Hi RAEJEANZ - I am sorry that your life isn't too good at the moment. You are quite right, tho', that the ugliness will pass. Even the negative experiences can have a positive effect on our lives in time!
You know, the good thing about SP is that this isn't a Diet. It isn't about deprivation or starvation, but merely a healthy lifestyle. It is about balance; portion control, wise choice of foods MOST of the time, getting in your fruit and veges, good hydration (mostly with water - there are no calories or additives :-) an appropriate amount of exercise - and having fun while doing it :-) By using the Nutrition Tracker you will find a marvelous tool which can have a HUGE positive impact on you. I weigh all of my food and enter it into the tracker. It has allowed me to stay focused, which in turn allowed me to tweak my intake as and when necessary, and that in turn has allowed me to reach my goal after having been overweight for about 30 years. It took 16 months to loose the first (just over) 50lb, and I happily sat there for a year before deciding to move on down again. I am now at m y goal and have been for a long time. Rather than just using SP when you have personal issues, try using it on a regular basis. Visit the Message Boards and post. That way you will find a lot of support for the issues in your life, as well as your healthy lifestyle journey. You might even find that you find it quite fulfilling and bring that happiness you desire and deserve. I know it has helped me immensely! It is a proven way to help us to reach our goals.
Good luck and remember to keep in touch on the message boards :-)
Fitness Minutes: (96,120)
11,320 11/19/12 6:00 P
I'm glad you know that you are not alone and that SparkPeople has many areas for your to reach out to so you can learn.
Definitely baby steps, one at a time. They all add up more quickly than you would ever think. Slow and steady is key.
You've got TONS of great advice below, but I'll reiterate on a few: (1) get to know friends in you spark team(s); (2) look at a bad day as a learning experience; and (3) be kind to yourself as you start the process of changing what might have in the past been a diet; but needs to be a lifestyle change!!
Too often we get stuck on the levels of expectation we expect from ourselves and that we perceive others expect of us. I like to remember what God said to Moses to encourage me in my daily walk to edify myself. He said "I AM" --- to me that says it all. All the labels just have to fall away and I can be happy that I exist.
10/16/12 10:45 A
You wrote that you had a lot of bad eating habits. Choose one at a time to overcome and stick with it. For example, you could start with eating normal portion sizes. Love ice cream like I do? I allow myself 1/2 cup serving a day. I can have it five days a week. That is a considerable amount less than I used to have. Do you love a sandwich at lunch? Eat half of it and save the other half for a mid-afternoon pick-me-up snack. Choose brown rice over white. Pick light ranch dressing over the normal one. Have yogurt and cottage cheese on potatoes instead of sour cream. Have 1/2 the amount of butter on a piece of toast. These are small, doable changes that anyone can make and eventually add up to something significant.
Bit by bit, anythings a cinch. Hang in there. Keep reading lots of posts. There are tons of good ideas here from people just like you. Be encouraged.
10/15/12 3:45 P
Best of luck with this and all your endeavors! I've just started back up recently on Spark too, and I'm glad I did. Hopefully we can all be sounding boards for eachother. I'm always looking for a new friends. Warm thoughts and wishes to you! Feel free to contact anytime if you are ever looking for a "stranger" to just be a sounding board!
10/15/12 2:11 P
Wow, thanks a lot this really helps. I have a lot of bad eating habits that I need to slowly change so I don't fail..This definitely is a learning curve for me .
Rae - perhaps in the past you've had an "all or nothing" attitude? Did you feel that if you couldn't do everything perfectly, why bother? If so, frustration will come every time you"fail" to be perfect. Keep in mind that losing weight is a lfe-long journey with lots of twists, turns and even some backtracking.
This time, don't start anything that you're unwilling to do for the rest of your life. Choose one aspect to focus on....personally, I'd recommend starting with the food tracker. IMO, it is the single best tool on the entire site. Make sure all your data is in spark correctly, and then let it compute a calorie range for you. Track EVERYTHING you eat for about a month and see what jumps out at you. It will become really clear what your issues are, and what you should work on changing. Make small sustainable changes that will get you closer to your ranges every day. When you have a bad day, look at it from a learning standpoint....what could you do differently next time? Then shake it off and start over with the next meal.
No one else, not even a spouse or parent, will ever care as much for YOU as YOU should. If you don't put enough of a priority on your good health, no one else will either. Just focus on being the best you can be right now, and everything else will fall into place.
Fitness Minutes: (3,880)
10/15/12 1:52 P
Take it one day at a time and each and every morning look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that your a beautiful women... then take the bull by the horns and take control...
10/15/12 1:37 P
Thanks for the great words it really means a lot. I know I am really hard on myself and need to pick myself up. Spark is a great way for me to start to make myself be a better person and get a grip. Thanks Again.
Fitness Minutes: (409)
10/15/12 1:33 P
Hey Unhappy Woman. Sounds like you are struggling. For myself, I cannot succeed at anything when I feel BAD about myself. It sounds like you feel bad about yourself. I took a look at your profile pic and thought Holy cow, that woman has an amazing smile. I challenge you to go to the mirror, look at your smile, and remind yourself that you are awesome Just the Way You Are. When you remember to love yourself the way you are, you will start to gain the power to change those small things about yourself that you want to. Instead of being debilitated by failure, you will be so proud of your success!
10/15/12 1:21 P
Welcome back! It certainly seems like you've had a lot going on in your life! I would really recommend joining some spark teams that interest you- they can be a really great source for motivation and support and can be that extra push you need to stick with it!
10/15/12 11:51 A
Hi there, I have been with Spark for about 2 years now and never really go on it, I have bad self discipline and am very unhappy. I'm going through a rouugh time in life right now. I just left a 4 year relationship and have been laid off twice in a year and a half. Life is not on my side right now but I know this uglyness will pass and make me a better person. I need to make me be a happier one and the first step to that is loosing weight. I keep trying and keep failing. I've tried weight watchers over and over again and don't see progress. I'm so at the end of my rope. I have used Spark before when I have personal issues and it really helps to post my feelings and get the pep talks to keep going, So I will start here again and hopefully get it right this time around. HELP!!!!!
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