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IMATTER2GOD Posts: 176
2/21/11 2:44 P

I can feel your pain, I have a 16 year old son, who although he is 6 ft, he is also about 75 pounds over weight. The doctor has gotten on to him, even set him up for an appointment at a nutrionist. I nag & nag, but it's as if he really doesn't care. I don't know what to do, I remind him to eat fruits & vegtables, & drink his water, & most importantly exercise. I'm waiting for winter to ever get over & I am hoping we can go out & walk together, also he is supposed to be starting up softball with the church league, so hopefully that will help some. I have told him several times I feel responsible for his bad eating habits, if only I would have started when he was young, maybe he wouldn't be so overweight.....

YNMONSTERS SparkPoints: (4,467)
Fitness Minutes: (510)
Posts: 7
2/20/11 5:29 P

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!! You can do it for you!! And your daughter! Weight lose is supposed to be for you and not anyone else, however teaching healthy habits is for all that you love. So get off your keester and get moving (I know easier said than done-I'm guilty of not getting off mine often enough). Find something you and your daughter/s can do together. All 3 of my older children and myself and sometimes dh (he works nights and 12 hr shifts) do tang soo do 2 days a week. Also cook with your daughters-both of them, not just the one reaching out. Have your dh help prepare meals, have both girls help. My kids all help and they range form 3-13. My 3 yo can help by getting out hte veggies or fruit we are having, she can help set the table or get other things out and ready. If she can help so can both your girls.
If you decide you have to go out to eat that night, what about walking to where ever it is? Or biking? In all honesty I'm not so sure eating out saves time, because by the time you drive there, order, wait for your food to be cooked and drive home, you probably could have made something at home. I think the only thing it saves is having to do it yourself (part I LOVE getting out of
I know you can do this if you put your mind to it. Make a list of meals you want to cook and prepare things ahead of time. You may have to do some prep work in he am before you leave.
Maybe work out with your daughter/s in the am before everyone has to go to school or work. It will jump start the day for each of you and it is something you are all doing together.
I wish you the best of luck and I can't wait to hear how you succedded!

PUDGE32 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (7,114)
Posts: 39
2/14/11 9:00 P

My daughter is currently a few pounds over what she should be. There is a low end and a high end of scale. She is on the higher end. She loves to eat junk food. I put a stop to it and limited what they were eating and when. We walk everywhere and bike when we can. We are very active as a family. But my advice to you is to find something she likes to do. Dance, yoga whatever and get her started. There are all kinds of websites for kids looking to lose weight. My daughter wants to join sparkteen but she's only 12 (you have to be 13). Just have her keep a journal of what she's eating and go over it with her to see where she can improve her eating habits. If she's not happy with her body, find out the culprit. Girls usually don't have an unhealthy body immage for nothing. Mostly it's because of peers or what they are seeing. My daughter thinks there is nothing wrong with her body and I never tell her there is. Hope everything works out.

2/14/11 3:54 P

there just isn't a choice NOT to help your daughter. it's not ok to continue enacting an unhealthy lifestyle when your child is begging you to make changes. being overweight in childhood often leads to a lifetime of struggling with obesity and it's physical, emotional, and psychological impacts.

MYREALANA SparkPoints: (30,332)
Fitness Minutes: (21,950)
Posts: 3,865
2/14/11 2:23 P


If I come home after work, and I look at the schedule of karate, kumdo, band practice, Cub Scouts, chores and add on to that I have to figure out what to cook for dinner, I feel completely overwhelmed. I'll end up ordering in, or telling my husband to stop at a drive-through on his way home, or fixing convenience foods.

On the other hand, if I take a little while on Saturday and plan the week's menu, there's that pressure taken off.

Then, I use some tricks to help save time along the way. When I'm chopping onions for one meal, I chop a whole week's worth at once and package them in a zip-top bag for later. I'll roast a whole chicken on Sunday night and use the leftovers for chicken tortilla soup on Tuesday. Once you get the hang of tricks like this, you can have dinner on the table in twenty minutes every weeknight and it will hardly feel like work.

LADY.ELEA Posts: 74
2/12/11 1:15 P

The fact that you care enough to come to the message boards and post this is wonderful. My mother was morbidly obese and I grew up with horrible eating habits. Food was punishment and rewards. In high school I decided to do something about it and lost 90 lbs by counting my calories and getting up at 5am every morning to walk and then later run. I could walk 5 miles and run 1 mile. I swam and lifted weights as well. I wanted the weight off! The entire time my mother criticized me, put me down, and try to sabotage me. I never expected her to cook my healthy meals for me, I learned to cook when I was very young. I would often have to buy the ingredients for my healthy meals myself, sometimes with the money I earned working part time. I would catch her adding butter, cream, salt, bacon grease (I wish I was kidding) into the food I was cooking for myself. I would have to throw out the food, get yelled at for wasting food, and make something else. She would "clean out the fridge" and dispose of the fresh veggies I had bought saying that they were spoiled. If I wanted new clothes that fit my shrinking form I had to buy them myself. My mother resented every pound I lost. Those psychological scars stayed with me and once I left home and went to college I ballooned up. My heaviest weight being 270 pounds.

