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4/28/13 8:43 P

Yes I have decided I will tougher skinned this time round

JIMBUNNY SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (7,465)
Posts: 111
4/27/13 10:05 P

First of all, thanks for being real. I think because of the fact that you are exploring some of your feelings inside means you are in a good mindset to accomplish your goal. I agree with what some other others say...99% of interactions on Sparkpeople are very positive and encouraging. On the other hand, there are a few I've witnessed that really aren't very kind or in the quest of being supportive kind of cross the line or "speak" to other posters unkindly. But I have never seen people go a person's page or send private message to make mean comments. This mainly happens when posting on message boards. I honestly think most of the time that it happens is because another poster thinks their "tough love" approach will be helpful--when it really just seems abrasive...and still have never seen name-calling, or stuff like that. The abrasiveness has never happened to me but I have seen it happen a very few times to other posters. What HAS happened to me, is that people sometimes misinterpret what I'm needing help with and make assumptions that probably have to do more with their own struggle & interpretation rather than what I'm asking about. I try to keep in mind that since this is a far-reaching website that its users are of all types. And even if it can be annoying to be misunderstood, you can see that the person wanted to help--even if they are not really your type of person, LOL. What I think is important to take away from that is that you can/should ignore them. Take what works for you and ignore what doesn't. I really hope that you don't let any mean people from your past or even any future uncomfortable interactions on this site, hijack your mission. I know that, in my case, sometimes others influence how I live my life too much and I make small mistakes that mess with the progress of my weight loss but as far as what goals I choose, I still want to make those choices and won't let anyone take that from me. The most important thing is you.

HAPPYMENOW58 Posts: 2,264
4/27/13 6:21 A

Hi Elisse....I also wanted to contribute...I have found this to be a VERY positive and VERY supportive website....I think you will enjoy it....I love the positive, inspirational quotes and success stories! I also find the Spark Radio very helpful.....Welcome and enjoy...You found the right place! emoticon emoticon

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (195,969)
Fitness Minutes: (292,363)
Posts: 26,975
4/27/13 5:23 A


Never take anything said to you on an internet forum personally. It's true that there are many terrific and supportive people here on SP. And it's hoped that we act respectfully towards each and every member. However, this is not always the case. Like many social networking websites, SP has it's share of troublemakers. Some people just enjoy causing trouble. Fortunately, the moderators shut down any disruptive threads or will close down accounts of people who are irresponsible.

But then there are times we misinterpret a person's intentions. You may ask a question looking for support (or maybe a cyber shoulder to cry on). You may end up getting some tough love. And you might not like what some people say because we all do have differences of opinion. That's why you can't take anything personally. You have to develop something of a thick skin because you are going to get some negative feedback. We all have had this happen.

Weight loss is a very personalized journey. So, if you do get some negative feedback, that IS NOT a reflection on anything you did.

4/26/13 11:51 P

Thanks everyone for the encouraging messages. I feel a lot safer knowing people have a good safe time generally on this website and they reach their goals too. I feel confident knowing that.

BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,433
4/26/13 11:33 P

I hope you don't have the same experience here!

Granted, on the internet, no matter where you go, you can find "difficult people" - but Spark does give us some tools to help us protect ourselves from cyber bullying. You can block people from sending you personal emails, you can report any inappropriate post another user may place on your sparkpage or blog, and you can report any inappropriate post another user may direct at you on the forums too. You can also choose to set your sparkpage to public, friends-only or private, depending how much privacy/random contact you wish to have with others. Hopefully you won't need to use these tools very often, or at all! But they are there if the situation arises.

I've been around for 4 months now, and 99.99999% of my interactions here have been positive. It's a very supportive community. And a HUGE community. Whatever your goals, starting point, interests - you are bound to find some like minds here.

4/26/13 10:44 P

Yes I figure I should give this a chance again.

NJENGEN Posts: 740
4/26/13 10:40 P

I'm sorry for your previous experience - I've only been on Sparkpeople for about a month now and have found so much encouragement and support here! I think most of us have struggled ourselves with committing to a healthier lifestyle and then living that commitment. Many of us have done our share of yoyo dieting and/or fad diets, so that even those who've maintained a healthy weight and lifestyle for several years remember the struggle and only want to encourage others to let them know:

4/26/13 10:15 P

I feel weird when I think about losing weight and stuff. I thought I got over the feelings that people who exersizes and ate right were, don't get offended please but slightly cruel to other people who didn't do Exersize and diet. I know this gets in the way of me every time losing weight but it always comes up. I think it was cause I was cyber bullied on a diet website that was NOT sparkpeople.

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