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FITNESSFOODIE Posts: 3,340
1/4/13 6:41 P

I was not sure about which "feelings posts" you refer to, but especially the general boards like the cafe can get a wide diversity of topics or non-topics. How or if you respond is up to you. I find certain message boards that have topis interesting and relevant to me and "hang out" there, only coming here occasionally. Each of us has to "personalize" our experience, and the variety of choices is a big plus.

Edited by: FITNESSFOODIE at: 1/4/2013 (18:41)
COXBETH SparkPoints: (6,868)
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Posts: 421
1/4/13 3:00 P

I feel (HA!) like there's a difference between posts ABOUT something and posts that involve an icon or one word.

My mental game is really how I'm going to succeed at all this weightloss stuff, so sometimes I like to read and write about it. Simple as that.

I don't find any personal value to me in answering some of those "use an emoticon" or "positive or negative" posts. I think if someone were to follow up with me on my page or on my blog though, I might find them much more valuable. And for people who talk less than me (which, let's face it, is most people. verbose is my middle name.), those one word posts might keep them accountable for logging in to the site to put in info about their food or workouts or whatnot.

I also didn't find the original post negative. There was honest curiosity about why people need that and telling someone that they should just "not read those posts" while simultaneously being upset about their post seems hypocritical to me. If you didn't like his question, just don't respond to THIS post.

REYNINGSUNSHINE SparkPoints: (20,346)
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Posts: 523
1/4/13 2:43 P

Does it do me good to dwell on my feelings?

Uh, yes.

I spent a few years running away from them, only to find myself depressed and overweight. I didn't know how to say how I was feeling to anybody, and that caused stress to build up and my relationships- especially with myself- to falter. I found a therapist to help me over that. Now, sharing how I feel is a big thing. In relationships, if you're unhappy, holding it in *tends* to do more damage. There is a difference between having a little pity party and milking being "sad" and noting when you are angry, upset, sad, or whatever your true feeling is. TYPICALLY speaking, when people are able to say they are upset about something, they do end up feeling better. You can look up studies if you want, or you can just take my word for it.

Now, it may not be for you personally, but in my experience with myself, my collegiate studies, and growing up in the home of a psychologist and psychiatrist, I find most people agree that sharing feelings relieves some of the stress associated with it. Also- if "feelings" posts didn't matter to you, why create this post? This post kind of appears to be a complaining post about how you FEEL about the topics being discussed! Did you feel better after writing it?

The one-word posts that you think are a cheap way to get points- for some people, sure, it can be. For other people, no. Sometimes, we use that stuff for fun! YOU may not find it fun or calming, for some people might find posts like this to be anxiety-causing, and might find the fun posts where people "order" something at a cafe or say how the weather is- no matter how uninformative you find it- to be stress-relieving.

SP is about health. People have different ways of getting healthy. It isn't all about weight loss or weight gain or nutrition and physical fitness or body fat % or muscle mass. It's about holistic health and wellness.

ANJOYLA SparkPoints: (25,713)
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Posts: 469
1/4/13 12:28 P

Positive

NGREGOR SparkPoints: (16,381)
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Posts: 728
1/4/13 12:21 P

PSCHIAVONE2 - look at how many thoughtful and feeling comments you have generated with just 1 simple question. Good job.
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ANJOYLA SparkPoints: (25,713)
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Posts: 469
1/4/13 12:13 P

I think if you are an emotional eater then there are posts for that. I think that on the Spark People Cafe people posts a whole range of topics to post on. So if you want to you there is a way to post what you think and feel.