I have a daughter now and I refuse to force my problems onto her. I prepare healthy meals for her and play with her to make sure she gets plenty of exercise. She will imitate what she sees me do, so I have to change my attitude about food and exercise and model the healthy habits I want her to have.

Are you like my mother? Of course you are not! You are sincerely trying to loose weight and are a loving mother who wants to help her daughter succeed and be healthy. If you ever question or doubt your love and dedication to your daughter please remember this story. Loving her, supporting her, and helping her will make a huge impact on her attitude toward healthy habits. I wish my mother had cared about my health half as much as you do about your own daughter.

Be strong and keep us updated!

WISEDUP1 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (52,747)
Posts: 656
2/12/11 8:34 A

Maybe take some cooking classes together. It will give you two a chance to bond more and learn to cook something new! My local parks dept and food co-ops offers cooking classes. Perhaps yours does as well.
Good luck and keep us up to date with your outcome!
God Bless!

DEBORAHBROWN1 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (3,956)
Posts: 166
2/11/11 5:14 P

I too think that you need to take some steps to help her. Small steps will get you to where you need to be. Otherwise you wont keep it up. Small exercise routines, make more food at home with healthier ingredients, go for a walk together. Don't keep junk food in the house. Keep raw, cut up veggies in the house that she can help herself to them. There are many ways that you can help her. Just start doing it, today! It will become a habit.

I find it really amazing how many people say that it takes so much time to make homemade meals - but really when you think about it - it just takes a little imagination. With all of the internet recipe sites now a days - I find it's relatively easy to do. Give it a try - you both will be happier and you get to spend time with your daughter.

A few years ago my daughter was studying "sugar" in school and educated us on the amount of sugar in our food that we were eating at that time. Now we don't eat as much of that food and eat many more salads and oats and stuff instead of processed food.

Good luck with everything and have fun.

Edited by: DEBORAHBROWN1 at: 2/11/2011 (17:16)
2/11/11 2:48 P

Hey Girl, Listen, I am the mom of a special needs 10 yr old little girl. I am the only one she has in this world who can/will take care of her. I have no family. My husband/live-in could not do it. (he is not her father) Her father is deceased and he had no living family. I have friends but they could not do it. So with all of this at stake, how did I let myself get to 48 yrs old and 317 lbs, with high blood pressure, type II diabetes, etc.??????
And one day at a time is how I am going to fix this. I had "tried" to lose weight so many times during my life only to either fail or have it come back with more. But one day I started asking myself why I couldn't do this and others could. The answer I came to was hard. I did not beleive I could. I did not think I was worth the effort. I could not see myself as anything other than fat.
It was only after I realized those things and started working on the inside of me that made me feel those ways did I start having true success in changing my lifestyle. I have now lost 67 lbs. I have more to go but I have changed more than my weight. I have changed my frame of mind.
That is what you are going to have to do to be able to help your daughter. Deal with the things in you that are blocking your journey.

Good luck and let me know if I can help or encourage.


FENWAYGIRL18 Posts: 5,868
2/11/11 12:57 P

I'm not trying to be mean when I say this, but u need to step up as a mother and help her, if u don't want to do it for yourself do it for your daughter!!!
I am trying to lose weight cause i have a bp of 170/106 and I'm busting my butt and in pain everyday cause my son has said he doesn't want to bury me!!! He said mom I'll do anything to help you, cause I love you.... So when I'm thinking of cheating with something I hear my son's voice in my head....
She's crying out for help and she needs you!
You want to teach her the healthy way and make it fun for her to lose weight... u don't want her sticking her fingers down her throat and getting a eating disorder...
I'm really not trying to be harsh, but sometimes we need to hear the wake up call
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER and Forgive me if u think I was being mean, I wasn't trying to be...

2/10/11 9:05 P

Can she do much cooking by herself? My daughter just turns 12 and she can cook all kinds of things..even some pretty elaborate things. She talked me into buying her a kitchenaid mixer!
Teach her how to follow recipes. Maybe let her peruse SparkRecipes and save some that sound good to your Favorites and then shop and make some together. She could be a big help to you in getting supper ready so you eat out less. Maybe even do some batch cooking together. Train for a 5k together!
If you have a Wii do some Wii stuff like Zumba, Walk it Out, Wii Fit, Just Dance, Dance Dance Revolution. She is old enough that she can do much for herself with some guidance.
My kids teach themselves all kinds of things off youtube! lol They can do origami, make cool friendship bracelets, all kinds of beaded projects, and know they've learned to KNIT..all by themselves! Encourage her to search this site and the web to find some fun and healthful ideas for you all to implement together!

