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QANTASGIRL SparkPoints: (4,407)
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11/1/12 2:51 A

I definantely think women, and men, dress in a way that is empowering for them. I know I do. However I have more conservative taste than what is described.
As far as embracing ones curves goes I think that is individual and personal. We each discern what we ourselves are comfortable with, set our goals and strive to achieve them. Who is to say who is confident or who is insecure? Life style choices = life choices, lose weight or embrace curves, personal choice!
I live in Australia and we tend to be much more relaxed than the US deep south.


BLUBEL1 Posts: 1,003
11/1/12 2:25 A

I think she's in denial. Seriously.

JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (230,130)
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10/31/12 2:33 A

I guess to each his/her own!!!!

BERRY4 SparkPoints: (142,426)
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10/31/12 12:04 A

Is that what you call it? -- I remember awhile back seeing a woman, probably in her 60's who dressed like she was still 20. Yikes! It was NOT complimentary.
If she was looking to draw lots of attention to herself... SUCCESS.

Guess it all depends on your goals!?!

ATHENA1966 Posts: 2,452
10/30/12 9:50 P

@ the original poster. My apologies if I misinterpreted your original post that stated, " I'm all about body confidence, but I actually kind of think she made her body look cheap instead of beautiful (and my opinion has nothing to do with her weight, just her choice of clothing)". My response was a general observation that women tend to be judgemental of each other.

@KJ When I was a smoking hot 20 year old my confidence was off the chart. I am not sure if it was because I was to young to realize that I had a lot to learn, or because I was noticed when I walked in to a room. In all honesty, I hope it was because of my knowledge and work ethic. Probably a little of both. I can say that my confidence has decreased as my weight has increased. I work on my weight and confidence on a daily basis.



07SOJO Posts: 1,648
10/29/12 3:42 P

I agree with you, I don't like to see that much skin and I don't like to show it. To me, showing off your body in that way could portray insecurity as much as confidence. If you're confident and happy with your body, you don't have to advertise it to the world. The peace and satisfaction you have inside is what gives a woman strength and confidence!

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,706
10/29/12 3:21 P

I don't feel it is empowering to dress with everything hanging out. It is empowering to dress nicely. Maybe she feels that she is dressing nicely.

I think she would feel more empowered if she dressed appropriately for her body type.

KJFITNESSDUDE Posts: 15,787
10/29/12 1:19 P

Professionalism at work (dressing appropiately according to dress code rules set by company) should be upheld, this definitely will help to curb sexual harrassment situations, not all but somewhat.

That said a woman where I work is just smokin hot all the time and though she dresses within our strict dress code I can't help but notice the confidence she exudes when she walks by and says HI to me.



KES1089 SparkPoints: (897)
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10/29/12 10:16 A

Also, for those who misunderstood me and think that I was judging her and asked how I would feel: I wouldn't care. People judge people. It's human nature to look at someone and have thoughts about that person based on how they present themselves. Although, I wasn't judging her by her weight, or clothing. I was merely curious about how women feel about themselves. However, I know people may judge me based on my appearence (though I was not doing this to her), and I am not bothered by it at all.

BLUEBIRDSFLY Posts: 3,627
10/29/12 10:16 A

I don't believe showing off "everything" makes a woman more beautiful. I think this woman actually might not feel all that confident about herself it she needs to show everything. I
believe, and this is strictly my opinion, that it is nice to leave something to the imagination instead of it all being in my face. But that's just me. Even when I was very thin, I never dressed provocatively. I wasn't looking for the particular attention that would bring.

KES1089 SparkPoints: (897)
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10/29/12 10:05 A

My question wasn't whether or not she should've been that revealing. Also, it had nothing to do with her being a certain size. I was questioning whether or not women feel if it's empowering to them to dress a certain way. I think my point got lost. Also, this woman was not a coworker, so this has nothing to do with HR. I'm just curious if women feel that this woman was empowering or not. I did not judge her, her weight, nor was I calling her cheap. Again, this was just to get different women's views on empowerment through dressing a certain way.

VBCABELLO72 Posts: 105
10/29/12 12:04 A

Well said, marietimson! I don't have an opinion one way or the other. I think focusing on others and what they are doing takes away from the focus I need to be giving myself. Too little focus on myself is what got me here.

Edited by: VBCABELLO72 at: 10/29/2012 (00:06)
GOOSIEMOON SparkPoints: (171,961)
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10/28/12 8:13 P

If this is a work situation, I guess HR should handle it...

ATHENA1966 Posts: 2,452
10/28/12 8:06 P

I do agree with Anarie. A individuals dress while working should reflect the standards established as agreed upon as a condition of employment. Beyond that, if your not breaking any laws, to each their own.

