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JENNILACEY SparkPoints: (81,972)
Fitness Minutes: (86,286)
Posts: 2,489
7/13/13 6:34 P

LADYSTARWIND- lol... don't worry, I'm still going to be popping onto Spark. You haven't gotten rid of me that easily. I still enjoy giving advice, guidance and motivation to other members on Spark. I'll just take a hiatus from micromanaging my diet and try to put into practice the tools I've learned here at Sparkpeople. I just need to trust myself more. I'm going to practice some intuitive eating. I've tried to track without ***obsessing*** but I just wind up falling into old habits.

And to the PP. I do think it has something to do with my late night snacking. I've been doing some serious soul searching lately to figure out the cause and I keep coming up with; "I just need the freedom". Obsessing and thinking about food and calories all darn day for the last year I'm thinking is probably doing more harm than good at this point. It's crazy... but I've noticed lately I'll cut a chunk of chicken or a sweet potato and weigh it on my scale and I get the predetermined grams, precisely. Scary almost, the accuracy! lol

I'm loving my workouts right now, I think I'll continue to track those... although it's not really necessary because I basically know my routine. I have managed to loosen up on those a bit the last month and have been taking 1-2 rest days a week.

Edited by: JENNILACEY at: 7/13/2013 (18:43)
LADYSTARWIND SparkPoints: (83,102)
Fitness Minutes: (65,019)
Posts: 4,896
7/13/13 5:00 P

Do you know the worst part of you following Icedmeter's suggestions--which I think are great by the way!!----????---- we will miss seeing you as active on these boards!! You have worked very hard to get where you are, and you very kindly share your hard-earned advice with others......

But I agree that you really ought to try some down time.... eat healthy--its not like you are going to suddenly forget everything you now like about healthy eating and turn into the Fast Food Freak of America (!)--enjoy your kids and celebrations, enjoy your workouts as time permits....and then check the scale in about 3 weeks.... I will wager you aren't up more than 5 pounds if that! And that may be exactly where you are both healthy and happy!!
Take care....and let us know how it works out!

ATHENA1966 Posts: 3,939
7/13/13 4:41 P

I completely agree with ICEDEMETER. It is time to give yourself a break! Continue to eat healthy, but continue to practice moderation while enjoying those foods that are less nutritious. Is it possible that the tracking and focus on your weight is triggering your late night snacking? It may be a combination of stress and the focus on your weight. I agree with the suggestion that you be at goal weight. You and I are the same height. Remember that muscle is heavier than fat. You have worked out and improved your muscle mass and definition (I can tell from your picture).

It really is time for you to give yourself some slack. You have been dedicated, consistent, and have succeeded. Focus on what gives you joy and happiness.


Edited by: ATHENA1966 at: 7/13/2013 (19:23)
EXCELDREAM SparkPoints: (85,808)
Fitness Minutes: (49,004)
Posts: 160
7/13/13 4:05 P

I've printed out many of my days nutrition reports so that when I get to the point I want to stop logging in and tracking, I can look through, find a day I like, and just repeat it. I know what the final tally will be without thinking about it ahead of time. Would that work for you? Other than that, the basic guidelines from SparkPeople should keep you from getting too far in the woods if you want to stop tracking for awhile - plenty of fruits and vegetables and lots of water. Keep meat servings to size of a deck of cards. You know....

CHESAPEAKE60 SparkPoints: (7,707)
Fitness Minutes: (12,886)
Posts: 432
7/13/13 12:11 P

And perhaps it is just too hard because your body is right where it needs to be for optimal health. At 5'2", perhaps 115 is just too low a weight to maintain? You say you are hovering near goal. Have you considered that, perhaps, a healthy optimal weight for you might be 120-125? So often we get fixated on the unrealistic thinness of actors and/or models and become dissatisfied with anything less for ourselves. Life is about being able to live and enjoy - hopefully in an active, healthy way. What have you really gained by getting down to some lower number on the scale if you are miserable, guilty, and stressed all the time? Just some thoughts.....

