I know I spoke of this on my blog - excuse the repetition please, but this is something I really wanted to share. Meri
"Focusing our attention incessantly on matters that disturb us, keeps us disturbed. And our obsession with our problems leaves no room for their solutions. However, we are only powerless in the face of difficulties if we choose to be. We are always free to search for the good, which is lost in a tangled situation. We can be certain that our progress in life is equal to our capacity to let go of our problems and move ahead with the momentum of a positive attitude".
I came across this quote today and felt it a personal message. It spoke to a personal problem and alternately to another that was even more disturbing.
I gave up the keys to my car today. It is a pretty little silver Scion and only two years old. The odometer just hit 2085 miles. No one said I had to, but I knew that I have had just too many close-calls to continue to be confident. I was in Florida years ago when I learned to drive at 14. Now at 77, I still love to drive and it is a habit that is part of me. in Boston, in New York, in Miami, in Dearborn, in New London, Stonington, Rome, NY, Springfield Mass.,in Holyoke Ma. I love to drive and as is evidenced above was the assigned driver for many of our Houses of Study.
I first noticed that something was wrong, funny in one way, but wrong, when after 27 years in Holyoke, I got lost on my way to the hospital. Since then there have been too many near-misses. When it came close to a head-on the other week, I decided – no more. I would feel horrible if my lack of swift response caused me to injure a child or pet in the road, or another family on the highway. And I didn’t want to go crashing into the front window of a jewelry store. An elderly driver is very often the cause of accidents like that. Bad publicity for seniors!
As I started to reference other means of transportation locally, I came across seniors who were no longer driving – because their children had taken their keys away from them. That is so hurtful. It is enough to realize that this loss of ability has crept up on you, but to have someone forcing you to a something that further weakens your independence is very painful for most.
I am a very stubborn individual (my sister says) and if she tried to take my keys away, force me to stop driving, we would have had a lot of unpleasantness. I even fought with myself for a few weeks until I found myself afraid to take the wheel.
The point for you my readers is to be as diplomatic, as gentle, as possible. Realize that this loss really hurts and provide as many alternatives as possible.
If lovingly done, your dear senior, while regretting another loss, will know, for sure, that you are understanding – this is a loss toward the end of life and hard to deal with. Loving you, his family, even his pets enough will ease the transition. Bless you for looking out not only for his physical safety, but for the emotions as well.
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