I've been there, done that. I've been on strike before and it sometimes works, but it seems like it always goes back to the way it was before. My kids are 18, 16, 15 and almost 13. What works best in our house is they aren't allowed to go with friends or do "their thing" until the chores are done.
I also love natural consequences like MYKIDSRSWEET describes. It makes the kids realize it's their fault and that we aren't nagging, but reminding. (I feel that I have to nag, too. I'm now just being stricter and saying no to things until chores are done.)
I have also learned to pick my battles. The bedrooms aren't "my clean," but now having one leaving in the fall I realize that it's really not that big of a deal. I simply close the door and snicker to myself thinking of how she'll have to deal with a roommate in college!
Hang in there!!!
Fitness Minutes: (7,799)
366 5/30/13 8:30 A
I have gone on strike before....and it can work. My kids are 4, 9, and 11. My oldest loves hockey, and I always have to remind him to pack up his hockey things and put them in the car, and nag, and nag, and nag. One day, I asked him twice, and the third time I told him it was my last reminder...he forgot, and I drove him all the way to hockey without his stuff to prove a point. He had to be benched...not a game, practice, and I dont think I will ever have to nag hime again.
I totally feel your pain. Mine was I would be out of the house from 7 in the morning till 9 at night and then get yelled at for the pile of dishes in the sink (my husband). OMG I don't think so. If you wanna lay in bed all weekend, then you are not allowed to complain because I didn't get to do ......I told him "I am your wife, is it my job only to take care of the kid?, is it my job to do all the cleaning?" he said "No", I said then help or shut up.
Fitness Minutes: (3,897)
436 5/22/13 4:40 P
I agree with everyone especially BERKANA_T. I have 3 girls and they all have chores, and have had them for awhile. My oldest is 11 and she is responsible for doing her own laundry,rotating with the dishes (I too am the dishwasher), and sweeping the house. My middle rotates with the dishes and is responsible for keeping their bathroom clean, which includes cleaning the tub and toilet. My youngest is responsible for keeping things out of the living room. They are all responsible for keeping their rooms clean. With that said that doesn't mean I have a clean house, I still have to remind them to do things and sometimes I just do it myself. I think giving them the responsibility will help them to understand why you blow your top. It sucks to wash dishes for a family of 5 only to come back in 10 minutes to have the sink full again. Good luck.
I've gone on strike in the past. Sometimes it helped. Sometimes it didn't.
One thing I did was teach my daughter to do her own laundry. She's been responsible for ensuring she has clean clothes since she was 12, and was helping me with the laundry long before that. If she runs out of clean clothes now, it's her problem, not mine. It's also her job to load and unload the dishwasher, along with a few other chores. She has chores she has to do every day and a few she has to do once a week. She gets paid an allowance, and if she doesn't do her chores, and someone else in the household has to do them for her, she gets charged a fee. It only took once of her finding out that she owed US at the end of the week to make her smarten up and start doing her chores.
Other than that, the SO and I have a deal. I'm responsible for the housework, he's responsible for the yard and vehicle work. We do help each other out every now and then, but it's not expected or required. It helps me to bite my tongue when he leaves his dirty dishes sitting on the table rather than putting them in the sink, knowing that he left them there and went straight outside to shovel the snow off the sidewalk yet again (over the winter obviously).
We found that giving everyone clear cut jobs around the house really cut down on the frustration levels. No one could come back and say "oh, I thought you were going to do that" when whatever it is, is clearly on their own list.
The dinner issue, however, is one we still struggle with. We eat out or order in way more than we should, just because no one could make a decision about what to have for dinner until it was late, and then whatever was chosen, we just didn't have the ingredients for. It's something we're still working on, and are always looking at new suggestions to try.
I think I recently had the same conversation with my husband and his response was that I'm too fussy and have less of a tolerance than him to the dirty dishes on the counter or dust or anything that is dirty. He says I have to change my tolerance level, which to me means we would be living in a very dirty and disgusting house. It's an interesting thought though, as he lived with his dad growing up and neither one of them cleaned things, so the apartment they lived in was very dirty. When I went there the first time to meet his dad I was so disgusted by the carpet and overall dirtiness. However, I do believe that if someone is used to the dirty dishes out, not loading a dishwasher, or many of the other general house cleaning principles their tolerance will be higher.
However, I want to state that I have the same issues and sometimes I just leave things sit for a little longer and then ask him to help me. If we can do it together, he's more likely to help.
Fitness Minutes: (3,044)
31 5/12/13 5:57 P
I can relate with ya'll unfortunately I'm the only adult in my house, for my husband is away working in another state. I don't have the luxury of a dishwasher, lol, I am the dishwasher. My kids are 2 and 9, so I never get a moment of peace. It really stinks when my 2 yr old throws my freshly washed/folded clothes everywhere, I can't carry them upstairs b/c I had a major stroke almost 11 months ago. I don't want you to think I'm making light on ya'lls vents, b/c I really am not. Everybody has their struggles, and it isn't fair that we as mothers, daughters, sisters, cousins, friends, and etc... seem to always catch the short end of the stick. I know when I got sick it was as if my families little world was falling apart, and I was the only glue to keep it together. Don't go on strike, just take more time for you, and sit down and write your family a letter expressing your deep heart felt concerns. It's when you think they're not listening that they really are.
Fitness Minutes: (790)
1 5/12/13 2:46 P
I feel your pain to the max! It's the cooking thing that really gets to me. My dad never knows what he wants and whenever I go to the store and ask what he feels like having it's "I dunno". With my 5 year old it's always "I don't like that" but as soon as you say I'm gonna take it away he turns around with "I want it".
The dishwasher thing too. I'm trying to teach my boy to load it but that's not going well so far. Sometimes he'll unload it for me. Dad seems to never know how to use it.. or at the very least scrub out his dishes before leaving them in the sink.
It get's so frustrating having to do everything by yourself.
Why is it that I'm the only one in this house who seems to notice the dirty dishes in the sink?? Am I the only one who knows how to load & start the dishwasher?? Are they blind to the full dirty laundry hampers?? They must not know how to use the washer & dryer...and they must be running around naked because all their clothes are in there...and on the floors of the bedrooms & bathroom.
Is it too difficult to dust & vacuum??
Why must I have to ask for someone to help out only to be met with, "I'll get to it later" but they never do..."I forgot"
Why must I blow my top before anyone lifts a finger to help?? They then have the nerve to say I get upset & could have asked them to help out.
Why do I have to come up with dinner menus only to be have whiners complain about my choices?? I ask them DAILY, what would they like for dinner & I hear, "I dunno" or "I don't care"
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