with a piece of fruit.

A taco bar works for us-I pile my plate high with lettuce to start. I still have sour cream and cheese, but not as much. I don't feed the kids fat free-they are very active in sports and based on their size, I don't see the need for it. If I am eating what they are eating, I just have less and make sure I measure and track. Sometimes I order pizza for them and have a 1/2 slice with a huge salad.

I will have a few veggies at every meal. Sometimes hubby and kids will eat them, sometimes just I will.

I probably cater to my family more than I should. I don't eat things I don't like (beans and pretzels top that list) so I don't expect my family to eat things they don't like. I have the kids keep trying little bites of new things.

Edited by: CLARK971 at: 7/10/2012 (15:54)
HEYITSLISA SparkPoints: (56,422)
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7/10/12 11:05 A

I cook the same as I always have (my hubby wouldn't know healthy if it bit him in the ass...), I just make sure I measure out my portion and stop there. I make some changes, but I have to be sneaky because if he knows he'll say he doesn't like it. I swapped out whole wheat spaghetti noodles and he's ok with that. I tried ground turkey in the nachos and he complained. I told him to be happy I didn't get low fat sour cream and he shut up. I always make sure to add tons of veggies on the side, even if I am the only one that eats them. And I have fruit for dessert.

C_DONE Posts: 231
7/10/12 10:59 A

Eating those leftover bites from the kids plates and the last two bites of the side dishes can really make those 100-200 calorie a day differences that mount up (or down) over time. Serve myself by portion and stop when it is gone is the solution. Also, just have to choose to pass on a few items that the rest of the gang has. Small price to pay for keeping trimmer.

CINDYWENTZEL Posts: 36
7/10/12 10:17 A

Wow, ClassicVixen and TIGGER2094, you really hit the spot!!

I never looked at it in that way at all.

This advice will definitely be my "ground" to fall back onto when things get tough and I get miserable!!

Thank you so so much!!

THATBRONWYNGIRL Posts: 659
7/10/12 10:07 A

I don't cook for kids, but I do cook for my dad and teenaged brother--they are NOT health-food people. So, I trim fat and calories where I can (use SmartBalance Light instead of butter, skim milk instead of whole, whole wheat flour instead of white, etc.), and a lot of times I'll make a good, lean protein as the center of the meal, with extra veggies for me and whatever side they want just for them...
I'll also make sides for everyone, but a different main dish--last night, for example, they wanted bratwurst (210 calories each!! YOW!! --and that's WITHOUT the bun!!)...so I made potato salad and carrots, and they ate bratwurst...and I had a veggie burger.

For the steak situation--what if you trimmed YOURS, and left his as it was? Or better yet--I buy salmon fillets when they go on sale, then wrap them up in a plastic bag (the Ziploc Perfect Portions baggies are great for this) and freeze them...they defrost fairly quickly, and you can toss one on the grill with his steak, and not blow your calories/fat out of the water!

There are ways to compromise and figure in your diet, without taking up more time. You just have to find your method and get in the groove!

AMPROSKE1 SparkPoints: (31,854)
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Posts: 423
7/10/12 9:55 A

I try to have one thing at every meal that everyone will like- such as macaroni and cheese or mashed potatoes. The rest of the meal is healthy. I had to make slow changes in my house because when my husband and I first got married, everything he liked had to be fried. There are still some things he won't eat- certain vegatables- but I make them for me and for my son. My son has always liked pretty much everything, and even when it is something he doesn't like that much, he knows that he has to eat a few bites of it anyway because it is good for your health.

LNTSMOM Posts: 72
7/10/12 9:52 A

Sounds like I might be in the minority but I don't eat meat so I'm always cooking separate meals but I don't mind. I'm very picky & I don't want to make my family eat what they don't want especially when I'm not going to eat it. My friends tell me I'm crazy but hey it's what works for our family!

