Your wedding day moment in time is so important on so many levels. Let me reassure you that NO ONE (but you) will notice your weight. I checked out your photos... YOU are so gorgeous! On your wedding day, focus on your hubby, look at how HE sees you, how unconditionally loving and in awe of your beauty because he sees your heart. Now how do you get through this day: Pamper yourself, no matter what your size. Let others take care of you. It is YOUR day. Do the details, hair, makeup, nails... make sure you are sexy underneath that dress. (If you have to wear a couple of Spanx while in the dress, go ahead. Just change into something comfy later so you can breathe!) Make sure you TALK TO YOURSELF starting TODAY saying positive, complementary affirmations. (ignore those negative slamming voices!) What will happen in less than a month, is part of you will exude what you believe! I wish you could see yourself as your future hubby does and what I saw: GORGEOUS, BEAUTIFUL WOMAN!
Fitness Minutes: (5,543)
9/9/13 2:23 P
You asked how we got through it. Not feeling the way you want to. You are reacting to the stress of the event and, as a Type A perfectionist, I get that. I would offer a slightly different perspective that doesn't address the weight part of your comment but the "how we got through it" part.
The wedding is the beginning. The marriage is the journey. Your wedding day is a beautiful and important moment in time and it matters; your relationship is a beautiful and hopeful and challenging lifetime. They're both worth your energy and even your stress but one ends and the other continues.
I was fatter than I wanted to be five years ago (and today:) but the community of friends and family at my wedding thought I was gorgeous. More importantly, I walked toward the right man and we live a healthy and active life together now with our two young children.
It doesn't address your need to be or weigh whatever you have in your mind in that dress on that day, but hopefully it reminds you it's just the beginning of the journey. Best wishes for a happy life together.
Fitness Minutes: (1,502)
9/6/13 6:09 P
Hey, I just wanted to say that I know how you feel. I don't really have any words of wisdom and I am in approximately the same place you are... so I guess we just have to keep on trucking?
I am getting married next year and I am desperate to lose weight for my wedding as well. I am also at my heaviest all time weight. I get really irritated when people say that I don't need to lose weight, because they didn't know me when I was twenty pounds lighter. I know this weight isn't where I should be.
So... keep eating healthy and exercising and fingers crossed we'll both be super skinny for our weddings :)
Fitness Minutes: (74,443)
3,293 9/4/13 7:35 P
You know, I have heard a LOT of women say that they collapse in exhaustion after their weddings. Some sort of after-ceremony performance is mostly the stuff of movies.
You are putting too many expectations on yourself.
I agree that foundation garments are both necessary under most wedding dresses and that they CAN be very attractive.
Have you talked to your fiancée about how you are feeling about all of this?
Fitness Minutes: (285,388)
9/4/13 6:40 A
I know things seem really overwhelming right now, but you are NOT over weight. Just about every single woman wears some type of foundation garment under their wedding dress. That doesn't make you or them fat or ugly or anything else.
What's so sexy about wearing a girdle ? Ever hear of a fashion designer named Jean Paul Gaultier ? He's famous for designing Madonna's pointy bra girdle outfit. In fact, he's famous for popularizing girdles. Who else looks pretty amazing wearing foundation wear or girdle ? How about Joan from Madmen ? She's bigger than you. Look at her figure. Do you know she gets it ? A girdle.
This is a woman who knows how to ROCK her figure ! She accentuates the positive and eliminates the negative. And that's exactly what you need to do. you need to ROCK your figure at your wedding !!
Back to the girdle for a moment, many of my women friends changed their clothes multiple times during the wedding. They wore their wedding dress at the ceremony. A different gown at the reception. I was at one wedding where the bride changed four different times. Okay, that's excessive. but the point ? You can always change clothes before your wedding night. Ever watch any old movies from the 30s and 40s ? What did women do ? Why they went to the bathroom to slip into something more comfortable. Then they walked out wearing something slinky.
There are lots of things you can do to make your wedding night more sexy that don't involve you having to take off your wearing dress in front of the future hubby. That strikes me as being pretty cumbersome.
The point ? Try to relax. You're making yourself sick worrying about every single detail. That's no good. Stop beating on yourself because you're not perfect. You don't have to be perfect to be healthy. AND trying to starve yourself to lose weight between now and your wedding will just make you look ill. You want to walk down that aisle with the glow of good health ? Well fad diets aren't going to get you there.
Do your best to eat right and get a little bit of regular exercise. What can you do between now and your wedding ? If you can reduce your stress and relax, you'll stop stress eating. If you stop stress eating, you won't gain weight. You're probably start losing weight because your body will release any water weight. Most of the weight you're gaining probably is water weight as a result of eating too many salty foods.