KSTDYBEAR SparkPoints: (3,190)
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Posts: 5
1/4/13 12:11 P

Interesting thread. I guess the bottom lines would have to be ... readng any of these threads is totally optional. If you don't understand a thread or its purpose .. simply do not read it. You do not have to understand or validate a post for it to have value to others. You are truly entitled to your opinion .. as are we all .. but it is not necessary to denigrate others simply because you do not see the value in something. I am sure there are things you do in your everyday life that are a puzzle to others - we all do because they mean something to us. Allow others the freedom to post what makes a difference to them without havng to justify it to anyone else. Those who share their view will understand .. and the rest of us can just move onto the next post. I just recently joined Spark .. and from what I have read about the site and from what others have said it's purpose is to try to give each person what THEY need to be successful .. not what others think they should need.

For the record - I do not usually respond to those posts because they are not what I personally am looking for .. but I do defend their validity for those who do benefit from them.

PSCHIAVONE2 SparkPoints: (18,563)
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Posts: 513
1/4/13 12:10 P

I guess I will have trouble communicating on Spark. I have read what I wrote and still do not see why anyone would take exception. But hey, everyone is different and I can't possibly every write something that does not offend somebody. So I will do my best but not make any promises.

GRIZ1GIRL SparkPoints: (128,524)
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Posts: 2,241
1/4/13 12:00 P

Working on your weight issues is a very emotional thing...so I can understand asking how someone "feels" today. Some days I feel terrible about myself & life in general. Some days I feel positive & upbeat.

Regardless, I get up every day, take the kids to school & come home to my treadmill. Exercise, shower, go about my day....so yep, you just get going & get it done. Doesn't mean I don't have feelings though....thankfully I'm still human & not a machine. :)

NGREGOR SparkPoints: (16,381)
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1/4/13 11:56 A

Thank you all!! When I saw all of the single icon postings I, too, wondered what it is about. It says nothing. Another msg bd is the weather. Without a location "cold" means nothing. When I saw the posts, I thought I was the only "stick-in-the-mud" that didn't find the 1 icon or 1 word posts of any interest. Then I realized it is a way for people to get points without any thought or commitment.
I thought this was a site that shared and discussed health & weight issues as well as offered tools to help. I try to use the tools and offer info based on my experience or knowledge, for whatever it is worth. I'll keep doing that because health and weight issues have become very difficult to deal with in our world of convenience - especially in food and transportation.
Together...
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MWOODS21 Posts: 505
1/4/13 11:40 A

I like to see how many points I can get a day, I find it fun and I learn a lot. What is wrong with that? When I found this site I was looking for something that had some sort of an award system I thought this is for me!! I absolutely do not believe that people act like it's punishment to get low points, everyone has an opinion and this is mine!! emoticon

UPBEAT551 SparkPoints: (28,463)
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Posts: 986
1/4/13 11:22 A

I agree.
I don't understand the negative or positive about sharing points either. It's is the luck of the draw when it comes to points. Some people act like it is punishment to get low points.

GLITTERFAIRY77 Posts: 8,023
1/4/13 11:19 A

THIS is what you said. I copy/pasted it...

"I do not understand all the "feelings" posts. Especially the positive or negative ones. Who cares, just get up and do your thing. Does it do any good to dwell on your feelings?"

That doesn't really sound or look like you're trying to find out other people's opinions. I'm not saying you can't ask for them. I'm just saying you really could word things better so as not to come off across as if you're sneering.

GLITTERFAIRY77 Posts: 8,023
1/4/13 11:14 A

That's not really the "spark" way...I think you possibly could have worded it differently so your question didn't come off so much like a judgement. I mean, really read it. Whenever many people see "who cares?"-at least in this type of context-it comes off as a biting criticism, I think.
If you don't see the point in them, say you don't see the point of them, and ASK why others do. Intonation cannot be expressed in type, so no one heard the context in which you were presenting the "question." It didn't seem like a question at all.

PARICARP SparkPoints: (13,673)
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Posts: 283
1/4/13 11:07 A

They probably do it for attention and sympathy. Well... those of us that HAVE changed our lives are just going to think "suck it up, because that's the only way you'll succeed."

