set your boundaries and STICK TO 'EM! with OBIESMOM2
the fact that you volunteered for anything is admirable, so let the others be responsible for what they opted in for and just do your own tasks. If it doesn't get done...eh. And while the idea of a website is great...if you are already witness to resistance in the areas others are supposed to be handling, what do you think is going to happen with a website. Who maintains it? Are you planning on doing that also? Don't get upset...just take a deep breadth and know that you can't save the world. Happy Holidays
Fitness Minutes: (11,796)
5,855 12/17/13 10:23 A
It seems like I have been volunteering my entire life. I always walked away with a good feeling. There were times where another working with me claimed credit and succeeded in gaining favor over me. So be it. If one is volunteering to gain credits and points, they should reconsider helping.
Ronald Reagan said it best....
Its amazing how much can get done when no one cares who gets the credit.
Volunteering is a thankless job and also very rewarding. I have been there and done that and I know how frustrating it can be to not feel appreciated. I volunteer a little bit at a time so I don't start to resent helping and it isn't fun anymore. It is so easy to do too much because your heart is in the right place and you want to help. Good luck and thanks for helping all those students that really need it and I am sure they appreciate all your help and time.
12/17/13 9:32 A
I laughed when you said you wrote a scathing email that turned into a glowing note after rewrites. I do this a lot too. You could stop doing your job and maybe they would ask you to step down but KJ is right the kids need you.
You Volunteer, as with the others, you are Not being paid and doing this on your own time. Tell the others if they DO Not step up and do their part the PTA will be disbanded. You are Not required to stay on and do all the work alone! There is Nothing wrong with you or the way you feel.
12/16/13 11:18 A
Jpenn nothing is wrong with you except what you said overvolunteering. I really had to laugh at the end of your vent though. It is frustrating when people don't pitch in and do their part, and then others complain about the way you do things. And I agree with you on all your points. Hope things get better there, and maybe it's time for others to step up.
Hi, I'm KJ and I'm an enabler........okay, not too much anymore but I get what you're saying, these folks on the PTA board just may not have the know how on what to do so maybe stepping up like you did by sending an email is the right first step.
I would suggest that a follow-up email ought to be sent asking the members what expectations do they have for the others on the board and then for themselves, this will give them food for thought about what they need to do, for all you know the woman who hasn't shown up may truly think SHE'S the only one stepping up to the plate and holding the group together, you wouldn't believe the number of times I have run across this very thing and to find out that the slugs of the group actually think they're doing the best!
Keep driving the message that you're there for the students and it's not about social hierarchy or politics, that your mission is first and foremost to the kids of your school, this helps everyone to focus together and keep things from being personal.
Good luck and please stick with it, those kids need your support.
Fitness Minutes: (119,084)
12/16/13 10:10 A
it's tough for some folks to say 'no' when asked to help (BTDT many times). I'm learning, and so can you. Sometimes you just have to say NO. Politely, but firmly.
fortunately for me, my employer does not allow me to do anything that concerns handling money or deciding how it is spent with any groups. That's been a very handy excuse (sorry, my employer will not allow that. Of course I have used the 'my employer won't allow me do to that' excuse a time or three where it might not actually be true, but I play that card when I feel pressured)
set your boundaries and STICK TO 'EM!
Fitness Minutes: (128,714)
5,169 12/16/13 10:04 A
My kids are in college now but been there and done that! Too many egos in PTA!
Fitness Minutes: (52,406)
2,704 12/16/13 9:48 A
Fair warning-this is just me venting. Nothing more and nothing less.
I am so frustrated today! Our PTA is brand new this year and I'm already sick of being on it. I should have said no. I should have walked away. But I suck at both of those, so here I am. Treasurer for an org that barely has any money. I don't know what I'm doing, but they had to have a treasurer and I sadly know more than the rest of them so they asked. Our membership vp hasn't shown up since her election, so I end up doing her work, too. WTH? Our secretary can't seem to pass out minutes, so I end up doing her work too! What the bleep is wrong with me? I can't blame it on the rest of the team since it's not like they held a gun to my head and made me do the extra work. I just cannot stand to see work not getting done!
Now other members are saying that the website I proposed is not transparent because it's not on the school's website. I hate it when people hear a word like that and latch on without paying attention to what it means! The website has plenty of information and more than the other options! But these people say these things without ever looking at the website. It pisses me off.
So this morning I wrote a scathing email to the rest of the team informing of their inferiority. Before sending I read it. And rewrote it. And read it. And rewrote it. Now it sounds like I think they are great! But at least I did tell them I have to step back from the extra duties. Now to see if anyone else will step up to do the extra work (like our do-nothing president). Ah well, at least these people shouldn't be as pissed off after reading my email as I was after reading theirs. But geez. What's wrong with me?
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