Edit to add: I think the website for the food pyramid is something like Let her check out that site and learn how many portions of various types of foods are good for her healthy. They even have a worksheet you can print out to track your intake (specifically for kids!) She can focus on getting certain amounts of each food category maybe more so than counting calories, learn about portions, etc.

Edited by: MOMMYNURSE at: 2/10/2011 (21:07)
TROPHYWIFE2009 Posts: 61
2/10/11 1:08 P

I am in the same boat as you are VegasMom2. I have a 10 year old daughter who is overweight as well and has said the same thing about wanting to lose weight and eat healthy. I try to convince myself that her weight is just something that will eventually go away; because my 17 year old was overweight at her age and he has grown out of it and participates in a couple of sports... so he is very active. So I'm hoping she follows in the same route he did. Good luck with everything.

SUITABLE Posts: 5,771
2/10/11 12:09 P

I would try to go for a walk or a bike ride everyday with her. Something small. You cannot do it all at once so just choose one healthy thing a day to do together. I used to play the dance dance revolution computer game with my daughter. It really got us moving in a fun way. Now I play the Kinect Dance game with my wife. So fun...

2/3/11 11:06 P

She's at the age where she can be easily influenced by other girls who may not have the healthiest eating/exercise habits. She is looking to you now, which is key to developing those life skills. It may also be helpful to see a dietician for yourself and your family, as family members often listen better to others (plenty of experience in that dept!).

You can't change the past--focus on today!

JOSEPHSMOM8 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (1,215)
Posts: 7
2/3/11 5:30 P

Vegasmom2 - Your daughter is ready to make the change. You don't have a choice but to step up and help her. She needs you. You are her mother. You have to teach her the best ways to handle her weight or to make her comfortable with the way she is currently. Either make the changes you need to make in your life or get her into some programs in the community that she can be active in that will help her and teach her the right ways to eat. Your motivation should be your daughter and not wanting her to struggle all her life the way that a lot of us have. I was always insecure about my weight but my parents never taught me the right way to do things. It sounds like you know what to do. I too hate to cook after working all day. So if you are going to go out, you will have to limit the food that she's eating and teach her about portion sizes. Teach her healthy from junk. I didn't have anyone to teach me those things and I've decided that now is the time to learn. It's definatly a chore but she will be so much happier when she's happy in her own body and you'll be much happier that she's a more well balanced child. If you are depressed, don't stick your head in the sand. That's only going to make things worse. Just my opinion...

HOOKCHICK Posts: 143
2/3/11 4:48 P

Me, my husband, and my daughter are all overweight, and I have felt terrible guilt and depression about it for years. I guess I've been waiting for something to "kick me in the butt", but I think turning 40 last August made me realize, nothing is going to kick me in the butt. I have to do it by myself, and for myself. You can't expect your family to go along with you; they might drag you down. You have to put yourself first, and hope that your changes rub off on your family, and that they are motivated to decide to make changes for themselves. Sounds tough, and it IS tough; but that is what's working for me.

2/3/11 11:26 A

When I started on this change for myself, I forced my family to do it ;) I was in the grocery store the other day and chips ahoy cookies were on sale, my lids love them. Instead I saw the little Debbie cakes that are 100 calories each (delicious). I bought those. The rule has always been, and always will be, as long as you have a healthy snack you can have a piece of cake or cookies. I also tell them that they MUST do 30 minutes of cardio whether it be ride their bike, play soccer in the backyard, play Just dance 2 on the wii. Alos, look and see if her school offers the "girls on the run" program. If not, why don't you start one ;) Don't beat yourself up. It's not important what you have done, it's more important what you do to "undo" it. Good luck!

ISWELA Posts: 131
2/3/11 9:28 A

Take it one day at a time. Maybe premake meals on your day off and freeze them and then you can just get them out one at a time. On days when you don't want to cook try going to subway and getting the low fat subs. It really does help to start slow, so maybe start with 10 mins of exercise a couple days a week and then start adding to it when you are ready.

VEGASMOM2 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (180)
Posts: 53
2/2/11 1:14 P

I am 34 year old mother of 2 girls. One is 11 and one is 8. My 8 year old is skin and bones and my 11 year old is very overweight, she currently weighs 125 and it is all my fault. I have been struggling with the life style change for over a year now. When I first started did so good lost 50 pounds of which I have put 30 back on and weigh 190 now. We do keep healthy fruits and veggies in house my problem is I go to work all day and when I get home I am tried and don't feel like cooking so we go out. Recently my 11 year old told me she wants to lose weight that she is the fattest of all the girls in her school. This should be my motivation. She likes to eat good and exercise and will do it with my hubby when we do it but I just can't stay on it. What kind of mother am I to not provide a healthier environment for my daughters?? She is so unhappy with her weight and I just know if I could get on it she would lose some weight and feel better about herself. I think I am just in a real depression about what I have done to her that I cannot make positive changes. I just wish someone could help me be a better role model and "turn that switch" on me so I can see that things need to change. Any advise on how I can make this change??

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