MWOODS21 Posts: 505
1/4/13 11:03 A

Everyone has a feeling that they would like to express, some may not have someone to talk to face to face or maybe they just want to vent a little! There is always a spark person listening and that feels good to a lot of us who just feels more comfortable expressing their thoughts with many support systems right here on SPARKPEOPLE.com emoticon emoticon

Edited by: MWOODS21 at: 1/4/2013 (11:04)
CLRWILLIAMS25 SparkPoints: (32,322)
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Posts: 1,066
1/4/13 10:48 A

I'd have to agree with CMCOLE that it is probably just a way to get daily sparkpoints. Same as "how many cups of water today" and "did you exercise today" or any of the other topics with 10,000 comments. I usually scroll through to topics with less than 100 comments to get to the things I am more interested in (that's how I ended up here :)

TIG123GER SparkPoints: (76,906)
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Posts: 2,116
1/4/13 10:38 A

Maybe you didn't mean anything negative but a comment like "who cares just do it" can come off that way - sorry, but I didn't take your question as a question but rather as a comment on how others choose to express themselves. Didn't mean to discourage you asking questions - that is the spark way - just maybe in a more positive positioning?

PSCHIAVONE2 SparkPoints: (18,563)
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1/4/13 10:33 A

I don't believe I denigrated anybody. I don't see a point to them but others do and they were able to express why. It just never occurred to me. That is why I asked the question. I just found out that I am not a feeler like others are. And that is ok. I never said I didn't like the posts just don't know whey they are there. I guess the spark way is not to ask questions to understand others point of view.

TIG123GER SparkPoints: (76,906)
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1/4/13 10:18 A

Sometimes reflecting on how and why you are feeling the way you are helps turn things around. Maybe you never have down days or get upset but others, including me, do and it's nice to know that there is a place that is NON-JUDGEMENTAL to express that. If you don't like those posts, don't visit them but you shouldn't denigrate those who do. That's not the Spark way!

CMCOLE Posts: 2,667
1/4/13 10:13 A

well, you're under no obligation to read them
but, as said - it may be just a way to get points

CAPECODLIGHT SparkPoints: (50,357)
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Posts: 3,025
1/4/13 9:29 A

I don't know if you have heard of the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator, but it is very well thought of in the social psychology arena. In any event, it is able to determine what "type" you are based on how you respond to questions in 4 major areas. People will either be Thinkers (T) or Feelers (F) in one of the categories. This means one's first response is to think or feel about a situation. Each values their approach over the others; so F's can view T's (like me) as cold and T's may view F's as wimps or too emotional. It is just the way we are. The Myers-Briggs is designed to help you figure out "what" you are and then how to better navigate the world around you. Long way of saying, I think (there's that word) all the feelings posts are important to people who are F's. I don't have any problem with them.

VATRUCKER SparkPoints: (20,629)
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Posts: 526
1/4/13 9:06 A

I feel like the sp network is there for those who need to express their feelings and gain support from others who may be in or have been in the same situation.. I really believe this is a vital part of the sp family. Some of us can get up and move on with the days emotions or the daily pile of do do that may fall in your face, others cannot. Example as being a war veteran(vietnam), sometimes I get in the mood to just not care about anything, BUT , then I will turn on the military channel and something will spark me to get up and be the man I was in the war. If those of us can make it in this world without support, we should count ourselves fortunate, because those of us who cannot make it without support have the SPark people website. I am reminded of a song from my younger days, PEOPLE WHO NEED PEOPLE ARE THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. I can make it without support, but others cannot, so they post their feelings, looking for answers in a world that really dosen!t care one ioda about U or me emoticon

DIDS70 Posts: 5,070
1/4/13 8:50 A

They may not be. it may be just a way to get their spark points.

PSCHIAVONE2 SparkPoints: (18,563)
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Posts: 513
1/4/13 8:20 A

I do not understand all the "feelings" posts. Especially the positive or negative ones. Who cares, just get up and do your thing. Does it do any good to dwell on your feelings?

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