JENNILACEY SparkPoints: (81,972)
Fitness Minutes: (86,286)
Posts: 2,489
7/13/13 11:30 A

Thanks ICEDMETER! You are so spot on. It's absolutely true I've just gotten caught up the details. So funny because after I wrote my last comment I was doing the dishes and that exact same cliché entered my brain... "forest for the trees..."

I just need to live what I've learned for a spell and not turn it into something negative that I hate. That's just going to revert me back into bad habits if I wind up loathing the things I learned to love.

ICEDEMETER Posts: 1,332
7/13/13 10:45 A

Sounds to me like you've lost the forest for the trees, so to speak. You've gotten caught up in the details and forgotten the purpose.

You started this to lose some weight, get healthier, and find a fun, nutritious way of eating that would last you a lifetime.

So - you lost the weight. You are healthier. You have a fitness program that brings you joy. I've seen some of your recipes and food recommendations on the boards, so I know that you've found a fun and nutritious way of eating.

You got down to a randomly chosen "goal weight", but haven't spent enough time there to know if it is the weight that your body is happiest at.

You've put on a few pounds again, but you are also lifting, which you know is going to cause gain (or at least, it should - muscle gain is a good thing!).

Now, look at the big picture. The big picture is that you've put in place all of the tools and lifestyle features to enjoy a healthy life. The big picture is that the number on the scale is going to bounce around just like your blood pressure - it's just a snapshot of a moment in time and a few pounds either way mean literally nothing. The big picture is one of happy success, and further futzing with the minute details is only going to end up taking away from that success and not adding to it.

I'm thinking that you're a bit afraid to let go of the details and just trust yourself. If it were me, I'd put away the tracker and the scale for a few weeks, eat when you're hungry, do the workouts that make you happy, and see what happens. Eat the nutritious foods that make you happy, with an occasional not-so-nutritious food when the mood strikes. Give yourself and your family the example that living healthily without obsession is not just possible, but also enjoyable!

I think it's worth the experiment to see if the binges disappear and if you can start relaxing in to your "new normal" lifestyle, and start really enjoying life again. That's what it really is all about, isn't it?

Seriously, you've GOT this. Trust yourself and see where it takes you.

JENNILACEY SparkPoints: (81,972)
Fitness Minutes: (86,286)
Posts: 2,489
7/13/13 10:01 A

WARMSTRONG2- Yes, like I said... it's not exercising that's the issue. I love my exercise program and feel awesome after working out. I've recently gotten into power lifting. I just don't feel right when I don't workout. Today I am finally admitting I need a break (was suppose to lift today) but I have DOMS still. I'm just taking a break right now from doing some "power" cleaning around the house. When I don't work out *I have to* be doing something physical. Can't just sit around. I also do lots of nature hiking for fun. It's more feeling restrained/restricted in my diet and tracking and planning. I plan out what I'm going to eat days in advanced and micromanage everything... I'm getting sick of that, really.

SMHATTON- Thanks for the response. Yes, I have revisted old pics of myself... not pretty. Also, hasn't helped. I did consider putting up an old pic of myself on the fridge. ;) Maybe, I'll try that. I do have a day off my diet (what I mean is tracking, I still am mindful of what I eat) when I go to my in laws every other weekend/special occasions. I allow myself treats as well as long as they fit in my calorie range. I am always trying new recipes but lately I haven't been as much because I'm busier in the summer...

Just tired of 90% of my time being spent thinking about food/calories/food planning/recipes etc. I want to live a little! Not feel so tied down to this. I keep swearing I'll loosen up a bit... but I find myself back to micromanaging everything I eat/calorie deficit/tracking/macros etc. Almost, like an addiction. And the last couple months I've been binge eating, which I've never done... ever. Just trying to pinpoint the cause. I've been asking myself when I feel like a binge is coming on why I feel this way (and now I can tell when one is coming at the beginning of the day)... it seems it's always because I'm just tired of tracking, being rigid/micromanaging my diet. The binge is like a release of freedom. I just want a normal relationship with food, you know? Where it doesn't consume the vast majority of my day/thoughts.