TIGGER2094 Posts: 495
7/10/12 9:25 A

ClassicVixen, you sound like me! I have three girls and a hubby. Hubby does not want to go on a diet, though he really needs to for his health. Rules are, you eat your vegetables before you get a second helping of whatever you want. Desserts are not given at my house, except on special occasions. Snacks have to be at least an hour from a meal, both before and after meals. If it is a half hour before dinner, don't come screaming that you want ice cream, because you're not going to get it.
Hubby has to have meat at every meal, and eggs are not considered meat. Salads are not meals, even when ham and bacon bits are included. I don't like those rules, but we make them work. Instead of ham chunks in salad, we have it on the side lol. I have to have either fruit or vege at every meal, juices are not included.

CLASSICVIXEN SparkPoints: (2,397)
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7/10/12 8:21 A

I have 3 girls and a husband…this is tricky ground (I get accused of making everyone go on diets when I go on one…whatever, I’m the only one pushing healthy living).

Some of my basic rules:

1. The kitchen is closed at given times. This rule helps prevent late-night snacking, or all-day snacking these summer months.

2. Each meal, our plates will have something grown from a plant. Be specific with your definition because Daddy likes to twist the definition, saying potato chips come from plants...before a huge fattening process.

3. Seconds. If they want seconds of say, spaghetti (with whole wheat noodles and low-sugar sauce), they know that vegetable needs to be consumed first. Sometimes, the fiber-rich veggies fill them up and they don’t want seconds.

4. My girls are in charge of choosing produce for my grocery list or in picking the items and bagging them at the store. They are in charge of helping me cook their chosen produce at meals.

5. By now, they know when asking for a snack, I'm going to ask them what they're going to get. They know that before they can ask for crackers, something off a plant better be suggested. I allow crackers and grapes, too. It's a balance. We talk about it often. "We can have treats, but if we eat them all the time, it's just junk we're giving our bodies. I need you to grow. Healthy foods help you grow. When you get to be a grownup, you keep growing, but it’s sideways and that’s not healthy at all."

6. Do not use desserts as a carrot to eat healthy. That one always backfires (esp. with a climbing 2-year-old who can get into the cake anyway). You sit there fighting during a meal to eat the healthy items and you're bargaining with the 6-year-old to eat her veggies and how many bites she can take (again, her definition of a "bite" is different than mine). Desserts are limited in the house and I no longer have them as a daily event (for my own waistline as well as for my headaches). We're eating dinner because it's dinner, not because dessert follows. I do not want that to be our mind-set.

7. For desserts, if/when we have them, no one can have one until everyone at the table is done with their meal (since the 2-year-old doesn't understand why others have a Popsicle and she doesn't, yes, I'll push my veggies aside for that!).

8. We eat at the table. No tv on. No computer use. No phone. If nothing else, your kids have a great, healthy conversation with you, but you also know what sensitivities your children have, if the texture of a certain food bothers them, that they cannot keep their salt-cravings in check. As their parent, I’m able to give reasonable solutions to balancing out the “eat-potato-chips-until-the-huge-bag-is-em
pty” with “get a bowl, put chips inside and no more chips after that.” Look, just taught portion control! It’s easier to train that as a child than it is to retrain ourselves as adults. Plus, eating at the table for all meals reduce messes (including Daddy’s) and helps our children grow with the awareness of eating. They won’t have to retrain themselves later on.

9. Set up a schedule where your children help you make meals. I love the look on their face when they've helped me. They present this delicious, healthy soup they designed to their family and tell them the buttered toast was their idea, and they busily, happily serve everyone. It's given our 8-year-old the perspective of how disappointing it is to carefully prepare a meal, and have someone not eat part of it. I don't have to nag anyone to eat their veggies during those meals....she was doing it. And it's made her eat her vegetables without a fight at other meals.

10. Kids keep you in check. You create rules for your children, you have no choice but to follow them too. They watch you like hawks. If you promise your oldest (age 8) that you'll exercise with her an hour after dinner, but fall asleep instead, the middle child (age 6) will sit on you, literally, and tell you, "You promised!! But you're sleeping!" Whatever rules you make about sodas and eating out, they'll stick to them, but they'll also make you stick to them. It means you can't cave in because they look up to you....and your health and theirs deserve that Checks and Balances.