On the other hand, I find it so interesting that we as women are so judgemental of other women. This is my own observation. Why do we do this? I am just as guilty as the next girl. Men don't critique each other like this. Why do we ?



ANARIE Posts: 12,442
10/27/12 5:12 P

By the way, the nicest way I've found to handle the "don't lose weight, be proud of who you are" comments is to say, "I wish I could, but there's a family history of weight-related illness I'm trying to beat." That never fails to end the conversation, and sometimes it's just a reminder that it's not all about appearance.

MMEEAAGGX3 SparkPoints: (1,281)
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10/27/12 4:42 P

That is a good point Anarie!

ANARIE Posts: 12,442
10/27/12 4:24 P

I think that people should be able to dress however they like and not be judged... ON THEIR OWN TIME. If you're at work, on the other hand, you're being paid to represent the employer and not cause a distraction. If people are judging you for the way you're dressed, it means your clothing is getting more attention than your work. No matter what your size, the see-through blouse should have at least a camisole under it until after work.

I'm also going to point out that the judgementalism went both ways here. "No woman should ever try to lose weight" can be just as offensive as "You shouldn't wear that at your size." Telling someone they should or shouldn't change their body is actually more personal than saying they should or shouldn't change their clothes.

SHYLOSER Posts: 43
10/27/12 2:28 P

This thread bothers me.

As if we don't have enough to worry about with poor body image, now people are saying those who feel good enough about themselves should feel bad and cover up.
"You're too fat to wear that!" imagine someone saying that to you, when you think you look good?
There's no way to know exactly how a person feels, or what they are thinking, so why sit and judge them?

If someone is happy and feels confident in themselves, and actually loves their body (a rare thing from what I've seen!) I say let them be! Don't try to take that away from someone.

What's next? Bags for ugly people so we don't have to see their faces? "Think of the children, they'll have nightmares!" C'mon now! It's ridiculous! lol

CAMEOSUN SparkPoints: (77,647)
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10/27/12 12:10 P

Letting it hang out @ 180# -- well if you're in the south maybe she's trying to cool off that way??

ONLINEASLLOU SparkPoints: (48,422)
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10/27/12 11:25 A

While a big part of me wants to respect the rights of people do dress as they please, another part of me believes that some people expose WAY too much.

I went to a water park this past summer and saw some outrageous things -- people practically naked in tiny little bikinis who definitely should have "covered some that up." I find it hard to believe they thought they looked good.

I also see some outrageous outfits at work. I work in a children's hospital and am amazed what some of our (adult) visitors wear. You can see their underwear ... their butts ... their breasts ...just about everything. None of us should have to look at that, particularly not the kids.

TCANNO SparkPoints: (107,176)
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10/27/12 11:10 A

it's what we have to live with


ATHENA1966 Posts: 2,452
10/27/12 9:56 A

Plinthess I am with you. If it makes the girl happy, who cares?

KKKAREN SparkPoints: (214,853)
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10/27/12 7:28 A

there's no accounting for taste, she doesn't sound like a very classy lady.

PLINTHESS SparkPoints: (35,487)
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10/27/12 4:47 A

Generally I really love women, but we have some faults, don't we? We really love to judge other women. How do you feel about others judging you - saying you are too heavy, for example?

FITMOM1969 SparkPoints: (2,206)
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10/27/12 12:22 A

Dropcone it does sound like a customer since I re read it, but my opinion still stands since people show up to work just like this woman. Also for the people I encounter everywhere who dresses in this manner, I will just look away I can't worry about others unless it directly effects me somehow such as my spouse or child.

GAILSTANFORD SparkPoints: (108)
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10/25/12 8:12 P

When I see a woman scantily dressed.. I just look away.

Can not say the same thing for men.

MARIETIMSON SparkPoints: (151)
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10/25/12 6:14 P

I have a "to each their own" out look in life. People do what they ae going to do, wear what they are going to wear. As long as it isn't me... I don't care.

MMEEAAGGX3 SparkPoints: (1,281)
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10/25/12 6:05 P

When I see a woman baring that much skin, it does not say confidence to me, it says insecure. I have several tattoos that I show off during the summer, I think it's okay to look sexy, but not overdo it!

Edited by: MMEEAAGGX3 at: 10/25/2012 (18:06)
I_HEART_MY_FAM Posts: 1,809
10/25/12 4:09 P

My opinion is that when a woman shows off too much they do not have self love or confidence, they are trying to get the dawgs to bark at them and that's where they get false confidence. The dawgs that bark at of them are not worth a damn either. It is sad!

