You're being much too hard on yourself. NO ONE ever became a healthy eater overnight. It's impossible. I give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was to drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.
Start with some simple changes first. Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. Set some simple goals. Example, if you're not eating 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. if you're not drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. If you're not exercising, don't try to exercise for an hour a day, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've achieved these goals, then you set new ones.
And that's how good health starts. It's not "all or nothing". It's just a few simple changes you CAN stick with.
Learning portion control and good nutrition takes time. Remember, you're trying to change habits learned over a life time. That's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year. Change takes time. Thus the need to be patient with yourself and your body.
What do I recommend ? You might consider buying the Spark book. That will give you some basic guidelines of nutrition. You can start reading some of the great Spark articles on nutrition too. Educate yourself. The more you learn, the better you'll understand what it takes to eat right.
So, check out the nutrition section for some ideas. www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition.asp
In general, if I were to go back in time and give myself one piece of advice that would help me lose weight and be healthier, it would be this. Eat 6-9 servings of fresh fruit and veggies each and every day. That one change can change everything. It won't happen overnight, but with time.... eating that many veggies will not only impact your waistline, but your health too.
And don't weigh yourself so frequently. You're going to see many up and downs on the scale not only during the week, but the day too. You're just going to have to resist the urge to get on the scale at the gym. Why torment yourself ? That's not healthy either.
Patience, it's a virtue.