It’s training my kids to have healthier habits than I had growing up. And I have to model that good behavior. Is it always easy? No. Do I always have the means? No. Do I always have the energy and time? No. But we try and we talk about it often, but I know I can’t do this healthy living stuff on my own. I need my dream team – my family.


JAZZYLADY36 SparkPoints: (2,839)
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7/10/12 7:05 A

My son is 17 he has been cooking since he was 12, he loves to cook. We try to make things fun by trying a lot of new foods and some spices we normally would not try. Fruits and veggies are new to us and who knew they are so fun to cook with. Yesterday he cooked broc and rice with cream cheese in it and talipia yes very good for a 17 year old. Next iron chief. emoticon

CAMAEL100 SparkPoints: (27,996)
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Posts: 2,445
7/10/12 6:48 A

I agree with lots of the comments on here. Very interesting topic. You do owe this to your children to cook healthy for them. They are too young to decide for themselves. And I find that when they know that is all that is available then they will eventually eat it. It is no good asking them to eat healthy stuff if they know they can get sweets etc later if they don't.

Make the changes slowly. Wouldn't you be happy if your family was eating healthy by this time next year. I think quick fixes back fire. Make little changes every week. I got my kids eating whole grain pasta by adding a little to the other pasta and increasing the wholegrain amount bit by bit over time. This was one battle I thought I would never win and I did without any confrontation. Small changes made consistently over the course of a year make a huge difference. If you try to change everything at once you will turn everyone off. Best of luck. It will be worth it in the long run!

BECCAR6 SparkPoints: (16,068)
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Posts: 59
7/10/12 6:44 A

This is something that is an ongoing battle for me as well. I have 4 kids and a husband that was raised on meat and potatoes. I am not a short-order cook and do not have time to make meals on demand.

I have been making gradual changes. I will usually prepare a meal they like and make small changes that they may not notice. Then another day during the week, I make a meal that is healthy. If I make something that is less healthy then I serve a salad with it so that I can load up on that and then have smaller portions of whatever else I fixed. I make two veggies, one that is less favored and on that I know they all love. They get both (a small portion of the one less favored) and must eat both. I will continually re-introduce foods to them. I have found that overtime my children have learned to love asparagas, broccoli, and spinach.

If I make something that is new that may be strange for them, I cook something similar for the kids then I make them try the new meal but serve them what I cooked for them. For example, last week I cooked a healthy blackened chicken with wheat pasta and veggies. I grilled their chicken with no blackened seasoning but served the rest of the meal as it was for my husband and I. What I am finding is that the majority of my family is liking the things I am cooking as their tastes are changing over time.

When I make a recipe I always have them rate it. If they like it I put it in my family's healthy cookbook. If they don't, I either modify it or throw it out. That saves time later when I plan my meals.

One final thing, get the kids involved in the planning and the cooking. I find they are more likely to eat the things they choose and cook.

KAPELAKIN Posts: 1,971
7/10/12 12:21 A

Tell your husband that this is something that you both need to do to set your children up for healthy lives. Show him some of the articles and research on how the damage of poor diet and obesity stays with children forever, and is way worse than gaining weight as an adult. Yes, it's a guilt trip, but if that's what it takes, so be it. Also, tastes change. He wants all that cheese and deep fried stuff now because he's conditioned to crave it. He won't miss this crap after a few weeks or months of eating better, and he'll probably find that he feels better as well.

My husband eats the healthy stuff I cook for the most part, but still makes himself a quesadilla or has chips or icecream after dinner. Not really what I'd hope he would do, but he's an adult, and can eat what he wan's. No way I'm fixing it for him, though.

EVILPASSION Posts: 84
7/9/12 11:03 P

jess: Amen. don't fall into the trap i fell into.

BUBBLEJ1 Posts: 2,810
7/9/12 10:42 P

I am not a cook. I do not cook to order, and I do not cook multiple meals. I cook what is best for the family and the budget. This means healthy meals. Don't like what I cook? Tough. Make yourself a sandwich. I'm not a radio DJ, I do not take requests. If you want something different to what I cook, feel free to do the cooking.

