Author: Sorting Last Post on Top Message:
BLUENOSE63 SparkPoints: (108,021)
Fitness Minutes: (82,255)
Posts: 2,954
8/28/13 6:48 A

WOODSYCHICK - Now that was a good answer!

EMPRESSAMQ Posts: 5,077
8/28/13 3:56 A

What helps me deal with criticism that seems unfair from persons who are prone to be negative is to remember that being negative and critical is a common trait among human beings (cats, too, lol).

So I try to remember that I have criticized and judged others unfairly and probably will do so again. It is not so much a "them" and "me" issue.

In fact, even pointing out to people that they are overly critical, negative and judging is in and of itself being overly critical, negative and judging on my part.

So for the most part these days, as I mellow with age, I just say, "Oh, well," and walk away.

I ignore them.

2FABULOUS40 SparkPoints: (34,292)
Fitness Minutes: (10,599)
Posts: 512
8/27/13 11:13 P

ignore them

8/27/13 10:04 P


Edited by: JASMINEMARS at: 8/27/2013 (22:05)
SCHEALTHNUTT SparkPoints: (49,055)
Fitness Minutes: (24,637)
Posts: 1,913
8/27/13 9:41 P

Blow off the comments !!!

8/27/13 5:54 P

Dealing with critical people is aka to me as FUN TIME!

That is if I didn't let them get under my skin which I'm prone to.....ugh.

One of my favorite ways to deal with critical people is to make sure they realize that are harmless to me or anyone else. At times I have laughed and, "Oh man, you are too funny. No one thinks like that."

That has worked many times and my intent isn't just to disarm them but to enrage them if I can by showing how ridiculous their critical comments are, to me, that's fun to do. Hey, it was their choice to open fire so let's dance.

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,452
8/27/13 3:49 P

I just turn the volume down and go to my happy place. Seriously my family can be critical and so I have had to learn to deal with that.

MAMA_CD Posts: 1,507
8/27/13 3:42 P

Sounds like great advice. I surely don't want to become one, so I don't want to hang around them either.

07SOJO Posts: 1,652
8/27/13 3:31 P


8/27/13 3:30 P

Whoever those people are, they're not your friends. They don't deserve your good news, and you have no obligation to impress them or make them happy. If you can't drop them (if they're relations or in-laws for example) then just drop your concerns about their opinion.

Also . . don't you love how people love to tell you that you're overweight like you didn't know? "My god, I'M FAT?? Thanks for telling me I had noooo idea!"

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,361
8/27/13 3:05 P

I've had a couple of people in my life that no matter what good news I had to offer (scholarships, accolades, new jobs, etc) ...would always bring up....
"Yeah, that's great BUT now you should focus on losing some of that weight".
So for me, these people where critical and naggers at the same time.
They stole the happiness out of a victory and never hesitated to remind me of my faults.

AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (74,443)
Posts: 3,293
8/27/13 1:53 P

Being critical (i.e. critical thinking) is different from criticizing. Nagging is another thing all together--you can nag somebody about something without there being any judgment or negativity involved.

Interesting that this is the fault of the other person...maybe if you are getting a lot of negative feedback, you need to try to improve whatever it is that you are not doing well.

OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (245,277)
Fitness Minutes: (122,784)
Posts: 14,857
8/27/13 11:41 A

I tend to avoid them, but when that's not possible I do my best to kill 'em with kindness. Sometimes a 'you know, you could be right about that' reply catches them totally off guard (which is pretty amusing to watch)

I get the feeling that constantly upbeat folks are just as annoying to the constant grumblers as the grouches are to the pollyannas. I know that DH (who is NOT a morning person) gets really tired of my super happiness from the second my eyes open. Which only makes me laugh...and that irritates him even more. BWAHAHAHAHAHA

SLASALLE SparkPoints: (267,070)
Fitness Minutes: (101,221)
Posts: 11,622
8/27/13 11:27 A

I have a few of these folks in my workplace. I try my best to keep a good distance. Sometimes, I have no choice. If that's the case, for any negatives, I try my best to respond with a positive, or at a minimum, say "I hear you," and try to go my own way.

8/27/13 10:51 A

How to deal with critical people? Well, I'm a critical and chronically unhappy person. I just don't know. I think one should stay away from anyone or anything that causes them disgust or discomfort or any type of pain. If that's a spouse, dependent, or coworker than that is sometimes impossible. Ignoring helps, but not really. You could try to confront head on. "I am hearing your criticism, but what exactly do you want from me?" Or "That's critical." Or "Well, to each his own." Perhaps the other person has a good reason to be critical. Say you spent the evening out with a friend and didn't answer your cell phone. Does your spouse have the right to criticize? Of course. That's a valid complaint. I guess any criticism directed toward you ... if you care about the person or have a vested stake in making that person happy (like your boss) .... then you should get to the root of the criticism. What is the purpose of it? Solve it. If it is just needless badgering for no reason, or idle gossip just for the sake of hating on you or others, then request the person to stop, because there's no purpose in it. What does it resolve? Nothing.

PROGRESSFORWARD SparkPoints: (85,717)
Fitness Minutes: (41,958)
Posts: 3,265
8/27/13 9:19 A

I avoid them.

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,361
8/27/13 8:53 A

For me, nothing is as irritating as having to deal with Critical People AKA naggers. I find constantly critical people are toxic...
and worst yet, the mood is contagious.

I found this great article on 'Helpful Ways To Deal With Critical People'

the 3 hints that I found most relevant for me are:

Don't take it personally {sometimes hard to do when you feel bullied}

Take it as a Source of Honest Feedback {they may have no concept of tact}

Disengage from their Criticism/Ignore Them {always consider the source}


Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 8/27/2013 (08:56)
Page: 1 of (1)  

Other SparkPeople Cafe Topics:

Topics: Last Post:
A more general shopping quesetion 9/17/2016 6:51:38 PM
instant coffee 1/10/2016 11:29:48 PM
Reaching out and it's hard 3/20/2016 7:33:36 AM
Hi!I'm Back! 3/8/2016 12:58:24 AM
My parents have something negative to say about 11/4/2016 5:52:47 AM