Edited by: JENNILACEY at: 7/13/2013 (10:04)
SMHATTON SparkPoints: (628)
Fitness Minutes: (190)
Posts: 3
7/13/13 9:27 A

Hi JENNILACEY! You sound a lot like me. I tend to start gung-ho on projects only to get tired or distracted of it and then just stop it all together. You need to do a few things to get your SPARK back. This is what I would do ...get out some old pictures of yourself before you lost the weight. That is a big motivator usually! Think back about why you wanted to lose the weight in the first place. Now...put on your favorite outfit and then go take a long look at yourself in a mirror. Put a picture of yourself at your heaviest on your fridge. Now one more thing...IT IS OK...TO GO OFF THE DIET ONCE IN AWHILE. Have a certain day or night picked out that you allow yourself a little indulgence and tell yourself that you cannot do this at any other time. If you have a special occasion coming up...than switch your indulgent time to that day or time and skip your scheduled time. If you get weak...go back to the pictures and the mirror. Hope it works hun. When we have a tendency to put on weight ...we need life choice changes..for a life time. But it doesn't have to be a prison sentence. Try some new recipes or a new food...just be careful and check out the calories and nutrients. Good Luck! Also...prayer helps!

WARMSTRONG2 SparkPoints: (406,386)
Fitness Minutes: (146,071)
Posts: 15,012
7/13/13 8:53 A

I go play golf where I get some exercise but its something I enjoy that is good for me. While you probably aren't a golfer find something that is good for you that you enjoy doing and do it.

JENNILACEY SparkPoints: (81,972)
Fitness Minutes: (86,286)
Posts: 2,489
7/13/13 8:19 A

I'm in a bad place this morning...

The last two nights I overate, Weezer concert and date night with hubby and then last night we both just felt like snacking. I was feeling anxious and overwhelmed. My SD just came for the week and I have to organize the couple days, fit in a lot of workouts, my son's birthday is on Monday. I knew it, I could feel the bad night ahead of me. I tried to prepare myself for it but after dinner... I just stopped caring. I wanted a fudgesicle! Of course, it sooned turned into many, many fudgesicles. Feeling depressed and guilty today. Usually when this happens I'm able to pull myself up by the boot straps and get back on track the following day... but I'm just feeling hopeless today.

Sick of tracking every little bite I eat. Sick of feeling obligated to exercise even when I have DOMS just to be able to eat enough food and get a good cal deficit for the day (particularly after I overate two days in a row). Tired of stressing out over my children's birthdays and whether or not I will have enough will power to create a calorie deficit. Sick of hovering just above my goal weight. Sick of 90% of my free time being spent thinking or reading about diet, exercise and weight loss or trying to invent new strategies to prevent overeating just to have them fail after 3-4 days.

I have the type of personality where I take on a new interest, topic or hobby become totally engrossed in it for a year or two and have little interest in anything else, until I make myself sick of it and have to move on and find a new interest. I think that's where I'm at right now. I still enjoy working out, I still enjoy eating healthy food. I'm just sick of logging onto Spark every day and recording everything, analizing everything I put in my mouth, worrying every day about creating a deficit/maintaining/surplus, etc.

It's like I just want to be back at my goal weight so I can get on with my life! But I just can't seem to get there. I just want to be at maintenance or even take a week off to refresh myself. As much as I love Spark and feel tracking is necessary I just wish it could be a small part of my life and not so all-consuming.

I don't know what to do! I don't know if I should continue trying to lose my last couple pounds... or just try to maintain my current weight. I'm afraid if I don't constantly stay on top of everything. My late night binging will get completely out of control but at the same time I'm concerned that I developed the binging because I feel so restrained/restricted during the day and I'm hating it lately. So the binging is a way to escape from the rigidity. I feel like I need a week off to just put into practice the healthy habits I've learned in the last year without having to rely so heavily on planning, plotting, tracking and just.... trust myself. Maybe practice some intuitive eating.

What do you do when you've lost your Spark?

***This probably belongs more in the "Motivation" forum but I really enjoy the thoughts and opinions of members who frequent this forum.

Edited by: JENNILACEY at: 7/13/2013 (08:35)
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