Edited by: I_HEART_MY_FAM at: 10/25/2012 (19:05)
DROPCONE Posts: 1,532
10/25/12 3:03 P

I read that differently, I thought the revealingly-dressed woman was a customer or client, and the co-worker was a third person.

I think that however anyone dresses is up to them, and is about how that person sees themselves and wants to appear to the world. If someone is dressing in an attention-getting way, they do that because they want attention of one kind or another. And that's OK for them! Not my thing though.

I do think that at some point while I was living my life, it became more normal or mainstream to wear styles and clothes that I was taught were "trashy" when I was younger. For instance, blouses and tops are more fitted and reveal a lot more cleavage and/or shoulder than they used to, even for business wear. I was taught to consider open toed shoes as trashy as were sling backs and very high heels, and now I see perfectly respectable women wearing them in the office and on formal occasions. It also became way more acceptable to wear pajamas and flip-flops in public rather than just around the house.

I figure live and let live. If it's too much I just avert my eyes, and poke fun at my husband if he doesn't!

FITMOM1969 SparkPoints: (2,206)
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10/25/12 2:31 P

emoticon To me dressing sexy and trashy are two different things and either way sexy has it's place and I don't believe the work place is it, neither is it a place for a trashy look either. But some jobs have gotten to relaxed, there should be a dress code at your job and a boss who enforces it but it doesn't sounds like that happens at your job.

As far as her reasons for dressing that way it could be very well the reason she gave or a multitude of others who knows why people do what they do now days I stopped trying to figure out why people do what they do a long time ago, because if I concentrate on that it will drive me crazy and it's not worth it.

I see women all the time slim women a little overweight to morbidly obese dressing what I consider totally inappropriate and by that I mean by dressing how you describe your co worker dressing in see through clothes, hanging out of their clothes, clothes to tight just not attractive a bit trashy in my opinion not sexy at all and just because some of them are slim it doesn't make it sexy when it's trashy and or sloppy looking.

I say to each her own, I just look the opposite way that's all we can do about it we can't tell people what to wear or give an opinion when it wasn't asked for, but some people do. Do what's best for you and maybe one day your co worker will get it and dress more professional and maybe not.

TCANNO SparkPoints: (107,176)
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10/25/12 2:20 P

oh well it take all sorts


KES1089 SparkPoints: (897)
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10/25/12 2:14 P

TACDBG- I didn't even think that she may be just hiding her insecurities. I've heard many women talk about how they love their bodies no matter what their size, and I admire that. However, I just thought that this woman's actions were not uplifiting to other women like she meant them to be. Although, it is her personal choice, and I truly do hope she is happy with herself just the way she is.

LOUNMOUN Posts: 1,291
10/25/12 1:36 P

I don't think always dressing in very tight, revealing clothing and super high heels is about telling the world that you feel beautiful and are confident and happy in your body. I think it definitely says that you desperately want people to pay attention to you. To me that says insecurity and defiance more than confidence.



TACDGB Posts: 6,131
10/25/12 1:27 P

It may be her way of trying to like her body. Deep inside her self she may not like what she sees. This may be a mask for her. Even tho I think that it makes her look trashy. Then men or other people won't take her serious.

LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 16,126
10/25/12 12:02 P

All women - no matter what they weigh - should not be hanging it all out for the world to see.


WINGSOFCHANGE Posts: 1,489
10/25/12 11:49 A

I think that when women dress like that, it's for one reason - to get attention. I'm all for embracing your curves and loving your body, but WHY do you need to put it all out there?

KES1089 SparkPoints: (897)
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10/25/12 10:28 A

At work yesterday I met a woman who was about 25ish, and she was showing a lot of skin. And by a lot I mean there was hardly anything left to the imagination. A see through lace shirt with no undershirt just a bra, a short short mini skit, and very high heels. I live in the deep south, so it's still warm here. I was helping her, and she over heard one of my co workers joking with me about how I think I need to lose weight. The woman then tells me that no woman should ever lose weight, and if we get big then we should embrace it. Then she tells me that she shows off her "beautiful body rolls and all at 180 pounds" because she's making a point to the world. (The quotes are her words exactly).

I'm all about body confidence, but I actually kind of think she made her body look cheap instead of beautiful (and my opinion has nothing to do with her weight, just her choice of clothing). Women are beautiful, but I guess I personally like to keep a little more covered up. That's just my personal opinion, and I understand that many people think different then me. What do you guys think? Do you think that showing off everything you've got makes a point about women's beauty or do you think it does the opposite?

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