As for your children, they are 2 and 1 and in my opinion get no say in what they eat. As a child I ate exactly what I was given. If I didn't like it, I didn't eat it and that was fine, but I did have to try it. It didn't kill me, and it won't kill your children They can eat the same foods as you; In fact is it good to expose young children to lots of different kinds of foods. As long as they are eating solids they should just be eating a smaller portion of what you eat... That is what my mum did with me and I'm still alive.

Do I sound like a witch with a B? Yep, but I know my family benefits from this attitude, and I do too.

MRSKATEDUVALL Posts: 1,584
7/9/12 10:15 P

I battle this fight daily. My kids are older, teenagers and when they were little and forming their nutritional palette, my husband was in charge of food ( I worked full time and went to grad school).. Now, they wont eat anything "strange" exoctic, spicy or adventureous. They would prefer beef, carb and , tomato sauce= pasta, tacos, sloppy joes, hamburgers. When this healthy life started, I tried all sorts of new recipes. My dogs ate really well. I noticed that my grocery bill was way higher, and I realized that I was cooking a healthy meal for 4, and buying and fixing a second meal that they would eat. I quit. I refuse to cook two meals, and I refuse to cook anything bad for me. I was tired of the comments and attitude. So now, I make dinner for me, and for them if they are willing. If not, they are big people, they can fend for themselves. My budget is not so wacked. I am not wasting as much food, but I miss cooking for the family. My deepest wish is that they would join me in this exciting adventure called health. My advice to you is to keep the faith with you and your daughter. Your husband might come around.

SLIMMINGBEAUTY Posts: 290
7/9/12 9:58 P

Make sure you aren't overemphasizing the "weight loss" part of eating healthy. Some men have an aversion to that. Begin to make changes that aren't so noticeable and prepare foods that can do double or triple duty for the week. It might also be a good idea to sit down and have a heart to heart with him about why you are trying to eat better. Use any family health issues or recent complaints of his to your advantage (his knee, back or family history of diabetes, etc). Above all, regardless of what he does, do what you have to in order for you to be healthy.



EVILPASSION Posts: 84
7/9/12 9:25 P

Boy this is emotionally charged for me. go back and read my blog page, you'll see why....but in short, I recently ended a relationship in part because my spoiled partner (who has uncontrolled diabetes) insisted....demanded is a better word....sodas, breads, snacks, deep fried stuff, loads of greasy meats, you name it. Not only did he demand it but he made fun of healthier stuff.

Fruits? "I don't like the texture".
Veggies? with a few exceptions, it was "ewwwwww".
Meats? "I'll just add some sauce".

If he cooked, it was his way. I can't believe what we put in our bodies these last 4 years. Two or three liters of CocaCola a day (him, not me). To make a long story short, he's living back with his mom now, I had no intention of finding him dead in bed. My guess is she won't put up with it either, so he'll do what he did with me: eat up his paycheck before coming home.

There are going to be people who will NOT, no matter what, cooperate with better health. Only you can decide if you should still cook nothing but junk for him. You DO have a moral responsibility to cook healthy foods for your children and to refuse to provide junk.

When you're making a decision over whether or not to cook nothing but junk for him, remember you are also making a decision to not complain if you find him dead in bed.

EILEENOH Posts: 7
7/9/12 8:43 P

Dear Cindy,

I also have a carnivore for a husband and my son has sensory issues and is very picky, so I sympathize with you. My doctor told me that if I didn't make changes I would have diabetes within the next three years. When I told my husband this and explained that it would be impossible to lose weight and continue to cook the way I had been, he was very understanding and willing to try new things to support me. If you approached your DH that way, I bet he'd be supportive too--after all--he gets to enjoy the pleasure of having a healthier and potentially slimmer wife!

We've been making changes for a while now-first we switched to whole grain white bread, then to regular whole wheat. I started introducing brown rice and initially it was a non-starter, but over time, he has adapted (and in his opinion any rice is better than no rice). I also try to put some good, crusty whole grain bread on the dinner table and he can fill the empty corners with that. Regarding meat-I just get the leanest I can and trim visible fat like a fiend. In terms of lean-ness: chicken and turkey breasts instead of thighs, pork loin and tenderloin instead of hams and butts, etc.. I've had a lot of success using ground turkey instead of beef for chili and tacos but for hamburgers we like beef, so I get the leanest (96% lean) and then use herbs and a little reduced sodium soy to season. Such lean hamburger can dry out quickly, so cook it carefully, but let your husband have the full-fat cheddar on his.