Try to relax. Try to reduce stress. Don't try to be perfect. Just try to enjoy the moment.
If I were an unkind person I would be taking you to task! NOT for your weight, but because you perceive yourself to be fat. I had a peek at your photo, and believe me, if that is fairly current, AND if you weight ticker is where you are at, then you most definitely are NOT fat! I see a beautiful young woman with a beautiful figure - one that many MANY women would die for!!!
If you want to lose more weight, that is your business, but I really don't see that you need to, because you look like you are at a really healthy weight already.
What I would suggest that you do, is to focus on core exercises. Things like Mat Pilates! It focuses on your deep abdominal and lower back muscles, and really tones them up. Just by doing that it can give the impression you have lost weight; you can even fit into smaller clothes! What it does is improve your posture and teach you the correct breathing technique and that really tricks the mind with good thoughts :-)
Make sure that you stay well hydrated, and don't eat garbage. Clean eating helps improve any skin issues, as well as any fatigue, and I am sure that with your wedding looming very close, you are no doubt getting a bit fatigued. Learn to relax - breath properly, not from the chest, which is where a lot of people, women particularly, breathe from, and also can cause/aggravate anxiety issues.
I wish you well for you upcoming marriage, and hope that you have a wonderfully happy day :-)
Take care, Kris
9/3/13 10:33 P
I can really relate to what you're saying. I had to have my wedding dress let out so that it would fit me because I gained weight between when I ordered it and my wedding. Wasn't pleasant, but at least they were able to let it out enough.
I think that planning a wedding is pretty stressful (and I had a pretty small budget and a rather large guest list, both of which kind of contributed to the stress), but, after 18 years of marriage (hindsight is always 20/20) I can tell you that I see that it wasn't worth the stress that I had over it and I wish I hadn't let it get to me as much as it did. It was just a bunch of little things that added up...you know how it is. In retrospect, I should have just gone with the flow, done the best I could without driving myself nuts. It was just a wedding, after all, just a single day in my life. The marriage is truly, truly what's important.
So, my best advice to you is to do your best to relax, not let things get to you (especially the things which aren't really important--try to ask yourself if something is bothering you if it will matter in a year or two), try to simplify and try to take care of yourself right now. You will be a beautiful bride. Sure, people will be watching you, but it's just for a few hours and it's no big deal. You WILL be beautiful in your wedding dress with your hair all done up. I guarantee it! Your groom will think you are absolutely stunning and I'll bet he'll be more than willing to help you peel off that body suit later that night.
Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 9/3/2013 (22:54)
Fitness Minutes: (188)
9/3/13 9:22 P
First, your weight is extremely manageable at this point. Many of us have lost 100 pounds plus, so don't give up hope! The stress can play a major role in someones workout and there weight. I was in a slump for over a year and gained nearly 30 pounds because of it. If I could do it all over again I would. Try to stay positive! Your getting married and I'm sure your spouse loves you so much! In the mean time do little things like taking the stairs or going on short brisk walks/jogs. Don't stress yourself too much, enjoy your wedding!
Secondly, I'm not sure of your exact age but often times as a woman ages our metabolism changes drastically. For me that happened at 14, so I think it made me adjust better for adulthood. But as we age it happens!
Finally, I deal with my insecurities by surrounding myself around friends and family. Talk to someone, your spouse, friend or family member and tell them how your feeling. Your not extremely overweight so with some time, effort and calming down!, You will reach your goal!
I have been on Spark (off and on) for a long time now and like to think that I know exactly how to go about this whole losing weight thing. But man am I struggling. I get married in a month and I am back up to my highest weight ever. EVER. I am so mad at myself. That isn't supposed to happen, right? I should be in my prime.
I know that the stress in my life has been the major contributor to my weight gain and I don't know how to stop it. With constant work stress, the stress of planning a wedding on a budget (with no planner), and the fact that the whole thing has gotten way out of my hands has led me straight to junk food. I am in the long process of looking for the proper shapewear for my wedding dress and all I can think is, "This isn't how it's supposed to be." I mean, how can you look forward to peeling off a sweaty body suit on your wedding night? That is the complete opposite of sexy. I feel VERY fat, very fragile, and very stressed. I even started looking into diet pills out of pure desperation (I know, I know... Spark led me back to the right path).
Just, any advice would be so, so helpful. I feel like I am drowning here. I just want to feel beautiful on that day. How do you get through a day where EVERYONE is staring at you if you don't feel the way you want to? How did you cope with your insecurities?
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