Good luck! emoticon

SHEL_V2 Posts: 168
7/9/12 3:48 P

My husband is a picky brat. He is not as articulate as some about what he'd like on his plate, so at least I don't get specific requests. I'm too lazy to ever deep fry anything, so we didn't have that little problem.

The only fresh fruit he'll eat is apple, so there is one sliced up on the fruit plate every night, along with berries, pear, grapes and other yummies for me and our son. Hubby eats baby carrots, so they are almost always on the table. If there were any cooked veggies he'd eat, those would be there, too.

My husband will eat salad, so I make it frequently, and try a little bit of new ingredients to see what variety I can get. I measure out the salad dressing carefully and rub it into the lettuce and spinach so that 2 TBLS will cover the whole salad. Panko bread crumbs are a great substitute for croutons, especially in a caesar-style salad. A small portion of wonton or tortilla strip toppers goes a long way to adding crunch and interest to the salad.

I like the suggestions to reduce the fat content of meats. I don't usually cook meat because I don't eat it. My husband has learned to enjoy a lot of the substitute fake meats. Our son prefers them to the real thing. Even in a meat-eating family, Morningstar or Boca crumbles can replace cooked ground beef in tacos and casseroles. Cooking and clean-up are a snap!

We get take-out a few times a week; just no other way to make dinner happen on those nights. Subway gives everyone lots of choices; I've zeroed in on the healthiest choice my husband likes, and started having them sneak spinach in with the produce. Now he orders it that way himself!

Just keep finding more healthy choices to bump off the unworkables. As other posters noted, try not to overdo a new favorite, or you'll get a rebellion. Work some leftovers (for you) into the meal plans; make plenty of a low-fat, high nutrition soup so that you can skip or minimize your portion of a family-favorite entree. Keep exploring new techniques and flavors for you, maybe the rest of the family will catch up. Roasted veggies are totally worth the small amount of olive oil required and don't seem deprived to me!

MAGGIEMURPHY4 SparkPoints: (13,865)
Fitness Minutes: (10,813)
Posts: 936
7/9/12 3:39 P

In this day and age where we know so much, we should all be eating more healthy. I don't know how old your husband is but he can't continue to eat like that every day and not pay the price down the road with high blood pressure, heart disease, and high cholesterol. As far as your children go getting them eating healthy from an early start will instill healthy eating into their teens and adulthood. If mommy and the kids are eating healthy your husband should follow. Try replacing a couple of meals with healthy ones and no other options and gradually build on that. In the mean time you can keep your veggies without all the fat and have smaller portions of the meat. Eliminate potatoes and rice with salads...The summer time is the easiest time to implement this as most of the time it is too hot for big meals.

Just remember it is a lifestyle change...It will gradually become habit.

KAJENNINGS1 Posts: 16
7/9/12 3:08 P

My kids have no problem eating whatever I eat. My husband on the other hand is one of those guys who think men shouldn't work out & anti-healthy food. However, I know how to fix him. I simply make some sort of protein with a low carb veggie like broccoli & cheese or mixed veggies & he's good to go....

ALIDOG819 Posts: 476
7/9/12 2:30 P

My husband usually likes what healthy stuff I make, but my 2 1/2 year old has some adversion to veggies and can pick them out in anything!!

I usually seperate things out -- protein, veggies, etc. -- instead of making anything that's go that all together. If my son suspects a veggie, he won't eat it. However, he eats what we eat, no exception. He can eat it or be hungry. Also, I've been serving a fruit salad for him on the side as we get salads on the side.

I think healthy subs are the way to go (turkey for beef, etc.) and if you're hubby is completely against it, give him a pan and show him where the stove is! Good luck. I know it's hard when it's more than just you you have to be concerned with.

SCTK519 Posts: 2,085
7/9/12 10:13 A

If you're the one that does all the cooking, or most of it, I think you have the most say since there's no reason to be making separate meals for your husband, your kids, and yourself. Everyone can eat the same thing. Depending on what you make though it's possible to include some of the things your husband likes. For example if you're baking chicken breast, they're individual so you can put more salt, pepper & cheese on your husband's and less on yours. You could also see where you can make substitutions. For example, when I cook for my husband and I, I'll switch out ground beef for ground turkey. We make turkey burgers a lot instead of beef burgers and they're great; I'll season my husbands, but not mine.

I'll make more food for my husband but it's still healthy and if he wants something different, it's up to him to make it.

Edited by: SCTK519 at: 7/9/2012 (10:14)
FAITH2FLY Posts: 195
7/9/12 9:44 A

JEN gave you some great tips - my main advice to you is to start your kids eating vegetables now. Everyone marvels at how I "get" my 7 year old to eat veggies but I started when she began eating solid food. If she doesn't like something, I try cooking it a couple different ways before giving up on it. For instance, she didn't like cooked spinach no matter how I seasoned it or what it was served with, but I found she loves it raw in a salad or sandwich. I've never had the food budget, time, or patience to cook different meals for all of us. It's always been eat what is served or possibly go hungry. Seems tough, but that's the "rule" we made as a family. I give favorites a healthy makeover and search out new recipes to try out - I like allrecipes and sparkrecipes and savingdinner for websites. I still make traditional things once in a while, but modify my portion to include a smaller serving of the main dish and a bigger serving of veggies. My daughter will often look at my plate and ask for more veggies too. Your example is important!

As for my husband, he eats vegetables mainly because he knows they are good for him (he never had to eat them growing up). We had a talk about how important nutrition is for his body and to give him energy while he is on his feet all day at work. Even though he may be skeptical of some things (like quinoa for example), he ends up enjoying them so its not like he is having to choke anything down. If he wants something unhealthy, he knows he has to make/go get it himself.

JENMC14 Posts: 2,707
7/9/12 8:58 A

I am very lucky that my husband likes to eat healthy, and neither he nor my kids are too picky. My only thing is that my husband is low carb, so I don't make casseroles or anything that mix our protein and carb. Also, if he wants steak (it's not something we do often), I'll get myself a chicken breast instead, but, for the most part, I cook all of us the same thing. I'll make a veggie on the side and sometimes fruit that the girls and I eat. My girls, by proxy, end up a bit low carb for dinner since I don't buy buns for burgers or sloppy joes, and i odn't typically do rice or pasta.

What I did is to start with our favorites (we eat the same stuff over and over, really). Burgers, brats, tacos. I switched to extra lean ground turkey. (You can also use extra lean ground beef, it's just often a bit pricier and stilll a bit fattier here.) I use Turkey or Chicken brats and sausage. We do breakfast for dinner a lot. I'll make an eggy, cheesy scramble for my husband and kids and cook myself some egg whites and do center cut bacon or turkey sausage crumble in it. Low carb, whole wheat toast, sometimes made like French toast, or pancakes with sugar free syrup. (This is the one time where I'll make mine sepearate since it's not hard or too much extra work.) Or, I might make an egg casserole using Egg Beaters and reduced fat cheese. Just look for ways to make family favorites healthier. Add more veggies to your meals as well.We also try to eat shrimp once a week. I was doing fish, too, but my husband got sick of it. I'm thinking of adding it back into the rotation. Make your own salads and make your own pizzas (using flatouts or tortillas) are also hits at my house.

Edited by: JENMC14 at: 7/9/2012 (09:55)
CINDYWENTZEL Posts: 36
7/9/12 8:47 A

I would just like to know how you other mommys do it??

I have a husband who loves all unhealthy food (deep frying, melted cheese on everything, lots of red meat with the fat) and two little girls, 2 & 1.
It is so difficult for me to stay on trach with a healthy diet!!

How can I make the meals so much more healthier so that my husband don't complain and so that my girls can have dinner with us!!

I'm desperate for advice!!

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